Chapter 10, Cora's POV
Song: Run by Snow Patrol

I woke up not knowing where I was. The sun was in a different place from where it usually was in my bedroom. That's when I panicked; he'd found me and was holding me hostage. And when Danny rolled over and sleepily slung his arm across my stomach, I jumped out of bed with a squeak to mask the scream that threatened to follow it.

"You okay?" he mumbled, face in the pillow.

I was breathing hard, heart racing. Then the embarrassment flooded in. There was Danny, his messy, college-boy bedroom, his guitar propped up in the corner next to a stack of psychology books.

"Yes. Sorry," I whispered, crawling back into bed. Awake now, he pulled me into his arms and gently stroked my hair; I could feel his calloused fingertips.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"About seven. I need to drop by Macy's to pick up my suitcase and stuff."

"Sure," he said, already drifting off again.

I ran my hand down his chest and teased his lower stomach with my fingertips to insure he'd stay awake. He shuddered and smiled, opening one eye.

"I guess this means you want me up."

"Oh I want you up," I whispered seductively, "In every way."

He peeked under the covers. "Well I think you've got your wish."

I laughed, but I didn't dare touch him there. Some places made him more vulnerable to the flashes, he'd told me. Sensitive places, like his neck and back, and I could only assume. . . the most sensitive place of all. Besides, I respected him too much. I'd spent my childhood being touched in places where no one should have touched me, when I didn't want it, when I was too young to understand; I knew what it felt like to have someone violate you. And even though I was sure he wouldn't have seen it like that, I wanted to have his permission anyway.

"So, Macy's and Graham's. I need a shower. You?" he asked.

"No. I showered last night so I could sleep in today."

"Should have thought of that," he said, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side with a yawn.

I watched him leave, and a few seconds later I heard the shower starting up, the bathroom door closing with a soft click. I flopped back on the bed for a few minutes but couldn't fall back to sleep, still a little shaky after waking up in a place I didn't recognize.

I checked to make sure the shower was still running, then got up and started to look around. I didn't open drawers; I wasn't that much of a sneak. But Danny was still a mystery, I had to know something. I gently touched the guitar he loved so much and ran a finger down the cracked spines of all his books. The first one I opened was full of marks, highlights, and notes. I didn't understand half of it. Danny was smart, much smarter than he knew, and I knew he'd go places. Whether or not I'd go with him was still a mystery. I regretted not going to college; all I had was the band. Would we really be doing this when we were fifty? I doubted it, and I couldn't ask Danny to hang around this town for me, mostly because I knew he would. Sighing, I put the book back.

There was his new laptop, displayed proudly on his desk, a stack of papers next to it. I picked up the stack and began to thumb through it. It was a research paper, already at least fifteen pages in length, about pain. His outline was at the bottom. He was only halfway through, and he planned to interview doctors and psychologists about brain activity as it relates to emotional and physical pain. I began to read.

"The human brain is the most powerful organism on earth. It is capable of activity we know nothing about. Many people have argued whether or not there is a sixth sense. I'll take their arguments further and ask if there are many more senses than six. Why shouldn't there be? Our current knowledge of the human brain is so limited, and there is so much we don't know, it is foolish not to ask these questions. The study of Psychology is a young field of science, introduced by-"

"Whatcha doin'?" Danny asked, walking back in, hair wet and hanging in his face, shirt off, sweatpants on.

"Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. I just saw this and-"

He smiled, shaking his hair out of his eyes and reaching for a t-shirt; I shuddered, he was so incredibly sexy and didn't know it. I wanted to drink the water off his skin.

"It's cool. It's not done. A rough draft. Very rough."

"What class is it for?" I asked, forcing myself to look away from him as I had done the night before.

"Not for a class," he shrugged, "For me. When I'm finished, really finished, I'll send it into a Psychology journal and see if they might publish it. I've got some pretty crazy theories, so I doubt it but. . . maybe."

I smiled. "You're all the evidence you need, you know, that there's more to the brain than we know."

"I don't believe in the paranormal or the supernatural. Science has an explanation, I've just got to find out what it is," he said, voice muffled as he pulled on the shirt he'd been holding.

I put the research paper on the desk where I'd found it and sat down on the bed, my back to him. Like the human brain, there was so much of Danny I didn't know. I wished I could see into him like he saw into me. I wished I could see his fear, his pain. He was so wrapped up in the emotions of others, it was as if he'd forgotten how to feel for himself.

A few minutes later, I felt him tug my hair and kiss my neck, and I let myself revel in the feeling.

"You're all wet," I smiled.

He playfully threw his towel over my head and laughed as I yanked it off. "Now you are too," he grinned, then we both blushed at the way it sounded.

"All ready?" he said, clearing his throat to chase away the awkward moment.

“When you are,” I said.

Danny packed up his laptop, we said goodbye to his dad, and we were gone. Once we got to Macy's, I told Danny he could wait in the car. It wasn't that I'd miss this place, just that I needed to be alone for a few minutes in my bedroom, the bedroom I wouldn't see for a month. Besides, there is something personal about a bedroom that makes you want to protect it from people you’re falling in love with. At least, that’s how it was for me. I didn’t want Danny to know that I threw my dirty clothes on the floor or that the only book on my bookshelf was called, “101 Great Quickies”- a gag gift from Macy for my birthday.

Macy was home but still asleep with Josh in her room. Jay was sitting on the couch like he owned the place, eating my Cinnamon Toast Crunch, no less.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Wanted to see you before you went on your big rockstar tour."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm seeing Danny now. I'm through with you."

"You're never through with me," he smiled, "You know that."

"No, I really am," I said, heading back to my bedroom. He followed me and watched as I zipped my suitcase.

"He's just gonna use you, ya know. Get into your pants and dump you," Jay said.

"Than he'd be treating me better than you have," I said, rolling my eyes. I picked up my suitcase, grabbed my iPod, and turned to leave, but Jay stopped me, holding my arms.

"Let go, or I kick you in the balls," I said harshly.

He smirked. "Cora, you're such a bitch. Why can't you just be nice? All I want is a kiss before you go."

"I'm with Danny. No more kisses, no more one-night-stands. Nothing."

Jay's eyes darkened; I could tell I was pissing him off, but he needed to hear the truth. For too long, I'd let him hang around in my life even though I knew he was bad for me.

"Does he know what a slut you are? Have you told him about all the guys you've fucked? How you started when you were a kid?"

"Don't," I said warningly, "Don't bring that up."

"Hey, maybe he's into that. Little kid sex. Maybe it turns him on."

"Fuck you," I snapped.

"Gladly," he smirked, his hand pressing into my crotch. I raised my knee and kicked him right where I knew it would hurt most. He gasped and backed up against the wall. I guess all those self-defense classes came in handy after all.

"Crazy bitch," he snarled.

"I warned you," I said, and I pushed past him, fighting back the tears in my eyes.

What had made me tell him? On a particularly emotional, PMS-y night, I had admitted that Saul, my then-stepfather, had sold me to his friends. It started when I was five. They weren't allowed to have sex with me. No, that was Saul's territory. They could just touch me, make me touch them, make me do whatever they wanted for a hundred bucks an hour. That was it. He made a killing off of selling me, right under my mom's nose. He didn't care. That's when I started hating the world. That's when I stopped trusting men.

I swiped at the tears in my eyes as I wrote Macy a shaky note, then got out of there, hoping I looked okay enough for Danny not to notice, then remembering that he could see my emotions anyway.

"Cora," he said softly, "You okay?"

"No," I admitted, because I knew he could see it, red and churning in my stomach. And suddenly I was pissed at him too, just for being a man, one who could see right through me, one I was falling in love with no matter how hard I fought it. "But please don't ask me about it."

He nodded, and he pulled the car onto the road; I knew he'd been able to sense my frustration with him, and that filled me with guilt, but how could I begin to explain what had happened?

At Graham's, we all drove in one car over to the Andromeda Ballroom, where the bus was waiting. I was surprised to see that the guys from Drowning Beauty were there; I'd figured we'd just meet up with them at our first show.

I shivered in the cold, still pissed about Jay, watching the band. There was a tall, skinny guy who I recognized as the lead singer. He wore jeans and a black t-shirt, and his arms were covered in tattoos.

"Adam," he said, shaking my hand and smiling.

"I'm Cora," I said.

"I know. I saw your picture. I never forget a pretty face."

I blushed, and Danny pushed himself over and stuck out his hand in between us.

"Hi, I'm Cora's boyfriend. Danny," he said flatly.

I almost chuckled at his obvious jealousy and protectiveness, but held it back. Adam grinned and shook his hand.

"Hey. Guitarist right?"

"Yeah."

"This is my wife, Allie, and our son Reese," Adam said, holding out his arm to a pretty young woman with a toddler on her hip.

"Hey," she smiled, and I felt Danny relax beside me.

Allie had brown hair and blue eyes. She was about five months pregnant; you could see it through her sweatshirt, and the toddler on her hip couldn't have been more than two years old. I imagined she was tired, but her smile was the sunniest smile I’d ever seen, and her cheeks were pink from the cold. Reese sucked on his finger, then reached for my necklace, his little arm like an octopus tentacle. I stepped back against the bus and Allie laughed.

"He likes shiny stuff. Gets that from his daddy."

I smiled uncomfortably. I knew nothing about kids, except that I'd been one once, and not for very long either.

We met the rest of the guys: Chris, guitarist, Scott, guitarist, Antonio, drummer, Matt, bassist. The meet and greet lasted less than ten minutes before we loaded our stuff into the bottom of the bus.

"I thought we were getting our own bus," Andrew mumbled beside me, dragging his huge duffel bag, bigger than mine or Allie's. How much stuff could a guy who wears the same jeans for weeks at a time really need?

"Stop complaining. This thing's got a tv in it. They probably would have given us a crappy van. We're just the opener."

Andrew shrugged. "Well I hope there's beds for all of us, because I am not sleeping with a dude."

I rolled my eyes.

"There are," Adam said from behind us, grinning as he tossed a bag into the bottom. "Lots of beds. But you're free to sleep with whoever you want to. Chris likes company."

Andrew blushed. "I-"

"We ready?" someone asked, and Adam went over to talk to the bus driver.

Allie stood beside us, Reese on her hip, his little chubby cheeks pink in the cold December air.

"How old are you guys?" she asked.

"We're all nineteen except Graham. He's twenty."

She smiled. "Wow, you guys are babies huh? Your first tour?"

"Yep," I said, "How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-five. Adam is twenty-six, and the rest of the guys are anywhere from twenty-three to thirty."

"So we really are the babies."

"Don't worry. We'll go easy on you," she smiled.

Just then someone called to load up, and we all got onto the bus, Danny behind me with one careful hand on my back. There was more than a tv. There was a refrigerator, a couch, and a stereo, and in the back were the beds, kind of like bunk beds except they hung off the wall instead of being stacked on poles. I climbed up into the top one and felt in my purse for my iPod. Danny was below me.

"You ready?" he asked, peeking over.

"I hope so," I smiled.

"Mind if I come up?"

"If you can manage it," I said, scooting back against the pillows as he climbed up onto my small bed.

We sat cross-legged in the tiny, cramped space, our heads together, looking down at my iPod. I chose Snow Patrol because I needed something mellow. Danny laid down next to me and pulled out a book: Brave New World. I'd never heard of it.

"You're kidding," he said, when I told him this. By now the bus was moving; I could hear voices, footsteps, and the hum of the road over the music in my headphones.

"Nope," I said.

"It's famous. It's kinda like 1984, but a little more sinister, I think."

What was 1984? I was way too embarrassed to ask.

"Did you decide to be smart or were you born that way?" I asked, and Danny smirked, never looking up from his book.

"I'm not smart."

"Yes, you are," I said adamantly.

"I guess that smart means growing up without friends, then. Because all I did during my childhood was read. I realized I liked it. End of story."

"Is that really the end?"

He looked up. "Meaning?"

"Of your story. Is that really the end of your story?"

Danny smiled and folded a piece of the page he was reading to mark his place. "Maybe I don't know my own story. Maybe I just know everyone else's."

I smiled and snuggled into his arms as Run played in my headphones. "Maybe we're writing it," I said.

-

Our first stop that night was in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We drove straight through, not stopping once, and it took three hours to get there. Finally outside the bus, we stretched our legs, yawned, shook ourselves awake while they checked us into a hotel, the nicest hotel I'd ever seen, but Adam said it wasn't as nice as the one they'd originally planned; somehow it had been leaked that they were staying there, and a line of fans was already waiting outside.

"I don't know about you, but I wanna sleep tonight, at some point" he'd said.

"Agreed," I replied, taking my room key from him. The guys would stay in another room adjacent to mine, but I’d wanted some privacy and forked over the extra cash for it.

When I saw the venue, which was just down the street, I felt my stomach clench. It was bigger than anywhere we'd ever played. No smoky bar this time, no sleepy club full of a crowd of people we all knew. We were really here.

Drowning Beauty had a sound check first, and the guys and I found a Taco Bell down the street and walked there to kill time. As we ate, no one said anything. I could tell we were all nervous, second-guessing ourselves. Had this really been the best idea?

"Look, we're the opener. No one even cares if we screw up," Graham finally said.

"Well I care!" Andrew snapped.

"Agreed," Danny and I said at the same time.

"This is our chance to really make it," I said.

"So we'll do our best," Graham shrugged.

"I hope it's good enough," Andrew mumbled, swirling the ice cubes in his Sprite with a straw.

I wished I could say something more, be the fearless leader. But I was afraid too. We all were. And our only leader was the music.

-

When I walked onstage and saw the crowd that night, the first thought that came to me was that we were screwed. The second was that I couldn't see Saul, even if he was here. That calmed me down. I looked over at Danny, who smiled, then back at Andrew and Graham, who looked like deer in the headlights, but still smiled shakily back at me anyway. I wished I could give them some signal that we were all going to be fine, but flinging my hands around probably wasn't the best idea right now.

Control. That's what I needed. Control over my emotions, my voice, my body, and the crowd. Everything else came second. I touched my hair for the last time; it was still stiff with hairspray. I'd tossed it on top of my head in a wild, Tim-Burton-don't-care 'do, and what was left hanging down, I braided. I wore the corset I'd worn at the Halloween show, mostly for good luck; that had been the first time we'd ever played together. Dark makeup encircled my eyes, but I hadn't used much, knowing I'd sweat it off. I looked over at Danny; he wore the same thing he always wore: a white collared shirt, unbuttoned, t-shirt underneath, ripped jeans, and that leather bracelet with all the initials.

He smiled at me and mouthed, "You'll be fine." At least, that's what I assumed he said. I thought it could have been you'll be mine, but maybe that was wishful thinking on my part.

I took a swig of water out of the bottle at my feet and addressed the crowd.

"How's everyone doin'?" The roar that followed shook the stage. I felt so small, like David facing Goliath. They could smell fear, smell nervousness; I had to pretend I was as powerful as they thought I was.

"You ready for Drowning Beauty?" Another roar, this one louder. I laughed into the microphone, the sound echoing off the walls and coming back to me after a few seconds.

"Well first you have to sit through us!" More cheers, stage vibrating. Danny hit a cord, either on purpose or by accident, and screams erupted from the black mass in front of us, illuminated only by the secondhand light of the spotlights on our faces. It was hard to see them; all I could see was a mass of black, like the ocean at night.

"We're The Waning! Now get out of your seats, get as loud as you can, and MOVE!" I shouted, and the massive crowd cheered, roared, and screamed. I could see a cloud of cigarette smoke and pot smoke floating above the rolling ocean of bodies, like fog on the real ocean. Danny hit the first cord, and I leaned in, closed my eyes, and lost myself in it.

Our short set went better than any we'd ever played. I directed the crowd to our merch table, then we went backstage, breathing hard, electrified.

"That was awesome! Great job!" I said excitedly.

Danny pulled me into his arms and kissed me in front of Graham and Andrew, something he'd never done.

"You killed it, baby!" he grinned.

I was shaking with adrenaline, the night and the music and the sound pulsing through my veins. Drowning Beauty took the stage, and we danced in the background, laughing, still high off our own fear.

"Tonight, we're going to the after party!" I grinned.

A/N: I have decided to go back to the Friday updates I used to do (updating every Friday). This gives my writing more of a schedule and helps me to really prepare a chapter before I just throw it out there. Also, I like when a writer is consistent in updating and I'm sure you do too. That being said, see you next Friday!

another simile: Aw, thank you!
Emerald123: Yep :)
AOK: A lot of stuff is going to happen during this tour, not all of it good, but not all of it bad either :)
HideAndGoSeek: Danny is getting used to Cora's pain. He thinks he's blocking it out, but in reality he's just bringing it into himself, which makes it less painful to touch her but worse for him in the long run. Of course, he doesn't fully realize that yet :)
Kjersti: Lol, oh blindfolds are always romantic! In a sexy kind of way. lol. If my husband gave me one, at first I'd be confused, then I'd jump all over him. haha.
CallaLilly: Dont' forget about Snow Owl! It's not done! :)
San123: Thanks!