The Mac book wheel. The future of laptop computers!

By Robert w Kingett.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Authors note. Someone emailed me and said “hey Robert. Your rants are so awesome! Have you ever thought about doing news articles? You should try it. I think you will be good at them, so I'm doing it now. Hope you all enjoy

The hype today in the tech world is apples new revolutionary laptop, the Mac book wheel which actually does away with the keyboard. The thing just came out yesterday when apples chief designer thought of a brainless idea while he was eating cow droppings.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on one of these babies, and oh boy, typing truly is a thing of the past with this new wheel. As well as other computer features.

The sleek looking attractive white wheel makes it a heck of a lot easier to type to someone when sending an email message or an instant message. The laptop, which has a new battery called the powered optical stimulant, or, POS, can actually run for a maximum number of nineteen minutes before needing to charge again. When asked about this, apples CEO commented.

“Well, we wanted to pack the thing with so much software, that we kind of acted like a kid with a bad case of short term memory, and we forgot about the battery.”

This long lasting battery life has nothing in terms of the wheel that replaced the keyboard. Here's what some users had to say.

“I like it, because instead of just typing a letter, I have to scroll to the letter, and if I want to make it capital, well, it's easy! I just have to go in a menu, go in another menu, and try to get the curser on the exact selection in the menu, tap twice, then hold it, then spin the wheel counter clockwise. That's so much easier than just pressing shift, and then the letter after all.”

When commented on this the apples design team gave me a great explanation.

“Our users like things easy to use, and what could be easier than having a big, white button. We strive to give people features we haven't even thought about, or they don’t even know they want yet.”

I had an awesome time typing on the Mac wheel, and its intuitive interactive interface brings just the right confusion I needed when using it. Almost all my hair was pulled out after about two minutes of using it. I even loved it so much I sold it on eBay for free.

“I'll buy anything that's shiny and made by apple.” An apple fan gushed one afternoon. When using the Mac wheel it was a snap to browse the hard drive. All you have to do is tap the wheel once, and you have an alphabetical listing of every software, hardware, games, internet browsers, and graphics right there on the screen.

Email is a snap. Instead of taking a few minutes to type out an email, you get to be sending one message for a whole hour. You can also have the paragraph predictor predict millions of paragraphs you will never use. Most people like it because it says “sent by the Mac wheel.” At the bottom of the message, even though no one cares.

The Mac wheel can literally do everything, and speed is the most talked about feature in this new laptop. Because it literally does everything in the world, and isn’t like any other laptop out there that does the exact same thing, it has a slow start up rate. It takes about three hours to start up. People however still like it's whiteness, despite the fact their desktops can do the exact same thing.

But there's even more good news! The Mac book is quite sturdy and cannot be broken unless looked at, touched, dropped, talked about, hit, or turned on incorrectly.

Next year apple plans to make a stripped down version of the Mac book with no hard drive, shorter battery life, and no display.

Even though apple still hasn’t fixed the thousand or so bugs in the Mac wheel, many people are pre ordering it already!

“I will buy anything by apple because I just love apple, even though I don't know anything about the company, or that their software sucks.” One fan commented.

With the price of $5,665,000.99 this new laptop will surely knock the IPhone out of the park. This is a must buy for all you people with no common sense. The Mac wheel will be released in Japan in about twenty two years and people will buy it no matter if it's stupid or not.