Good or Bad

I stared up into his cold, vibrant, green eyes. There were so many things about him that I still didn’t know, things that I still didn’t understand, though I already knew of my feelings for him. From the moment he first held me in his arms I knew how I felt and how my future would turn out. I loved him; it was love at first sight, believe it or not. It was true and I knew that better then anyone else could ever even hope to understand. No matter how hard it might be to believe he meant the world to me and I knew that. I understood that and finally, I admitted to myself that it was true.

Ever since I was a little girl I had always promised myself not to fall in love with a man that I didn’t know, but here I was, in love with this man. I had only met him a few weeks ago but already I loved him more then anyone I had ever had feelings for before.

He was the first thing on my mind all the time. He was the first thought and memory inside me when I woke up. The first person I thought of when the phone rang. The first person I could think of when the instant messenger popped up on the screen. He was the single flower popping up through the snow of my world. He was my heaven in a bottle, my hot coco in the snow, the icing on my cake.

My friends and family all told me I was silly. I couldn’t love someone this quickly. I did though, I could tell. I had met a lot of people and dated quite a few guys but no one made me feel the way he did. He made me laugh when I didn’t even want to smile. He made me sing when I didn’t even want to speak. He knew exactly what to say and do to make all the pain just fade away and that’s what I loved most about him.

I swear upon my soul when I say that there is no one else like him. I would rather love him with all that I have and end up hurt in the end, then to have never met him. Someone told me once to never regret something that once made you happy. So even if this does happen to end badly, yes, I know it will hurt for a while, but never will I find these feelings or these memories something to regret. How could I?

How could anyone regret these wonderful feelings, these amazing memories and this happiness that I feel so deep inside. These feelings that are just bubbling to the surface but on my own they linger, falling faint and slowly dying away. When he comes around though, they all spring forth in an instant and overflow, whenever I think about him the happiness and the wondrous feelings of warmth return.

He may just be some pretend, wanna-be prince-charming like my best friend says but maybe I’ve just won in the game of luck. Whatever it is, I’m glad that I met him and I’m glad that I have these memories. I pray that they will never fade away, never give into the darkness in this only human heart. I don’t want to forget these feelings or this man before me. I don’t want to pretend that this all didn’t happen just because I might get hurt. I don’t want to let go of any of this, even if it doesn’t last forever. He’s important to me and I believe that he always will be, no matter how this ends, for the good or the bad.

I love him and I want things to stay that way. I know he feels the same way too, he’s told me and I can see it in his pretty eyes. I can tell by the way he talks and the way he acts that he’s telling me the truth. He’s not lying to me like so many others have before.

They say though that love is blind and maybe it’s true. Maybe I just can’t see his lies because I’m blind but what does it matter? Will a little heart break end my life and even if it does, would giving up these great and happy feelings make it any better? I don’t believe that being miserable or pretending to be happy when you’re all alone will make any of it better, nor will it take away the pain. I would rather go out there and take chances, fall in love, get hurt and always have the memories to bring me happiness.

I would rather fall in love and be hurt a thousand times then to give up even one happy memory or even one wondrous feeling of joy. I don’t want to give up any of that, for any reason. I’m happy this way and I hope that I always will be, no matter what happens along the way.