A/N: Everybody sing with me, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Subconscious-Flirt… -drumroll- happy birthday to you!

Yes, that’s right, readers! Our dear Subconscious-Flirt is another year older, and this is being posted to commemorate this event. Of course, originally, this was supposed to be for her while she was grounded… but I never finished it then because I’m a lazy ass, so. Here it is now!

Disclaimer: No offense to people who smoke pot and/or like Marilyn Manson. Yeah, you’ll see.

(and even though where I live, it’s not her birthday, she’s on the East Coast right now, so it’s her birthday there, so I’m posting it JUST FOR HER. She’d better appreciate it :P)

Grounded With a Chance of Breakup

Or “The Ellis-Trellis Story”

“Shit!” Ellis hissed. “Double fucking shit motherfucker.” He leaned against the wet shower wall, clutching his foot in both hands. Have you ever stubbed your toe on porcelain? Ellis has. No. Not so much fun.

The water poured down on his side, making the pain a little easier to bear under its warm torrents. He let his foot go and began to rub shampoo into his hair. No, things had not been going particularly well for Ellis lately. Aside from his throbbing toe, he was also grounded for the next week and a half. His mother was young, a very free-spirited woman (most of the time) and never complained when Ellis drank small amounts of alcohol in a mature, controlled environment. Unfortunately for him, having to pick up one’s son at a police station at three in the morning sort of gave the impression that he had, in fact, been drinking large amounts of alcohol in an immature, uncontrolled environment. Though she didn’t say anything as she drove him home, when he’d come down to eat this afternoon, she informed him that he was grounded.

To make matters worse, Jesse was still mad at him. Or, more precisely, Jesse still believed that Ellis was still mad at him. Possibly, Jesse still thought that Ellis thought that Jesse was mad at him.

Obviously, Ellis was most certainly not mad at Jesse, and he honestly hoped Jesse wasn’t mad at him, but there was no way for him to check because his mother had taken his phone and laptop away and locked them in her firebox, the key to which was securely around her neck.

“Mom,” he’d told her seriously after she’d taken his electronics away, “Jesse thinks I hate him! Can’t I just call him really quickly so he knows I don’t?”

“No,” she said without missing a beat.

“But mom! I have to call him! What if he thinks we’ve broken up? I can’t wait a week and a half to tell him we’re not!”

She made a humming noise in the back of her throat. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you went to this party last night, Ellis Virgil Polo?”

“But mom—”

“I said no.”

This is when Ellis fled to his room, slammed the door, and dissolved in a mess of tears.

And of course, his mother didn’t even feel bad about it. She’d never liked Jesse very much. Well, actually, it was less that she didn’t like Jesse, and more that she didn’t like the idea of what Jesse was becoming to Ellis—when Ellis had first introduced them, she said, “Ah, high school love. Too bad it never lasts.” Afterward, Ellis had comforted Jesse, saying that whether they lasted or they didn’t, at least they were together now. But Jesse evidently didn’t want to be together now. He wanted to be together forever. And Ellis did to, of course. He was just less eager to put their relationship before everything else. They were young! They shouldn’t be basing their entire futures on each other!

This was actually what they’d fought about. Jesse had gotten accepted into Yale (go him, right?) but Ellis had his heart set on going to UCLA, which he’d been accepted to. Jesse claimed he’d rather live with Ellis in Los Angeles than go to Yale, but Ellis slapped him and told him he was being thick. You don’t give up Yale for your boyfriend of only a year. You just don’t.

Back in the shower, Ellis made an aggravated noise in the back of his throat. During that, er… loud conversation, Ellis may have said a few things he now wished he hadn’t—like how he wouldn’t give up UCLA to be with Jesse in New Haven, so why should Jesse waste his time on someone who wouldn’t waste their time on him?—and Jesse may have said a few things back—like how he wondered why he and Ellis were together so long when obviously Ellis didn’t care about him. Ellis had simply replied, “Well, maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore, then.”

Jesse had nodded once, sharply, and stormed from the room.

This all took place, of course, at the later-busted party. After this fight, Ellis proceeded to get himself completely smashed, which, for obvious reasons, proved not to be a very good idea.

When he finished his shower, he towel-dried his hair, shouted, “Mom? I’m going to bed!” and made his way to his bedroom. His mother did not respond.

In bed, Ellis tossed and turned in a proverbial state of unrest, fueled by the fact that he hadn’t spoken to Jesse since they’d fought. Since Ellis may or may not have broken up with him.

It was maybe two in the morning when he finally felt himself drifting off… only to jump awake again by a deliberate tap at his window. Ellis rubbed his eyes and opened his blinds. “Jesse?” He slid the window open and took down the screen. “What are you… how did you…”

Jesse grinned. “I climbed the trellis.”

“The trellis?”

“Yes, Ellis, the trellis.”

Ellis giggled. “Come in, come in. So why…?”

Jesse climbed through the window and sat himself on Ellis’s bed. He bit his lip. “Well, I figured your mom went psycho after the party—no offense, but that’s just the kind of person your mom is. Anyway… I figured you didn’t really mean it, but when I called for you, she said you couldn’t come to the phone.”

“Wow,” Ellis said. “See, if it were me, I would have thought that it meant that you didn’t want to talk to me ever again.”

Jesse gave a little jerk of his shoulder. “The thought did cross my mind. But you’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Course not.”

“Good. Because I have some news.” He paused. “I love you.”

“Honey, if that’s news to you, you need to fire your reporters.”

Jesse laughed. “That’s not the news. That’s scientific fact. I read it in an encyclopedia.”

Ellis rolled his eyes. “Well, then. The news?”

“Right. Well. I got accepted into UCLA! And before you say anything, I know what you’re thinking, so let me just say that I know you think that UCLA isn’t as good as Yale, or whatever, and maybe it’s not, but dammit, Ell, I don’t care. It’s a very, very good school. Maybe not as high-and-mighty as Yale, but… It doesn’t matter. To me, UCLA is a thousand—a million times better. Because it’s where you’ll be.”

Ellis’s heart did that thing. You know, that you sometimes get when you watch romance movies, or when you see a little boy and his dog or something. You know. It just gets really full and warm, and your chest kind of aches, only it’s in a good way and Ellis said, “I love you, Jess, you know I love you.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?” Jesse asked, his soft smile dropping.

The look on his face now made Ellis’s heart do that other thing. You know. Where it’s like it’s shattered into a million pieces. “Because you should go to Yale, Jess. You’re brilliant, and you deserve to be there. And they’re a great school, and they deserve to have you. Plus, you’re a legacy, aren’t you? How many alumni in your family now?”

“Seven,” Jesse mumbled. “But I don’t care about prestige and legacies. I only care about you.”

“Well, that’s stupid,” Ellis snapped. Jesse flinched, and Ellis felt his heart breaking all over again. “We’re barely eighteen, Jess. You can’t say I’m the only thing that matters. What about school? A career? Money, Jesse. Making a life for yourself.”

“I don’t want a life for myself,” he said stubbornly. “Not if you’re not in it.”

Ellis sighed exasperatedly. “I can be in it, Jess, but I can’t be it. Think, please, and answer me honestly: If I hadn’t been here, would you go to UCLA? Or would you go to Yale?”

“Ellis, that’s not even the—”

“Where would you go if I didn’t exist?”

“Therapy,” he answered. “A mental ward. The suicide hotline. I don’t care if I sound like a desperate, obsessed girl. Without you, I’d be… I’d be smoking pot under the bridge in the park. I’d be painting my nails and going to Marilyn Manson concerts. I’d be… I’d be miserable. I wouldn’t know what to do or where to go or what I wanted. You make me know what I’m doing, Ellis. You give me a direction. Maybe you don’t like it, but I’m going with you to UCLA, whatever you say. Maybe you’ll be mad, but if you really love me, like you say you do, then you’ll accept my decision, and you’ll be proud to have someone in your life that loves you as much as I do. So. There.”

Ellis kissed him hard on the mouth.

When he pulled away, Jesse asked, “What was that?”

Ellis shrugged. “I am proud. And I hope you know that I love you, too. But…”

Jesse sighed. “I told you, Ellis, nothing you say is going to change my mind. Why are you trying to fight this so much? Don’t you want me to be with you?”

“Of course I do.”

“So what’s the problem? You want me to go to a great school, and you want me to be with you. That plan has UCLA written all over it.”

Ellis bit his lip. “It’s just… I… I don’t want my mom to be right.”

This appeared to throw Jesse a little bit. When he had composed himself, he asked Ellis softly, “What does that have anything to do with where I go to college?”

“She thinks we’re going to fall out of love. She thinks we’re going to break up in a few years because while maybe our high school selves were perfect for each other, our adult selves won’t be. So I guess I thought… if we were apart, we wouldn’t break up because we didn’t love each other; we’d break up because it was easier, because it wasn’t right, being together when we were so far apart.”

“That’s…” Ellis watched as Jesse scrambled for the right word to describe this. “Ridiculous. Your mom is ridiculous. You told me yourself: Maybe we won’t be together forever, but at least we’re together now. You were right, not her. And who knows, Ell, maybe we will be together forever. But we won’t know if we don’t try it.”

“When did this start to have morals?” Ellis chuckled. “Okay. Okay. Come to UCLA. Be with me.”

“Is that what you want?” Jesse’s long, dark eyelashes blinked at Ellis, and insecurity showed on Jesse’s face for the first time.

“Yeah,” Ellis said firmly.

Jesse kissed him softly. “Well, that’s good, because I already declined Yale two weeks ago.”

“You what? Jesse!”

Jesse laughed. “I knew I’d get into UCLA. I’m just brilliant like that.”

“Jesus Christ,” Ellis mumbled into Jesse’s shoulder as he hugged his boyfriend tightly.

Jesse kissed Ellis’s forehead. “Okay. Well, we’ve got that all straightened out, so… I guess I’ll head home.”

“Don’t,” Ellis said. “Stay with me. Please?”

“What about your mom?”

“The door’s locked. When she comes to wake me up, I’ll hide you, and she’ll never know. Just—please. Stay with me.”

Jesse nodded slowly, kicking off his shoes and tossing his jacket aside. He slid himself under Ellis’s covers and snuggled up against Ellis’s chest. “I love you,” he whispered.

Ellis laughed quietly. “I love you, too.”

And they may or may not have lived happily ever after. But rest assured that they did live happily now.

A/N: Concludy enough? :P Of course it is. Maybe. Hah. Anyway. Hope you liked, Ell. And I also hope anyone else who read this liked it, too. So. YAY. Review, maybe? If you feel like it? If you have something to say? Even anonymous, I like anonymous reviews. They make me go, YAY RANDOM PEOPLE ARE READING THIS! It’s all good fun.

OMG I just bought the latest COBRA STARSHIP CD! And because Hot Topic is so nice like that, when I bought the CD I got a pretty deal on a t-shirt. Yay! People at Hot Topic always look so scary, but they’re so nice! It’s so funny, ‘cause like, you expect them to be kinda freaky, but they’re the nicest store clerks at the entire mall. Any mall. Way nicer than that Hollister bitch who rolled her eyes at the shirt I was buying… hmph.

Anyway. Review. Maybe. I guess.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLLLAA.