it was always a massive mistake to fall for a soul i could not touch
and better yet have him hanging on for dear life
unbeknownst to him
(Of course)

and summer brings back the memories from the bottom of the lake
where i lingered with the seaweed and the sand
my fingers reaching up while my head swirls down

but i drank whiskey instead
and settled for the better of the worst-
my own solitary memories of what was left hidden

but the fortune asks me “what i would do…?”
and i can't help but nod at the sirens in the back of my eyes
and pray to a lord that never tried
to kill me
the unfortunate impact caught me and threw me off kilter
leaving only the dash to my knee and the pig key chain to die out

my mind returns to the bottom of the lake
where the sun slices through the green murky water
and my hair (longer than before) slowly moves about me

there is a resounding silence about the way i force myself under
struggling to keep up with my lungs
as breathing becomes nothing
swimming with the fishes

am i not wild enough
to whirl and never die?
or am i just the right amount of rebellion
to suit the hungry cause?

the once expensive car is wrecked
and i am only bruised and strained
quietly
wishing for a coma
to soothe the easy sway of loss
but my ability to smell sickness has strengthened
and the wind keeps pulling me out of my seat to argue

i see
i see
(well, nothing)
the inevitable will sour and fail to be thrown away
and the solar powered flower from china will not dance to
unknown artists of today

so keep it safe for now?

i hit hard times
and revel in my losses
recycling lines from unannounced poems and
dreaming of kings waltzing with their queens
as onlookers stare in bewilderment and respected jealousy

well, i see where i have fallen
knee deep in my own faults and miscalculations
depending too greatly on the magic of knowledge
and my own set of chattering teeth.

it is not possible to settle this
so i will end
here