Chapter 10

“I don’t want to go, Mama. Come on, surely you can think of some reason you need me to stay home,” Miranda begged, flopping into the kitchen chair while her mother peeled potatoes.

“I can’t and I certainly will not. Your best friend in the whole wide world invited you over when she was feeling better. She is finally feeling up to having company, and you’re going if I have to drive you myself,” Mama said harshly.

Miranda sulked at the table like her three year old nephew, bottom lip stuck out, her eyes squinting with irritation. Since Chase had rolled into town a week before, Miranda had done everything in her power to stay away from the places he might be. She even skipped church for fear of seeing him there. Deep in her heart she knew she’d have to get over it, and make her way into society like she always did, but in her mind; this whole situation required baby steps, and going to dinner at his sister’s house seemed like an awful big leap to her.

When Brian had stopped by earlier that day, inviting Miranda over for supper and a visit, she couldn’t find the words to tell him no. He looked so proud, standing there talking about the daughter that had captured his whole heart in three short weeks. She also couldn’t find a way to ask if Chase would be in attendance. Somehow it might be easier to send her regrets now, claiming she had forgotten a promise to someone like her mother.

Mama started speaking again, “You’re lucky I didn’t pull you to church on Sunday. You’ve had your time to become accustomed to life with Chase Walker back in town, but I will not let you become a hermit, Miranda Jo Carmichael.” She paused. “And don’t even think of going to your sisters and begging for the same thing, because I guarantee they’ll have the same answer for you.”

“Yes, Mama,” Miranda sighed, realizing that she’d have to go to Cassandra’s, and if she was going to go, she’d have to leave soon. Anxiety churned in her stomach as she thought about what she could be faced with when she arrived at Cassandra’s small cabin.

“Now, why don’t you go get your jacket on and head over right now. That way you’ll get to spend a little time with the baby before dinner. Besides, you might be getting yourself all worked up over nothing. Chase has a good number of friends in this town and he could be spending the evening with any one of them, especially for being gone as long as he was,” Mama added.

Mama’s last statement made Miranda feel much better about the evening. Maybe Chase wouldn’t be there. He probably wasn’t even staying with Cassandra. After all, he had come into town with all of those men who looked and smelled like cowboys. They probably settled themselves outside of town a bit and were sleeping under the sky with a campfire to keep them warm. The more she considered the possibility, the more plausible it became.

Miranda got out of her chair, kissed her mother on the cheek and swept out of the kitchen. Her coat was hanging beside the door and she quickly threw her arms into it, now determined to make the best of her visit. Tucker was tied up out front and she freed him before throwing herself up into the saddle. She considered taking the wagon, but Brian would no doubt offer to bring her home, seeing as it would be after dark when she would be ready to head home. As Tucker’s hooves beat steadily on the dry ground, she felt better still about her afternoon and evening with Cass.

“Miranda!” Cassandra squealed, coming out of her house with the baby in her arms and onto the porch before Miranda had even managed to get off of Tucker. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been wanting to see you for days! I couldn’t talk Brian into believing I was well enough for visitors.”

Miranda felt badly for thinking about cancelling. Her friend was so excited to see her; she was glad Mama had forced her to come. “Well thank you for inviting me. I thought you were going to try to keep this little angel all to yourselves!”

Miranda stepped up onto the porch and reached out for the little girl who was cradled securely in her mother’s arms. Cassandra gave her up willingly, and watched as Miranda cooed at the baby that was nestled in her arms.

“Ah, I’m so glad to be free of her!” Cass exclaimed, bustling back into the house. When she realized what she said, she spun back around a hand pressed up against her wide open mouth. “I didn’t mean that! Gosh, you must think I’m a horrible mother! I just meant that she gets heavy after carrying her around for a while, and she didn’t want anything to do with her crib earlier.”

Miranda burst into laughter and after a moment of uncertainty, Cass followed suit. Miranda continued into the house and settled herself in one of the kitchen chairs, still finding it hard to tear her eyes away from the baby. “So how are you feeling? Besides your sore arms that is?” Miranda asked.

“Oh, I’m just wonderful! First, I feel just about as light as a feather. I know I’m not back down to the size I was before I was pregnant, but I certainly don’t have the watermelon sized bulge out the front of my dress,” she said, quickly twirling for Miranda to inspect her figure. “It’s positively exquisite to be able to push myself all the way up to a table; I never thought I’d see that day come again. Then, there’s Meg. Isn’t she just the sweetest baby you’ve ever seen?” From the way Cassandra rattled on, it was obvious to Miranda that she’d stored up an awful lot of conversation over the two weeks she’d been home alone.

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, my nieces and nephews certainly give her some competition, but she is most definitely one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen.”

“And then there’s Chase being home! Oh, Miranda, it’s like a dream come true. When Brian opened the door and I saw him standing on my porch I near about dropped Meg. I was so surprised to see him; never in all my life did I think he’d come back. From all of his letters, it seemed like he was so happy exploring the west. He said he couldn’t stand knowing he had a niece and never get to see her. Then he told me while he was riding back, he started remembering things about this place, and he got to missing it. I know it’s too soon to hope, but he’s made mention that he’s seriously considering settling down here! Can you imagine! It will be just like it used to be, the three of us, all in the same town.”

“It will hardly be the same,” Miranda huffed, keeping her eyes on the baby.

“What?” Cass inquired, confused.

Miranda remembered where she was, and who she was talking to and quickly changed her attitude. “Well, Cass, you can’t expect to go back to the way things were when we were in school. The most obvious change is that you’re married and have a daughter. We can’t spend our nights in your bedroom giggling till the sun comes up with Chase interrupting our most secret conversations. And then there’s Chase, he can’t possibly be the same as when he left here six years ago, not after all he’s seen and done! Though I guess I’m the same through and through; not much has happened to change that.”

Cassandra swatted at her playfully, “You’ve changed, Randi, even if you don’t realize it. Let’s see, you wake up early of your own accord, which certainly didn’t happen when you were sixteen. Then there’s all of your nieces and nephews; I’m sure you’ve gotten more responsible because of them. But I suppose in a way you’re right. There are some absolutely wonderful things about being married and having a child, but I miss being a kid sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Miranda thought, still feeling more like a sixteen year old than someone who was twenty-two.

Cassandra continued to talk about Chase while Miranda held baby Meg. It was hard to listen to all of the wonderful things her friend was saying about the man who she was trying to desperately forget, but she knew that Cassandra needed someone to talk to. Cassandra probably wanted someone to listen as well, but Miranda wasn’t willing to do that. Instead, Miranda focused her attention on Meg, who was gurgling and smiling in her arms.

“Brian and Chase should be back soon; I guess I should get started on dinner,” Cassandra said abruptly.

Miranda shook her head, trying to decide if she had heard correctly, “Brian and Chase?”

“Yeah, Chase is helping Brian with some of the horses. My brother has gone and gotten himself a lot of talents,” Cassandra said proudly. “He insisted on helping Brian in exchange for staying with us. For some reason, he can’t just let his baby sister take care of him until he gets himself settled here.”

Miranda realized that she probably should have been listening as Cassandra prattled on with pride about her brother. Chase was staying here, and he would be joining them for dinner. Miranda volunteered to help with anything she could get her hands on, hoping that keeping busy would help to settle her nerves and calm her thoughts. She chopped onions, peeled potatoes, kneaded dough and set the table. On top of all the things she had done in the kitchen, she volunteered to change Meg and settle her in the cradle for a bit of a nap.

It was while she was in the parlor, tucking a sleeping Meg in that she heard the door squeal open followed by the heavy footfalls of two people far larger than herself. Deciding that Meg needed a bit of a rock, she knelt down beside the cradle and pushed it gently. She wasn’t given the opportunity to linger as Cassandra’s voice floated through the house announcing the arrival of her husband and brother, calling Miranda to the kitchen.

“Oh baby girl, I pray you never find yourself in this kind of awkward situation,” she whispered, kissing the tips of her fingers and brushing them against Meg’s forehead before she rose to her feet. She brushed her skirt down, making sure she looked perfectly presentable. After all, just because she needed to forget about Chase didn’t mean he needed to forget about her. Part of her wanted him to sit across from her at the dinner table and wonder why he had never asked to court her. Not that Chase would have thoughts even close to those, but it might make her feel a bit better if he did. Dragging her feet, she forced herself toward the kitchen.

When she entered the small room, all of the breath left her lungs without her permission. Chase stood in the kitchen and stole her attention immediately. He was wearing a clean set of clothes that clung to the muscles that he had obviously developed throughout his adventures. He seemed even taller than she remembered, towering over Cassandra who looked up at him with love and admiration. His face was washed and he was clean shaven, showing off a lightly tanned face which made his eyes even more brilliant. Whether or not she had been right about him needing a hair cut, she didn’t know, but the style his blonde locks were currently cut into was perfect, with strands sweeping across his forehead. Somehow in all the time she wasted thinking about Chase, and in all of the memories that replayed in her minds, she hadn’t remembered him being so handsome.

“Hi, Miss Carmichael,” Chase smiled, looking at her like she was the only person in the room. “I have to admit I was looking forward to this all day. Brian told me you were coming while we were out with the horses.”

“Miss Carmichael?” Cassandra said quickly, scrunching her face at the formality expressed by her brother.

Miranda suddenly felt her cheeks grow hot, remembering how she had asked Chase to call her by her surname. Of course Cassandra would find such a request ridiculous, especially after the close friendship Miranda and Chase had always shared. Cassandra also had no idea about the feelings Miranda had been harboring for Chase over the years.

“I’m sorry, Chase, of course you should call me Miranda. I suppose I just feel as though I’ve grown out of my nickname, but forgot that you could address me by my given name.” She giggled, playing it off as an oversight. “After all you were the last person I expected to see walk into the mercantile.”

Chase let a roar of laughter rip out of his throat, which made Miranda feel like the crickets, which had supposedly defined her when she was younger, were jumping around in her stomach. “I bet it was a surprise. You were my first visit, you know.”

Miranda wanted to scream at his admission. Even if she had been his first visit, why did he feel the need to inform her of that truth? He had been gone for six years and after being home for a week was already confusing her as much as he had done when he lived in town. “The mercantile is most people’s first visit in town. Although, I think it was obvious that your first visit should have been the bath house.”

Chase, Cassandra and Brian burst into laughter at her comment. Miranda faked a giggle, but due to her discomfort, she couldn’t offer anything more than that. When the laughter died down, Cassandra steered everyone to the table. Miranda was seated across from Chase; she wasn’t sure if it would have been better or worse if she was beside him. She trained her eyes on her plate, and looked up when she thought it was safe, or only allowed her eyes to land on Cassandra or Brian.

Her friends and Chase talked as if no time passed at all. Chase told stories from the trail and had captivated Brian and Cassandra’s attention. Miranda couldn’t manage to focus her attention on most of what he was saying. After the stories, they began to weave their way through the memories that had made up all four of their childhoods. Cassandra did her best to pull Miranda into their conversation, but she was unable to get comfortable in Chase’s presence.

Knowing she couldn’t leave until after dessert was served, Miranda felt stuck. She knew Cassandra would be upset if she begged an excuse, and also knew that meant Brian had to drive her home. Finally, after a delicious apple pie and coffee, Miranda pushed out a fake yawn and expressed her desire to get home. Much to her dismay, Chase rose with her request.

“If you don’t mind, Cass, I’d like to take Miranda home.”

“Of course!” Cassandra said with exuberance. “You two haven’t had a chance to talk all night, what with me and Brian chattering away. I bet you haven’t even run into each other to catch up. Brian is the wagon out front?”

“Yes, I left it out knowing I would have to take Miranda. Chase, you know how to rig it up right?” Brian asked, drawing his attention away from Meg for a moment.

“Sure do. Miranda, give me five minutes to get things set up and Tucker tied to the side, then meet me out front and we’ll get going.” Chase didn’t even wait for her comment, grabbing his hat from the peg then ducking to exit the cabin.

Miranda wanted to cry in frustration over her horrible luck. All evening she had been trying to get away from Chase, avoid his conversation, keep her mind away from thoughts of him. Such efforts had taken most of her energy and she realized that she was probably less than sociable tonight. Now, despite all that she had done to keep herself safe from the confusion that had always surrounded Chase, she had to spend twenty minutes with him, alone, in a wagon.