The coming of Grindel…

In the semi epic translation of Beowulf by Burton Raffle, the poet opens up the poem by talking about a new king of the Danes, Hrofgar and about how much everybody loves him and worships him. Well, one day, the king tired of living in some shabby place I am sure, decides to build a structure that will hold all his men who are solders. He claims he's doing it for his men, but I'm sure he has other reasons…. (Wink)

He wants to make this the tallest ball in the land and the vastest. In short, the constructive idea is a success, and he and his men are tickled with utter delight as they gaze up in joyous disbelief at their new home.

After the construction has its last board in place, everyone is so happy that they dance about without even caring about their safety.

“Gosh, it's an open structure, not hidden at all. Do you think it will be safe from any monster or anything?”

“Oh sure! This easy target for an attack will keep us well hidden!”

“Epic!”

So of course as they are partying their war ridden heads off. A man, who is portrayed, possibly metaphorically, as a monster, is getting so fed up with the music where he lives, which is down under, that he starts to growl in pain. ‘I HATE MUSIC!” he growls humbly.

After an introduction telling us why this monster should be feared, Grindel has a tuneless epiphany “I think I'll kill some oh, thirty odd men or so.” He says lively.

Having no common sense what so ever, and being to big for their britches, the solders sleep in an open, unlocked, unguarded, unsafe, unmonitored… you get the idea… room leaving Grindle open access to do endless slaughtering. Nice move king. “Awesome thinking.” The reviewer said wisely.

The men who hadn’t died… (However that happened…) rose from a night slumber and tramped into their friends room. As they saw the carnage, they wept in cried in utter fear. One solder was hysterical.

“They’re gone!” he wept deadly.”

The solders are spooked after they saw how easily their pals had been slaughtered, and they start to realize that perhaps our dear old king is an idiot in disguise. They choose to flee from the all mighty king who just made one little mistake. Sure, it was a huge goof but everyone makes mistakes. His solders weren’t having it at all and they ran.

About a year later Grindel is slowly taking over. The king is still weeping over his blunder.

“I have no men.” He said lonely. The men were quite smart if you ask me. Some people learn from their mistakes, but just between you and me, I don’t have high hopes four our genius king over here.

Therefore, Grindle, like politicians, just kept on killing people all over the place. His slaughters became well known by mouth, and soon afterwards began the first resemblance of Hitler. Everyone feared him, and he loved it.

“I won’t stop killing.” Grindle said apathetically.

There was however, one lone throne he would not dare touch. That was the throne of Hrothgar. It was guarded by an unseen ruler of even him. God.

But even though they had god on their side, no one knew what to do.

“What do we do?” men said stupidly.

By the lucky stars however, someone did hear of Grindle’s attack. That person was Beowulf, and he was the strongest… (In addition, handsomest?) Man in the world. After hearing this news, he sprang into action. He gathered up his strongest men of fourteen and decided to sail over to where the Danes resided.

“I shall slay this monster!” Beowulf said arrogantly. Therefore, began the long trek to rid the world of this Brittany Spears like terror.