A/N: This chapter more plotty and less funny than rest, hopefully you’ll all like and leave a review. Thanks to those who have!

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I look up as Kate’s finger finds its way into my line of vision, holding down the hang up button on the phone bed. I stare at her in question.

“Phoebe,” Kate says quietly, “I think we need to discuss this before you call anybody.”

I deliberate for a brief second before agreeing. We should decide on the particularities of the upcoming wedding, like the venue. Oscar is wealthy, so we can have it somewhere nice and expensive that will make Stacie even more jealous, like perhaps the French Riviera. Oh yes, that would be nice… “You’re right!” I say, still immersed in a happy bubble of excitement. “So, do you think two months will be too soon to book a place on the Riviera?”

“Er, what?” Kate asks, genuine surprise written across her features as her eyebrows rise. I have always known I have more of a taste for class than Kate, but does she really expect me to have the wedding anywhere in Australia? No. It must be exquisite… glamorous… but not so glamorous so as to diminish my shine. Oh, I will be able to buy the most gorgeous dress!

“For the wedding, of course,” I say. “I hope they do not require a deposit; I don’t have his bank details yet and I certainly can’t afford it myself…”

“Phoebe…” Kate almost moans. “Phoebes, he hasn’t even dumped her yet!”

“What’s your point?” I say, my voice suddenly icy. I don’t care. If she cannot see the truth, well, that’s not my problem.

“I… I’m sorry, but you’re being ridiculous! Oscar Brendan is not going to marry you!”

I sit, shocked into silence. My best friend. Kate, my dearest friend since grade school, who should be supporting me, is now turning around and stabbing me in the back. “You can forget about being the Maid of Honour,” I hiss through clenched teeth. I stand quickly as I feel the telltale burning in the back of my throat, and I know I am going to start bawling if I stay here any longer. I snatch my magazine from Kate’s hand and put the phone back on the countertop with a little more force than is necessary. I feel betrayed. Kate is supposed to be there for me. She is supposed to believe me when I say I love him. Because that is what it is: love.

I close the door to my bedroom softly and sink down to the ground, covering my face with my hands and crying. No sobs shake me; no loud, half cut off bursts of wordless noise come from my throat. I simply let my tears fall in silence, in resignation almost. I know that I can be a little hysterical, I know that I can sound like a high school girl only half way through puberty. But deep down, I know I’m not. My unbridled passion is almost a mask, and I realize this only when my soul has suffered a wound. I hide even from myself. The impulsive passion protects me from the deep, constant love I have for him. I do love him, love him with such heart-wrenching dedication that it is painful. I need him.

X X X X

“Wow, Phoebe. How long have you been here?”

I do not look up from the Pokemon game I have illegally installed on my work computer. I can tell by the smoke that it is Brenda. Who else would it be? I remind myself. I am not important enough to be disturbed by anyone else, nor sexed up enough like Brenda. I’m a virgin still, but God, could I go for some consolation sex right now! “A while, I guess,” I say in answer to her previous question. And it is true: I have been here a while. Roughly six hours, to be exact; six hours sitting in the tiny cubicle Brenda and I share, playing a game designed for ten year old boys. I feel terrible. I have spent nearly half my life chasing a man who neither loves me nor knows me. And this is where it has gotten me. I love him so much… all I want is for him to love me too. Mum always told me and Stacie to follow our dreams, because with determination, we could accomplish anything. And I took that message to heart – I take that message to heart.

I think for a moment. I remember that week Stacie slept on the couch in the apartment I share with Kate. That smart ass sister of mine had already been offered the Billabong job she has today, but she had been chasing a job with Abercrombie & Fitch, over in America. After buying a ticket and selling all her stuff so she could move to New York, it fell through. My overachieving sister had not always been overachieving. I realize that now. Have I put everything on the line? Have I been willing to risk it all? The answer comes to me. I haven’t been willing to put all my worldly comforts on the line for this one gamble. So I have not been determined enough.

Right, Phoebe. Procrastination ends here. Here starts determination.

“Brenda,” I say suddenly, breaking the silence that has fallen between us as Brenda takes a seat.

“Yeah, Phoebe?”

“I think… I think I am going to quit now.”

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A/N: Will Phoebe’s gambit pay off, or will she end up eaten by ninjas? Review to find out.

Seriously. Review. Go. Now. I’m watching. Not in a creepy way, of course.