65, not 35, and I Don't Know Why

I don't quite know
exactly how it happened;
and I can't tell you why.
All I know is that there was an accident
and I can't fix it.

Life was so full of those happy moments
and I guess I should have known better.
I looked down and saw 35
even though everyone says 65.
I look up and scan the horizon.
My glance faulters a few seconds
then
a tree is hurtling towards us.
There was the sickening crush of metal
then air bag.
After that, sight and sound
ceased to exist.
The next picture that came to me
was a rag doll hanging upsidedown.
That is me, but where is he?
Slowly, sound comes back
and he's telling me to get unbuckled,
that I need to get out of the car.
Now.
When I unbuckled,
my leg catches on the steering wheel
and I struggle to break through.

We both climb through the back window
which had gracefully shattered
a door for us.
I stand, am dizzy, but regain composure.
How the hell did this happen?

The truck is flipped upsidedown,
the frame is crushed,
the passenger side is crumpled in,
the tree is tipped, leaning now,
with a piece stuck in the grill.

I almost killed us.
we should have died.
There's not a minute that goes by
that those words don't cross my mind.
My heart is heavy with regret
and my mind is plagued with the knowledge
that I can't remember.
I keep trying, but it gets groggier
and my memory refuses to cooperate.

I can't tell you why or how
any of this happened.
I fucked up
and I can't take it back
and I can't forget it
but I can beg the Gods
that I may live through the aftermath.

This is something that I wrote right after I got into an accident. I totalled a truck that wasn't mine and almost killed me and this other kid. It's still hard to believe that it happened at all, but I was scared shitless and hope that no one else has to go through that experience.