Short story on how James and Cameron broke up. Kind of sad. But it had to happen. I mostly wrote it for the sake of TISOBT— and a little bit for The New Story That Might Not Ever Be Posted, also known as Changing The World—but I felt like posting it, so here. Yeah. It’s not really necessary to have read The Inexplicable State, but just so you know, that’s the universe from whence these characters hail. So. Enjoy. Warning: Eww, het!sex ! Non-graphic.

“Alexa, I—” James’s head lowers, and I see his eyes clench shut. “I have a boyfriend, I can’t be…”

I smirk. I’m not a ‘ho, I swear, it’s just… people who play hard-to-get are obnoxious; people who are hard to get turn me on. “I’m not asking you to go steady, Owens.”

“But still. Cameron—I really like this guy, Alexa, I don’t…”

“But you want me. I can see it. Maybe you’re bisexual-leaning-toward-gay, but you’d take me to bed in five seconds if you didn’t have a boyfriend.”

James swallows. And I know I’ve hit my mark. “Alexa…”

“If it makes you feel any better… you can break up with him first. Long-distance relationships never work out anyway. Just let him go, okay? He’ll be better off without you, anyway, off in California with his California boys.”

James’s jaw is shaking—fear? Anger? Maybe a mixture of both, because he knows I’m right.

“Call him,” I say. “Tell him it’s not working out. Tell him you’re doing this because you care about him—because whether he acknowledges the break-up or not, you’re going to fuck me. And you’d rather things be over with him before you do that, because the last thing you want to do is hurt him. You don’t want to hurt him, do you, James?”

“But it will hurt him,” James mumbles. “It will.”

“Which hurts more, James? Having a boyfriend that breaks up with you because he wants someone else, or having a boyfriend that leads you on, and cheats on you, and lies to you, because he wants someone else?”

I can see that I’ve already won him over. “Gimme my pants back, Lex.” I release his beltloops from my fingertips, and he digs in his pocket for his phone. “Keep quiet,” he tells me. But I think he knows that I’m not going to; I’m a bitch. He knows it. He puts the phone to his ear. “Hey, Cam. No. Yeah, I’m sorry I haven’t called in awhile, it’s just—no, it’s nice to hear from you, too, I—Cam…” James’s hands are shaking, and I kind of get the feeling that maybe I’m not actually heartless, because I reach out to touch his hands comfortingly. Breakups are shit, I know. Even though I’m not normally in one—I’m usually the cause of one. “Listen. I… I think we should… um…” he pauses, and I hear Cameron sigh on the other end of the phone. He says something I can’t discern, and a tear runs down James’s cheek. In an uncharacteristic show of sympathy, I wipe it away and whisper, “It’s okay.”

“Yeah,” James says to Cameron. “I know. I’m sorry, too.” A pause, while Cameron speaks. “No, I—it’s just it’s—”

And this is when I decide that I’ve been nice enough for one day. “James,” I whine loudly. “Hurry up.”

James looks at me uncomprehendingly, like he can’t believe I just did this. Aren’t I supposed to like him? But no. I fix him with a smirk. He has to understand what he’s getting into: Me. “No,” he assures Cameron. “Cam, I swear, we haven’t done anything. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Cameron says something, and another tear escapes James’s green, green eyes. I’m beginning to think that this kid’s more of a baby than he let on, or maybe he just has tear duct issues.

Maybe he actually really likes this guy.

“Thanks.” James gives a watery chuckle. “No, I—I won’t forget you, either. Bye, Cam.” He clicks the red button and lets his hand drop from his ear. He stares at it for a moment, as though he can’t quite comprehend what he’s just done. “I love you,” he mumbles to Cameron, a thousand miles away.

I feel a pang in the place I hear hearts are supposed to be—but obviously, I just don’t have one. “You made the right choice, James. It was hard on you, being away from him. It was probably hard on him, too. Now you have a chance to get some space, get over each other.”

James bites his lip. “Yeah. Maybe. Now.” He turns his heavily made-up gaze on me. “What was it I came here for?”

“Goddammit, James, just fuck me already.” It’s not like me to beg. But something about James just makes me different than how I should be.

He fucks me against the wall of my daddy’s kitchen. And the whole time, I know he’s not thinking about me; he’s thinking about Cameron. Not in like an I-wish-I-was-fucking-Cameron-instead-of-Alexa kind of way… but in an I-understand-the-fact-that-I’m-fucking-Alexa-I-just-kind-of-don’t-know-if-she’s-worth-breaking-up-with-Cameron kind of way.

And I think that maybe, if I had a heart and all, it might actually have hurt.