I am what I am. I am heavy so don't try to stop me, but more often I stop myself. I am what I am. I am smoky hair and pearl teeth and eyes that squint into shapes like Gabby's hands pinched together. I am painted toenails that grow crooked and craftsman's hands and a slim, befuddled body.

I am what I am. I am arrogant and jealous. I am a writer who does not use words as the building blocks of monuments but rather as grains of sand for foot-high, clumsy castles. I pull things out from inside of me and sculpt them like I wish I could myself. I am a shapeshifting heroin addict, I am a miserable librarian, I am an ink-eyed dragon, I am a mathematician and a thrush. I am jealous because I know my paper will not be the best. I am wishing that I had my space and my time and my rules to show you what I can REALLY do. I am sure that I have written more words than the author of the paper you will give the highest score.

But I am what I am. I am able to be content. I am a friend who has learned some things the hard way. I am a four square game. I am an inflatable fortress with only three sides. I am the long-toiler, the meticulous worker of gifts. I am the back-up plan, the one who tucks her cell phone in her bathrobe pocket in case he needs to call. I am Fuck-Corr's-Test-She-Needs-To-Be-Told-She-Is-Beautiful. I am what I am. I am trips to the carnival that show sometimes even the stitches can fade; I am talks about sex on the Ferris Wheel. I am a winter kiss. I am what I am. I am a week at camp that hurts because she doesn't believe anymore. I am in mental puberty, when I can grasp the weight of horrible things but do not have enough life under my shoulders to make my understanding whole. I am raised with God, but do not know who He is. I am a doubting Christian who will never give up.

I am what I am. I am the person who can easily shock you. I am swiped champagne and ear piercings; I am humor like dust, dry and everywhere. I am the student who never misses a semicolon. I am trips to the mountains where soft, unshaven legs alternately straddle glaciers and sofas. I am handmade Pokémon cards and coin and teeth and paperclip collections. I am a loyal iPod mini and a drooling Wolverine fangirl. I am hours spent online, refreshing and waiting for the next sentence of my story. I am what I am. I am the product of a beautiful marriage. I am what I am. I am happy and impatient and I am going to bed.