Chapter 2

When we got back to camp, I saw that Leon and Carver were still asleep. “Boys,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. Clapping my hands together loudly, I said, “Get up, you lazy bums!”

Leon stirred first, sitting up in a few moments. After rubbing his eyes and stretching, he spotted Thorn and Reddick. “Thorn! Reddick! How lovely to see you again!” he said, standing up and trying to shake the sleep out of his head.

Carver was slower in getting up. Frustrated and impatient, I thrust the sword into the ground right next to his head. “Ahhh!” he cried, jumping up quickly. “Where the hell did you get a sword, Ever?”

“That can wait, do you know anything about this?” I asked, wrenching it out of the ground and thrusting it into his hands. I pointed to the blade. “My name is engraved into the blade.” Then I pointed to the hilt. “And the fleur de lis. In the hilt. That’s Dad’s symbol. That he put on everything he made.”

“I don’t know anything about this sword, I swear to you, Ever,” my brother said, looking at me shocked eyes. “Why would Dad make you a sword?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, taking the sword back from him and shrugging.

“Where did you get that anyway?” he asked again.

“Thorn and Reddick found it near where our house used to be,” I informed him. “She gave it to me while I was saving Reddick from being choked to death by an Imperial Guard in the Forest of Eden.”

“What?” Leon asked incredulously. “When did all this happen?”

“While you two lazy bums were sleeping the day away!” I snapped. “Sorry, fighting off the Imperial Guard this early in the morning makes me cranky.”

“Shit, the Imperial Guard is here? We better go before they track you guys back here,” Leon said, looking around frantically.

“No need,” I told him firmly. “They won’t be tracking anyone anymore.”

“Ever…” Carver said softly. “What did you do?”

“I killed them,” I replied, after a few moments of silence. “They’re dead. I cut off the head of the one trying to choke Reddick, and I stabbed the other one. They’re both dead. By my hands.”

Even though I was staring furiously at the ground, I did not have to look at them to know that Carver, Leon, Reddick, and Thorn were all exchanged concerned looks. “Are you okay, Ever?” Carver asked, placing a brotherly hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure that can’t be easy. But you did what you had to do.”

“I’m fine,” I told him, jerking my shoulder away from his hand. “I’m fine.” I walked away, needing some time by myself. I knew they were all worried about me. And I was worried about myself.

Because I hadn’t lied.

That had been my first and second kills.

And I didn’t feel a thing.

No remorse, no sadness, no guilt.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

EMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEM

We covered at least three miles that day and finally settled down for the night next to a small river. Reddick was bathing in the stream, Carver and Thorn were conversing closely some several yards away. I was sitting next to the fire with Leon, who was strangely silent. “Ever,” he said at last, finally breaking the silence. “How are you?”

“I’m alive,” I told him.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he said patiently. “I mean, how are you doing? How are you feeling? I know it must be hard, having lost your father and M-“

“Don’t,” I told him firmly. “Please, Leon. Just… don’t.”

“Alright,” he conceded, after staring at me in concern for several long moments. “I’m here if you need me, you know that, right?”

“Yes, I know,” I told him, managing to flash him a small smile. “Thank you, Leon. You are a true friend.”

“I try,” he shrugged. Looking over at Carver and Thorn laughing together, he said, “Will your brother ever say anything to her?”

“No, probably not,” I replied, tracing the shape of a fleur de lis in the dirt. “He hasn’t got the guts. He’s brave, my brother. But not when it comes to Thorn. He’s a complete spineless git then. And he values their platonic relationship far too much to say anything to her even if he did have the balls to do it.”

“Nicely put,” Leon chuckled. “Do you know how she feels about him?”

“No idea,” I responded. “You said yourself, she’s very fickle. She could love him one minute, then never want to speak with him again the next. You know Thorn.”

“That’s true, I do know her,” he murmured, and I thought of the relationship Thorn and Leon had at one point. It had been about a year ago. Thorn and Leon were together, in the romantic sense. Carver was miserable. It was a very rocky time for the relationship between Leon and Carver. My brother felt as though Leon had stabbed him in the back, even though Carver had never had the guts to openly admit to Leon that he loved Thorn. The only person he openly admitted it to was me, because I was his sister. Everyone else was able to figure it out without him saying a thing. Not that I didn’t already know when he told me. Leon and Thorn were romantic for a while, then Leon told her that he loved her. She ended things then and there. Though they are still friends, things have never been quite the same between them since. And she had grown a lot closer to Carver in the past year.

As if reading my mind, Leon said, “I’m over it, you know. It still sort of hurts, what she did to me. But I’m over it. I’ve forgiven her. But I don’t think things between her and me can ever go back to how they once were.”

“I understand,” I said. “I never really expected them to.” Talking of romance made me think of Moore, which made my heart hurt. It was the first thing I had felt since Moore’s mom told us that he had been going over to our house when the arson was committed. While I enjoyed knowing that I still had a heart, I did not relish the feeling, so I abruptly changed the subject. “We need to find a map or something. We need to know where we’re going.”

“Ah,” Leon said. “And so she masters her impulsive tendencies.”

“Oh, shut up,” I said, grinning ruefully at him. “But we really do need a map of some sort.”

“You’re right,” he sighed. After a moment, he brightened and said, “I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ll follow the river. There’s bound to be some sort of village or town along the river. We can get a map in town and more supplies, and possibly even concoct some semblance of a plan.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said. “Good job, Leon.” I glanced across the fire at my brother and sighed. “Carver hasn’t talked to me since I stalked off this morning.”

“Well, I think he took it kind of personally. He used to always be able to cheer you up, and you just refused to let him,” Leon said. “I’m not saying you did anything wrong, necessarily, I’m just saying that you hurt his pride a little bit.”

“Yeah, well, his ego was big enough to give shade to a small third-world country,” I muttered. “But I know what you mean. He’ll cool off by tomorrow morning and he’ll be all buddy and stuff with me again soon. I just wish M-“ I stopped myself before I could finish my sentence.

“I know, Ever,” Leon said softly. “I know.”

“Ever?”

I looked up from my spot on the ground to see Moore standing over me, his light brown eyes filled with concern and worry. “Hello, Moore.”

“What’s wrong, Ever? Leon came to my house. Told me you were out here crying. What’s going on?” he said, sitting down next to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, holding me close to him.

“I got into a fight with Carver,” I replied quietly, looking down at the ground.

“A fight with Carver?” he echoed. “Really? I’ve never seen you two fight. I mean, sure, I’ve seen you two bicker like brother and sister, but I’ve never seen you actually fight with him.”

“That’s because it almost never happens,” I told him. “But this time it was really bad.”

“What happened, love?” Moore asked me. “Come on, you can tell me.”

I sucked in a slow, shaky breath. “After lunch, I went looking for him. Leon was over, and he wanted Carver to skip stones with us. When I found him, he was looking at pictures of our mother. I sat down next to him, and I said, ‘You really miss her, huh?’ He replied and said that he did. I told him that I did too. Then he laughed, in an ironic, cynical kind of way. I asked him why he was laughing. He told me that he thought it was funny that I missed Mom when I never really knew her. I told him that it was perfectly reasonable. It’s not as bad for me as it is for him, but I can still see what I’m missing. I still see you with your mother, and Thorn and Reddick with their parents. Then he glared at me and said that I had no right to miss Mom because it was my… it was…”

“It was your what, baby?” Moore asked, holding me closer and pressing a kiss to my black hair. “It’s okay, Ever. Come on. You can tell me, love.”

“He said it was my fault that Mom died.” I spoke the words so quietly that I was surprised he had heard them.

“Oh, Ever,” he said, squeezing me as I buried my face in his chest. “You know that’s not true, don’t you?”

I didn’t reply, I merely sniffled into his shirt.

“Ever,” he said sternly, putting a finger under my chin and forcing me to look him in the eyes. “It is not your fault that your mother died. She was sick. Childbirth was rough. That was in no way at all your fault. Understand?”

I sniffled again, and nodded my understanding.

“And I swear, if Carver ever says anything like that to you again, I’ll beat him senseless. I don’t care if he’s your brother and my friend, he has no right to say those things to you,” he growled.

“Don’t, Moore,” I told him gently, reaching up to cup his cheek with my hand. He leaned into my hand and placed one of his over it. “Carver is my brother, and I love him. He took the death of our mother very badly, almost worse than Dad. Those are the only times he is ever truly mean to me. Don’t worry about it. He’ll come to me groveling and apologizing by morning.”

“If you say so,” Moore said, sounding a tad bit uncertain.

“I say so,” I told him firmly. “Thank you, Moore. For everything.”

“It’s no problem, Ever,” he said, looking down at me. “Ever… I love you.”

The world seemed to stop moving for a moment as he uttered those words to me for the very first time. I felt a bubbly feeling growing in the pit of my stomach as I beamed brightly at him and said, “I love you too, Moore. I love you too.”

“Ever?”

Leon’s voice quickly ended my trip down memory lane. “Huh? Yeah?” I replied absentmindedly, turning to look at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked me. “You just sat there and stared at nothing for about five minutes. I couldn’t seem to get your attention.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I told him, rubbing my eyes. “Just tired.”

He saw right through my lie, I was sure of that. But being the kind of friend that he was, he decided not to pry. “Well, why don’t you go to sleep, Ever? I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn to take the watch.”

“All right. Thanks. Good night, Leon.”

“Good night, Ever. Sweet dreams.”

My dreams were far from sweet.

I saw nothing. I felt nothing. I only heard the most terrible sound I could possibly imagine.

Though I had not been there when my house went up in flames, all night long I was haunted by the sound of Moore’s dying screams.

He was screaming one word, over and over again.

My name.

He was screaming for me.

For me to help him.

But I never came.