Impossibly Possible

Prologue

You know when a girl gets abducted or runs away how you see her picture on the local or national news? How you see her parents and friends are so completely worried about her and are pleading for your help to find one of their many daughters? Or possibly the only daughter they have and how they treasure her so much.

I can never be that girl. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m not super thin, or the fact that my hair lacks luster, or that I’m somewhat invisible to the student body. Maybe I lack charisma, I don’t know, but it would be nice if that were to happen to me; complicated, but nice. Just to see my face on the television screen and see my mom crying into a tissue pleading to know if I am safe. That’d be great to see that someone cared enough to want my face on the TV screen. Not that I’m not saying my parents and friends don’t care, it’s just not their style to announce my disappearance on primetime television or Good Morning America.

But I’m not doing it to get noticed, to be infamous. That’d be just ridiculous. If I wanted attention like that I just would have gotten knocked up—if that weird thick gay guy in my fourth period can get laid, then I might have a speck of a chance. No, I did it for the opposite actually. I needed to get away—disappear for a little while. Hopefully it wouldn’t be forever. Hopefully I would be able to return. Once I sorted through everything and figured stuff out, I’d come back. I’d return and everything would be as it was before.

I stepped into the car I’ve becoming accustomed to; I knew it was for the best. I can’t stay here. It isn’t safe. I buckled myself and took a shaky breath. I don’t want to see the familiar surroundings just blur by like I know they would, so I closed my eyes.

If I don’t think about it too much, then I can just pretend that I’m not running away. I can pretend that I won’t see anyone of my friends or family for a very, very long time—if I even get to see them at all after this. I can pretend that I won’t miss them; any of them even some of my friends that I didn’t really consider friends.

It’s funny, once I would have wished more than anything that I wouldn’t see some of their faces ever again, but when I wished that I was wishing that they’d be the ones leaving not me. And know that I know that I won’t see any one of those people who enjoy pestering me; I know now that I’m going to miss them. I’m going to picture their face every day and yearn for them to tease me just one more time.

The fleeting image of the place that I didn’t recognize as my home until now caused a single tear to roll down my cheek. Quickly, I wiped it away immediately feeling foolish and I set my eyes forward focused on the journey ahead of me, the journey for answers.