Shane W.- Age: 21

25 September 2009

HOW TO CATCH A PEN PAL

Chris Hanson's heart is in my hands. I've seen the plant monsters in the Ghillie flage suits. I've seen Chris. He tells me to take a seat, but I'm so goddamn stupid I give him microwavable butter instead. It slowly melts in his hands, which are ablaze, since he is obviously and obliviously a dragon.
One day I asked him- Chris, what is it you like to do other than catch pen pals? He said- "I like listening to neo-folk-post-punk-doom-death-experimental-dark-ambient-industrial-black-viking-hardcore-western-metallic-metal when I'm lonely, and cyber-chat of course. Any other time you'll catch me writing my book."
I says "WHAT MEANS IT BE ENTITLED?" He says "Rofl's series of unfortunate dicks." OH, OK.