Whispers in the Dark
by: Skillet

Despite the lies that you’re making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
to turn your tears to roses
I will be the one that’s gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is a burning, consuming fire

Whispers
in
the

DARK

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+CHAPTER 7: Not Alone+
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To say that Chase was beginning to feel guilty would be an understatement. It was already Thursday and he hadn’t seen Spencer since Tuesday morning when he had accused him of hurting himself. Spencer hadn’t come to school that day and he hadn’t seen nor heard from him since.

Now he was sitting in his last class staring at Spencer’s empty seat with Chris glaring at him, as if he knew what had happened. Chase couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat, feeling unnerved by the cold stare. When class was over, Alex walked over to him with his bag already slung over his shoulder.

“Hey,” Alex greeted him with the same bored voice he always used. He wondered how the guy always managed to stay so calm. “Do you know why Spencer hasn’t been in school lately? Chris seems to think you’ve kidnapped him and locked him in your basement to sexually torture.”

“No I don’t know,” Chase snapped, quickly becoming defensive due to guilt. Thankfully, Alex didn’t seem the type to be riled easily, he just stood there staring blankly at him. Strangely, his calm attitude helped calm Chase down as well. Sighing, he relaxed his tense shoulders and asked, “Why don’t you just call him and ask?”

“He doesn’t have a cell phone. His foster parents only give him what he needs. Food and shelter.”

“Then call his house.”

“He doesn’t like talking on the phone there. His foster mother has a habit of eavesdropping.”

“Then go to his house.”

“We did. He’s never home when we do and he never gets back to us.”

Trust Spencer to make things difficult, Chase couldn’t help but think. He couldn’t believe how childish Spencer was behaving. Could he blame Chase for acting the way he did? He had woken up to having Spencer’s blood on him for Christ’s sake. Of course he had freaked out. He didn’t want to believe that Spencer was hurting himself, but he’d rather believe that than believe the monsters were real and that everything they went through as kids wasn’t a delusion.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you.” And with that, Chase slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the classroom, though Alex and Chris were hot on his heels.

“We’re going to look for him. Do you want to come with us?” Alex asked.

“Why would I want to do that?”

“Because we know you did something,” Chris stated, glaring at him with accusing eyes that made Chase want to kick him.

“Helene, Jack and Matt are coming too.”

“What is this, a search party,” Chase grumbled.

“Spencer is . . . fickle. We’re worried about him. If you cared about him as much as you let on earlier than you should be worried too,” Alex claimed.

Chase stopped and moved over to the wall so he didn’t get trampled by people who were in a hurry to get out. Alex and Chris both followed him, though Chris didn’t look excited about the idea of inviting him along, which that alone made the offer tempting. His arms were crossed and he was so obviously pouting it made Chase want to laugh at his expense.

“Maybe Spence just wants some time alone,” Chase said, though he knew it was bullshit himself and could tell that Alex saw that too.

However, Alex wasn’t the type to waste time trying to convince someone to get off their lazy ass and do something.

“And maybe you’re just in denial about your own guilt,” Alex sighed, shaking his head as if disappointed. “Come or don’t come, it’s your decision, but we’re leaving now.”

And as soon as the words were out of his mouth, Alex turned to the exit and left, Chris leaving with him, looking happier now that he thought Chase wasn’t going to go.

But as Chase watched them leave the building to go and do what he should be doing, he felt like a douche and mentally groaned, quickly catching up with them.

Spencer needed him and he needed to come through, before their relationship—whatever it was—was broken beyond repair.

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It actually didn’t take long for them to find Spencer. He was at the park, sitting on a swing, looking lonely. He was staring at the sand beneath his feet as the swing slowly moved back and forth.

Seeing him there, it made the guilt weigh heavily on Chase’s shoulders, as he knew he was responsible. The anger he felt earlier for the boy’s childish actions began to melt away as the old, buried part of him that longed to protect him rose back up inside. Despite that, he couldn’t just go over there and talk to him, not with everyone watching them.

He felt torn between wanting to go and not have to deal with it, and wanting to go over there and make things right again.

“There. We found him. He’s alive. Big shocker there. Can we go now?”

Apparently he was a stubborn coward.

“You should talk to him,” Helene said, beating Alex to the punch. She looked over at Chase with hard eyes. “Something happened between you two Monday and you need to patch things over. If you leave things as they are now they’ll only get worse. Not just for you either.”

“Agreed,” everyone but Chris said, who was squawking in protest.

Ignoring him, Chase agreed and dragged his feet to the swings. He didn’t want to fight anymore and knew that if he left, and if someone else comforted him, he would never have the chance to do this again. Not the right way. Not if someone else played his part for him. Just before he got there, he looked back to see the others perched on one of the white benches, no longer paying them any mind, giving them some privacy, as they talked to each other—Chris seeming to be the only one distracted.

Spencer didn’t say anything as Chase sat on the swing next to him and also looked down at the ground. They sat there in an awkward silence instead, staring at their feet and the sand and listening to the squeaking of the chains.

The situation was beginning to weigh heavier on Chase with each passing second, it seemed. All of his own anger and insecurities were being blown away by the knowledge of how he hurt his friend. He could remember how he reacted that morning perfectly in his mind. He could have handled that better in so many ways. Spencer had trusted him, had left himself open and vulnerable to him and he spat on him and called him insane in return.

Finally, Chase blurted out, “I’m sorry,” and Spencer looked up at him with blank eyes, showing obvious distrust.

When the silence continued Chase figured he would have to do all the talking this time and continued without thinking, simply just wanting things to be good between them again. Those distant eyes weren’t meant for him, not from Spencer. He hated having that look on him. And he had been miserable since Tuesday, he didn’t want to admit it but he was. Now that he was there with Spencer, he could see how badly he hurt the other boy with his words. He had treated Spencer exactly how the people who abandoned him did. Even if Chase didn’t believe in the monsters, Spencer did and he should have been there to support him but instead he treated him as if he were mentally ill, a freak—and a dumb freak at that.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did to you. I should have listened to you about the monsters because it’s obviously very real to you and I just want you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to help you out from now on, whatever you need, seriously, anything. I have a lot to make up for with you and I know that. I just want you to know that I do have regrets and they hurt. I want to make it better but I don’t know how and I, I’m afraid that if this goes badly I’ll just end up falling with you and then nothing will be okay again and—I’m just really sorry,” he said in a rush, taking in deep breaths when he was finished.

“You hurt me,” Spencer finally said, breaking the silence that had started to hover over them. “Again.”

“I know but I—”

He was cut off when Spencer chuckled breathlessly.

“How many more times will you hurt me? It’s never enough. You treat me like a toy for you to use and abuse. You don’t think about how your words affect me. You are not the same boy you were before you left, because if you were, you never would have said those things to me.” Spencer looked at him with sad eyes. “How can I trust this Chase when I don’t know him?”

Chase swallowed. He knew Spencer was right, but the thought of him not being trusted by the boy was unbearable. It felt like this was a conversation they were having too often. They were both different and couldn’t seem to let go of how they viewed each other from the past. Chase had to stop himself from bringing that up, as that conversation was for another time. Chase and Spencer needed to re-learn each other as teenagers and not as helpless kids hiding under the covers.

“I’ll do whatever you want to show you that I still care about you just as much as I did then. I’ll be better. I promise.”

And he would make sure to keep it this time. No more screw ups.

Spencer glanced over at his friends before asking, “And the monsters?”

“They’re real to you,” Chase said with no hesitation, no longer needing to think about it. His mind was made up. He was going to be there for Spencer this time, no more running. “And that’s enough.”

“I want you to come over again tonight,” Spencer said in a low whisper, surprising Chase with the suddenness of it.

Nevertheless, he didn’t miss a beat. “Okay. I will.”

He received a sharp nod and then looked back at the group.

“I can’t believe they all came out looking for me.”

“I should have come to you Tuesday. The second I knew you weren’t okay by my words.”

“Yes. You should have.” He looked at Chase with almost a playful expression. “Will you stop treating me like I belong in a hospital then?”

“You don’t belong in a hospital,” Chase said, and that was answer enough.

“Hey! Can you guys hurry?! Kiss and make up already for Christ’s sake!” Matt called with a grin.

“You have very unique friends,” Chase commented.

Spencer ignored him and shot him a warning look. “Tonight.”

Chase nodded.

“Tonight.”

It was the first foster home Spencer had been to and it hadn’t started off well. There were other kids already there—three of them, and they didn’t’ like Spencer. They picked on him and bullied him, but they always lied about it whenever Spencer brought it up. Spencer had already been labeled as a troubled child and many of the adults thought he was out for attention and so, no one believed him. Eventually, he just gave up and became someone the other three kids pushed around.

One day he was pushed right into a closet.

“I can’t believe you’re still afraid of the dark,” one of the kids laughed, grabbing him with the other two.

“Stop it!” Spencer cried, but the grip on him only got tighter as they dragged him to the upstairs hall closet. They opened the door and he grabbed the doorframe, trying to prevent himself from being tossed in. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he stared into the small dark room. He screamed for help but his foster parents had gone out to buy dinner.

“Stop it! Stop it!”

One of the boys knocked his hand off the doorframe and he lost his balance. Spencer tripped into the closet and before he could even turn around the door was slammed shut and locked.

“The boogeyman will get you,” the kids joked on the other end, laughing at his expense.

“Let me out!” Spencer screamed, banging on the door with his two tiny fists as he choked on sobs. Soon he heard the loud thudding of footsteps getting further away and he knew that the kids had left him there in that small room.

He sunk to the ground on his knees, his fists resting against the door as he willed himself to calm down. He was on his own now. No one else was left to help him.

He heard a rattling of hangers and froze in fear.

Turning around, he saw not one, but two monsters looking at him from the darkness.

He screamed.

“HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME! LET ME OUT! PLEASE!”

Hangers fell to the floor as the monsters crept down to him. Instinctively, he grabbed one of them and held it up as if it were some sort of weapon. But as a clawed hand reached for him he felt he could not move, could not speak, until that clawed hand drew blood, swiftly slashing his arm.

“AAAAAAH!”

He began swinging the hanger wildly, trying to chase the monster away as he screamed and cried.

The monsters almost seemed to laugh at this, amusement sparkling in their eyes.

Then, one of the monster’s mouth opened and it spoke.

“Spencer, Spencer,” the rough and scratchy voice almost seemed to echo in the room. “I miss you. I want to break you.”

He merely continued to wail.

In the distance, he heard voices on the other side of the door. He turned back to the door and began going back and forth between pounding and even scratching his nails on the door, getting pieces of the wood under his nails and causing them to bleed.

The monster crept closer.

“Don’t turn away from me, Spence.”

The door opened and light poured into the room, the monsters vanishing instantly.

Spencer, relieved and weak, fell forward on the ground, half of his body still in the closet and the other half on the floor at his foster parents feet. He cried against the wood, tears and snot running down his face as blood oozed from the wound on his arm.

That was the first time he had gotten kicked out of his foster home.

Spencer shot up in bed, cold sweat gathering on his body. He looked around his dark room and saw them, staring at him but not making any move to touch him. He looked to his side and saw Chase sleeping next to him. He had come just as he promised, once again sneaking in through the window when his foster parents were already asleep. Now he was lying next to him with his arm around Spencer’s waist, their legs tangled together under the sheets.

Blankly, Spencer stared at the monsters and whispered, “You can’t touch him can you? Or me, when he’s touching me like this . . .”

Two more monsters come but they don’t try to hurt him like all the other times. They looked almost pained because of this, calling out his name repeatedly in a way that made Spencer’s skin crawl.

“Stop it,” he whispered.

“Spence, Spence, Spence . . .” they continued to call out in that horrid voice.

It wasn’t even that they were calling out to him that freaked him out. But rather, it was the way they were calling out to him, the way they were saying his name.

They were calling him Spence.

The same thing Chase always called him.