5 years later

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be…

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

All of the memories so close to me just fade away

All this time you were pretending,

So much for my happy ending…

I woke up to find my iPod blasting something about a broken heart and not having happy endings. I guess I slept with my iPod. Again.

I turned my sleepy eyes to my bedside clock. Shit. I overslept. I’m supposed to be helping out with Lisa’s party today. So, why am I on my bed, lying here like a sitting duck staring at the ceiling when I’m supposed to be a mile away in Janna’s house? The answer is simple. And not to mention stupid.

On this very day, five years ago, Angelo Carson left for Florida without so much as a nod.

So you might also be thinking, why am I moping and sulking in my room if I never felt anything for him in the first place?

Well, to tell you the truth, I honestly don’t know.

I don’t even know how he is right now. The last conversation we had was the one he sent me days after he left for freakin’ Florida. I don’t even think that counted as a conversation! I mean, the only word I said was hey and I’m ok. Now I currently do not know if he lived in a trailer, or if he had gone to college, or what course he took. And I don’t care, either!

Yes, you do.

Shut up, freakin’ conscience.

How the hell can I shut up when I’m you?

I dunno. Just don’t bother me, okay?

You could’ve asked his sister, you know. His sister is your best friend who happens to have a birthday today.

But I didn’t ask Lisa. So that means I do not care about him!

Chill.

If it weren’t for the familiar ring of my phone under my pillow telling me that Lisa was looking for me and the annoying blast of my brother’s music in his room next to mine, I would never have gone out of my bed.

Not until the calendar would tell me it was no longer September 23rd.

I left my car in the garage. I was in no mood to drive. I’d rather walk a mile. Well, literally. So now after banging the hell out of my brother’s door to turn down the music and switching off my phone though I still brought it with me, I am currently walking in jeans and a gray tank top with a dogtag, all the while swinging my duffel bag carrying the party clothes for later. I never go out without my dogtag—well, except during my junior prom night, but that ended with cake dumped all over my dress… So like I said, I never go out without it anymore, or bad luck catches up with me – even if that meant sporting a major fashion crime.

“Jenny! I’ve been calling you for the last hour! Where in the world have you been?” Lisa pulled me inside her three-story modern house. It probably cost a lot of white paint to be able to finish the said thing. Not to mention glass.

“Well, nowhere actually. Happy Birthday.” I tried to put cheer into my voice, but that only resulted to an exaggerated greeting which totally sucked. Czarina was already in the house, along with three other girls from our group.

“Well, thanks, and since you’re two hours late, you can start off by arranging the flowers. Hurry up because in case you forgot, you volunteered to do the stairway.” Lisa walked off tagging along a long, no make that extra-long, blue ribbon. She was even yelling orders around the house as she did so. The woman makes a perfectionist cry and whine like a baby.

“Jen, what happened? Did you get into fight with your brother?” Janna asked from across the room. Her grin made her seem younger and her hair was so not in the right places.

“Correction, Janna, her gorgeous brother.” Czarina chimed in. Oh, did I forget to mention my brother looked totally hot on my friends’ eyes? They should get their eyes checked, and so with the rest of the female population who all seem to have a thing with my brother.

Let me introduce you to the gang. You already know Czarina and Lisa. Janna’s across the room, placing this drape on the wall which I totally think is unnecessary. Lisa’s well, somewhere in the house giving instructions to their maid on what to cook and clean. (Did I not mention that Lisa’s dad is a chief executive in Nestle and that makes them rich?) Czarina is the one replacing the entrepreneur magazine on the living room table with seventeen, ok!, elle, and, well, candy. (Not edible candy, I meant the magazine.) Paula is by the pool, placing and replacing the tables and stuff to be dumped outside. Pauline is placing candies (the edible ones) on twelve, large bowls, which are to be placed outside for the party. The last girl is Fran. Fran isn’t actually a girl, but he insists on being labeled as one so why not? He is the one placing lanterns and other decorations by the pool. All of these decorations were his idea, minus the stairway which I volunteered for (Fran hates stairways due to a childhood accident), the flowers, and the food and candies which Janna required.

“Could you stop making gross comments about my brother? You’re killing the flowers.” I had to do three more flowers before I can start with the stairway. And arranging this one took me almost an hour. It would’ve been quicker if Lisa didn’t want this one to be so big.

“Jenny, we can’t help it if you happen to have a gorgeous, six-foot-one, blonde-haired, blue-eyed brother, who also happens to be a basketball varsity player.” Pauline giggled. Seriously, why can my brother make the female population giggle like that?!

.oOo.

“Girls, what should I wear? This, this, or this? Or should that one be better?” With everything done an hour before the party, we were huddled in Lisa’s room—currently racking out our brains for the perfect outfit for the birthday girl.

“Maybe you should wear the pink halter top with the black and pink skirt. You look hot in that, girl.” Fran suggested. All of us nodded in agreement.

Lisa frowned in deep thought before looking up to us. “I was thinking of wearing the black dress we bought last week.”

I rolled my eyes. What did she need us for if she could decide what to wear, then? “Thank God! I was beginning to think you decided to run around in your bikini to the party.” Paula sighed.

“You guys, that is so mean.” She defended.

“What’s mean is you making us stick here to help you decide what to wear when we should’ve been changing, too.” Pauline whined.

The next thing I knew, everyone was engaged in a pillow fight and it wasn’t until the doorbell rang when we hurried off to change. This is why you should never get carried away when inside a room full of girls… and a gay. You forget to do something more important. Like changing from your sweaty tank top to some decent clothing!

Lisa gave me a room all to myself. Just for today, of course. I showered quickly before stepping into a new set of clothing. This time bearing a red shirt that said back off boy! I don’t normally wear skirts, and I never wear a mini skirt, but Lisa insisted we all should wear a mini skirt for her birthday (except for Fran). I couldn’t deny the poor girl of a thing like that.

“Hey, Jennifer! Done, already?” Fran was banging on my door. I swear I thought it was a girl yelling on the other side of the door.

“Almost!” I sprayed a whiff of cologne behind my ears before grimacing on the figure looking back at me in the mirror. I saw this dark-haired, seventeen-year-old girl with surprisingly green eyes and fair skin. I was not pretty or anything like that. Pretty is a word given to girls like Lisa, who has really dark and curly hair that always stayed in place, gray eyes like snow against steel, flawless skin and an impossibly nice smile. Beautiful was meant for girls like Paula and Pauline (did I mention they’re twins?). They were both red-heads with chocolate, almond eyes. They could be like, supertwins or something.

I opened the door to find Fran in the doorway looking absolutely hot if he was a guy. He wore this black short-sleeved polo that made his blue eyes shine all the more. If he wasn’t so gay, I would’ve fallen for him you know?

“Come on, Lisa is about to descend the stairway you decorated, which is absolutely amazing, by the way. “ I hooked my arm to Francis Jude Cobalt’s (Fran’s real name) arm before descending the stairway ourselves.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come for the princess of the night to descend. I ask all of you to count down with me: Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven…” Janna was tasked to host this night’s event. Lisa wanted her 17th birthday to be remembered all throughout the year, so we all pitched in to make this night as beautiful as it already was for her. “Six… Five… Four…” The night is beautiful for her, and not for me. How could I enjoy this day when September 23rd held no good memories for me? Isn’t it time to let the past go? For the first time, I agreed with my conscience. “Three…Two… One…” I breathed deeply. “Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you, Lisa Carson!” The crowd erupted into shouts and cheers as Lisa made her way down the staircase. There she was, looking as pretty as ever, in her black dress. She smiled at me and mouthed a thank you before reaching the foot of the staircase. That girl better make this night worth it after all the trouble the girls and I went through.

Hours through the party, I made my way through a couple kissing in the dance floor which so happened to be Pauline and some guy named Nick. It’s not surprising, really. I mean, Pauline’s really beautiful.

I breathed a sigh of relief once I reached my destination: the kitchen. I took out a can of coke from the refrigerator and opened it immediately. I needed sugar. Lots of it.

I caught myself staring at my own reflection on the glass door. There was something missing. Something I couldn’t quite place. I tried to feel my dogtag through my chest… And to my horror, it was missing! “Damn.”

“Looking for this?” A male voice boomed behind me. I turned my head to find a roughly five-foot-eleven guy with eyes like Lisa’s. He looked familiar. Wait… He can’t be… But…no. It was none other than the reason why I hated this day so much. How could he be back? How? Why? What the hell?

“Aren’t you glad to see me?” He grinned. This cannot be happening.

I backed away.

“Hey,” he grinned, “surprised?”

I looked at Angelo Carson for the first time in exactly five years.

How could Lisa not tell me her brother was coming home? If only I knew, I would have gone home right after helping out with the house. I wouldn’t have waited around in this place if it meant seeing Angelo Carson after a really long time (I almost forgot how he looked like). I followed his movement with my eyes. I backed away with every step he took. Unfortunately though, this was a kitchen for Pete’s sake! I could never avoid hitting a table or the sink! And that’s exactly what happened. Yes, when Angelo opened his arms for a bear hug, I backed away only to get hit by a sink that had to be placed behind me.

And so Angelo Carson hugged me after five freaking years.

.oOo.

I was now back in my room.

I could really use my brother’s hug right now. Not that he gave me one very often.

Why in the world did September 23rd not hold any good memories for me? Why of all days, did a certain man have to come back to Phoenix on the exact date he left? Why did that date happen to be Lisa’s birthday? And why, why did he have to show up behind me to give me a hug? I did not know what happened, but at that exact moment and at that exact spot, I wanted to break down and cry and wake up after a week for no particular reason. Well, not exactly for no reason, but I don’t know the reason so I guess, well, okay I’m currently blabbing non-stop. What is happening to me?

I couldn’t help but flashback to last night.

Crack.

I slapped the grin off his face, but that only made him wince in pain. A hundred emotions flashed across his face. I thought I saw sadness but why the heck would he be sad? So I guess I only thought I saw it. Damn. How could I slap him? “I’m sorry…” I started.

“No,” he grinned, “I’m sorry. I surprised you and I, well, you know…” He placed the dogtag in my hand and patted his fingers over mine. Seriously, I felt an electric shock tingle up my arm at that instant. I looked down to my feet. I could feel color steel up to my cheeks and a fountain threatened to leak through the stupid holes in my head called eyes. Not long after, I heard the shuffling of feet and a door closed softly. The door opened again and I looked up to see Lisa give me a worried glance.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

Please, tears, do not fall.

“Yeah. I have to go. Happy birthday.” I made my way to her and hugged her as tight as I could before releasing her and looking back at her own toothy grin. I forced a smile into my own lips and quickly walked away.

I can’t believe he’s here. I honestly cannot believe it. Why did he have to come back? No one asked him to. I’m sure Lisa doesn’t want her brother around as much as I do. She hates her brother perhaps even more than I do. Well, I don’t exactly hate him. But I just don’t like the feeling of him being around me. It’s…it’s… not normal.

Somebody gag me.

I rolled over my bed and lied on my stomach. I hugged the pillow on my head so tight and examined it closely. I couldn’t believe my eyes. And good thing I didn’t because this was insane.

I saw Angelo’s face on my pillow. How disgustingly horrible is that? I can’t even believe I thought about him! I threw the pillow to the farthest corner of my room and ran furiously out of it and into the kitchen.

The kitchen was a much safer place than my bedroom. Food was better to be around with rather than pillows and bedspreads. Trust me, you can never go wrong with ice cream. Strawberry ice cream was by far my favorite. Good thing the freezer was loaded with this. Mmmm. I just hope my brother doesn’t see me like this or he is so going to snag the ice cream right under my nose. Mmmm.

I leaned over at the table and started eating off the lid of the ice cream (metaphorically, of course). Ice cream made life so much better.

Out of the blue, while I was satisfyingly licking off the spoon, a really annoying sound caught my ear. Spack. I swear my ears sort of came up like a cat’s. Spack. There it is again! There isn’t a ghost here or anything, right? I mean, Halloween is a month away. But ghosts don’t exist right?

Spack.

My head turned to the one place the sound was coming from: the glass door to the yard.

Spack.

If I hadn’t followed the flying thing with my eyes, I swear it could’ve been a UFO. But no, it was a pebble. Well, pebbles, actually. I walked over to the door and pressed my face against it. I don’t seem to see anyone in the yard. A movement. A sound. A rustle and shuffle of feet.

And there, behind the fence under a tree, was an eager Angelo Carson throwing pebbles onto the door since he obviously couldn’t get into the yard.

I hope I’m only dreaming about this.

Author's Note:

I'm so sorry if you think this chap is rushed..

It sort of seems rushed to me.

Thanx to chocl8 can kill!!

~goodbyes~