I know I should “just get over it”…

But they created a persona who I was able to connect with, who I revealed deep personal feelings to, so instead of coming across as a joke, which they thought I should regard it as, it felt like an invasion.

It’s stupid that, even after learning the truth about Jersey, I still wait for him to log-in to messenger. I want to tell him all about this week. Did anybody else see this as real? Couldn’t they play their part for a little while longer and, like in any good book, we could really get to know each other and I could forgive him for all the games he played with me?

Him. The voice on the cell phone. It could’ve been one of three people: Christian Holmes, Cody Morton, or Simon Polke. The guys on webcam with their cheerleader girlfriends. Knowing all of them from school, I have a good laugh. No way in hell would I ever go out with any of them. They might know how to sweet talk, but they aren’t Jerseys. They’re cruel, selfish, and once I log off messenger, I’ll personally wring each of their necks.

No I won’t. It’s pathetic sitting here, lonely, trying to get over the feeling of being invaded. There are things they know that I would’ve never willingly revealed to them. I was deceived. But as the guidance counselor points out, it wasn’t an assault. They hadn’t hurt me any physically and all expressed feelings of remorse. My ass, they did. They were trying to avoid any real or imagined punishment. The school wasn’t getting involved, it hadn’t taken place on school property, so we should’ve just agreed to silently hate each other and move on.

After all, it isn’t like they have any new ammunition against the school fag. And it’s not like by me getting to know Jersey, who was very real and understanding, they knew which subjects made me sore.

“Shit.” I groan into the computer screen. By Monday they will have told their friends. I swear I’m going to change my name and transfer schools.