18 Roses

He gave her 18 roses on her birthday -

How it hurts my entire being to hear it!

18 roses,

For her,

The girlfriend of the guy,

Who for too long, I yearned for,

The apple of my eye.

I longed for him – oh how I longed! –

Dreaming, in his arms I would lie,

He’d say, “I love you”, and more.

I dared – yes, I dared – to dream of him looking at me,

His eyes sparkling with passion,

Like mine did,

For his masculinity,

His laugh,

His coarse voice,

His blue eyes, the very sparkling crisp blue of day.

But those dreams shattered,

Like crystal glass dropped onto

The hard, cold, still ground,

When I heard him say the word “girlfriend”.

Then, only my broken heart was found.

My aspirations were not tortured enough yet.

They just had to hear, he’d given her 18 roses,

18 roses in my life I would never get.

The aching bitterness my heart encloses!

How lovely, to show one’s love,

With one rose, the flower of the heart,

Of beauty,

For each year of her life.

18 roses, they are the beauty I’d never possess,

The love, from him, I’ve always wanted,

But no, I digress,

They were given to her.

Did I really expect anything so romantic for me?

That thief, that thief, who stole every night,

And day,

And hour,

And wishful second,

Wasted thinking of him and wishing with all my might.

She stole any hope I ever had of dreams coming true.

Those 18 roses, instead, were 18 knives

Stabbed through my chest, my dreams’ archives.

Each blade ripped through a beloved fantasy,

Only to let the romantic hopes

Drip, drip, drip

Down my heart (at least, what’s left of it in me).

18 roses, like leeches, sucked the life out of my body.

18 roses – a rose for every time

I thought I had a chance –

Wait, did he even know I was alive?-

At a happily-ever-after romance.

I hope those roses have large thorns,

So they can pierce her

As deeply as they pierced me,

And that they infect her,

And grow in her like a parasite,

Growing bigger and bigger,

Until they eat her alive

From the inside out.

18 roses

0 chances

1 soul of lead