“It seems he has repressed most of his memories considering he can only remember up until he awoke.”

“Is there a chance he can get them back?”

A sigh.

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that, weather he recalls the memories or not is up to him. Most likely, he will not.”

“Thank you Doctor, but what will I do with him? He doesn’t recall ever having parents.”

“Take him to an orphanage or you can adopt him I’m sure you will make a well-deserved parent.”

“I’m too old,”

A laugh followed the croak of the old man’s voice. I heard shuffling of papers and then another sigh why did the lights have to be so bright? Why is my head about to explode?

“Then do what seems right, he’ll have to come back for regular check-ups I’ll schedule an appointment you can give to the care taker.”

“Alright, thank you.”

A rip of paper given to the old man whom I don’t remember he glances at me and smiles. I don’t smile back. Then, I am wheeled away to recovery. Everything is so loud and bright. I wish everything would just shut up. Don’t they understand that I’m in pain?

“It’s alright now, Gato, you’re safe here. Just rest.”

I did.

I was so tired that I couldn’t stand it and even with the bright lights burning through my eyes I drifted off into abyss.

That dream. I always have that same dream; it’s starting to piss me off really. Why can’t my memory do something useful and bring up a past event that I DON’T remember.

I can’t recall anything before I was the age of eight. I don’t remember Mommy or Daddy or any kind of family. What’s the point in having to live with people you don’t remember if you can hardly remember yourself?

I’m a stranger in my own skin.

I remember so many things, except for anything important like relatives or who I am exactly. Of course, I know the necessities such as my name and age. My name is Gato Misaki, and I am 17 years old. But I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I come from except the streets. For all I know I was born in some gutter to a whore and had to sleep in a cardboard box. Or I could be some millionaire’s lost hire and own an empire of some sort.

I think being born in the gutter is more likely though.

I opened a drawer next to my bed and take out a notebook, I always thought it was girly looking. Purple leather with gold binding. The pen looks worse. A pink feathered ball point pen. I really hate that doctor; he said that “it was the only thing they had left.” Yeah right, my ass. He told me that I should write down my current events and bring them in for my check-ups. Why? So they have an excuse to read my personal life because theirs suck so much?

Even so, I did write in the stupid girly notebook. I guess because I had nothing better to do and I suppose it beats going downstairs into a swarm of annoying screaming little kids, suck ups, and kiss asses. I find it so stupid when adults come inside to pick a kid. Like at a pet store. And the rest act so perfect and nice when they’re all anything but, just so they can go into a nice warm haven. I bet in a few months once they learn what they’re all about, they’ll dump the kid.

Because that’s what adults are like. They can’t handle pressure from a snot nosed little brat, the screaming and crying. So they toss them away. Like a warn away pair of shoes that don’t fit anymore. That’s why I don’t want a family. I can take care of myself.

“Gato come down here! A family is here and you have to go to Doctor Watari!” Tori-san, one of the care takers in the orphanage yelled up to me. Even if she was yelling her voice still sounded sweet and soft, mother like even, instead of the straining screech one would most likely hear from someone yelling. I think she’s my favorite in the house; she’s not like Naomi-san or Yukiko-san, whom are always yelling at each other or the other kids.

“I’ll be right down!” I called back, so much for writing in the notebook. But I guess I was half-relieved that I didn’t have to write anything down. Glancing out the window I noticed it was raining, I cringed slightly I don’t really like the rain. Taking out a green shirt with yellow stars on it I tug it over my head then pulling up my jeans, I don’t really need socks do I? Awh, well. No socks for me. I put on my converse then race down the stairs smiling at Tori-san with a nod. She smiled back and steered me toward the living room. I still have to meet the family?

“Of course you do, silly, just because you’re going to Hospital doesn’t mean you get off with special treatment.” Alright, I know I did not speak that thought out loud. But I guess, that’s what I love about Tori-san. She knows what I’m thinking nearly all the time. “Just be nice, introduce yourself and then you can leave.”