Author’s Note:

I’M NOT DEAD!

Yeah, just clearing that up. I know! I’ve been horrible – not uploading in… forever. BUT good excuse: homework. Ugh. *shudder* I’ve been getting SO much, but this weekend (Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada) the teachers went easy on us. Just math and studying for a science unit test. Thank gosh.

Oh, and this.

This is another assignment I had to do for school, but I liked it so much, I’m going to upload it! Hurray!

So, the main idea is that we had to take a stereotypical fairytale and switch it around or make up our own NON-stereotypical fairytale. Well, my group didn’t really do much of the writing (*coughnonecough*) so I can safely say, this was all me!

The fairytale we chose was Little Red Riding Hood… but what is going to happen in our version?

DUN DUUN DUUUUUUNNNNN!

Little Red Riding Hood: The Wolf’s Tale

One light and fluffy evening, the wolf was hungry and tired. Extremely hungry and tired. He was venturing through the small ticket of woods behind his home. The wolf let out a loud yawn, stretching his arms out. The yawn resounded through the whole area. Directly behind him, the wolf heard the smallest squeak of fear he’d ever heard. He spun around and yelped in surprise at the small figure in front of him. It was a little girl, in a red riding hood.

“Who are you?!” he puffed, grasping his chest where his heart was pounding.

“I’m Little Red Riding Hood! I know who you are! You’re the wolf! What do you want?” she squeaked in her high pitched voice. She was clutching a big basket where the wolf could smell a sweet aroma coming from.

“Is that cookies I smell?” the wolf sniffed the air, his mouth watering.

“Yes, they’re for my grandmother. I must go now, goodbye.” And just like that, she dashed off into the woods, down the path.

The wolf felt his stomach rumble. He needed some food and quick. Possibly a nice salad. He was vegetarian after all. The wolf finally chose to go pay his old friend, Grandma, a visit.

After a few moments of taking a shortcut through the forest trees, the wolf arrived at Grandma’s house. He knocked on the door and Grandma’s smiling old face appeared in the doorway.

“Grandma, you look fine today! Do you mind if I stay for a bite to eat? I’m terribly hungry and have nothing to eat!” the wolf exclaimed.

Grandma beamed, “Of course, Wolf. Come on in, I’ll fix you a nice salad – you’re favourite!”

The wolf enjoyed Grandma’s food and Grandma enjoyed the wolf’s company. She talked about a small grandchild, her only. According to Grandma, she only came around a few times a week to bring goodies from her mother. So, most of the time Grandma was alone and the house was quiet.

Now, the wolf had finished eating, his stomach groaning in approval, but he let out a loud yawn. It shook the table and silver wear.

“Oh dear, you’re so tired! I must invite you to sleep in my bed for the night! You have to wear my linens but, a good night’s sleep is what you need,” Grandma said, concerned.

“If it’s not any trouble, I’ll stay. Thank you!” the wolf smiled warmly.

“Of course! No problem. I’m alright to stay up for a while. I must clean out my closet, such a mess in there!” Grandma exclaimed, “Get settled in!”

And so the wolf drifted off into Dreamland in Grandma’s pajamas and in her bed. But Grandma herself went over to her closet to get clothes off of the top shelf. It was a hard reach, so she climbed onto a chair to get a better handle on it. Although, with one particularly heavy load of clothes, she lost her balance, flew off the chair and right into the door, which slammed shut and locked. Grandma was now stuck in the closet, unconscious.

The wolf didn’t hear anything as he dreamt the happiest dreams.

Ten minutes after Grandma’s fall, Little Red Riding Hood came knocking on Grandma’s door. She found that it was open, so she walked right in. She searched all over the house for Grandma, but finally found what she thought was Grandma in her bed.

The wolf at this point was just starting to stretch and wake up, only to find the little girl from the woods standing at his bedside.

“Oh, Little Red, what are you doing here?”

“I’m visiting you Grandma! Duh!” she laughed like it was hilarious.

The wolf realized that he must look like Grandma to Little Red because he was dressed like her. He started to say something to Little Red but cut him off.

“My Grandma, what big eyes you have!” Little Red examined the wolf’s eyes.

“Well, all the better to see you with right?” the wolf shrugged, “Look, Little Red-“

“My, what big ears you have Grandma!” Little Red boggled at the size of the wolf’s ears.

The wolf just rolled his eyes, “The better to hear with! Now, listen-“

“My, what big teeth you have! Grandma! THAT’S NOT YOU!” Little Red’s eyes were wide and she stepped away from the bed. She pulled out her cell phone. “I’m calling the police!”

“Wait! NO! Hey, don’t dial that number! You’re Grandma’s in the closet, cleaning. Go find her!” the wolf sat up, thoroughly annoyed now. His perfectly peaceful mood had been ruptured by an annoying little girl.

Little Red raised her eyebrows, walked over to the closet and pulled on the doorknob. The door swung cleanly open. There, in the middle of the walk-in closet floor was Grandma, unconscious.

“GRANDMA!?” Little Red bellowed. She took one last look at her grandmother, gave the wolf a swift evil smile, and dialed 9-1-1 on her cell.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” the wolf chased her around the room, “YOU DON’T KNOW THE STORY! COME ON!”

“Yes, there’s a wolf in my grandma’s house and its going to eat her!” a short pause, “Thank you!”

A couple seconds later, police sirens and bright lights filtered through the sheer lace window coverings. The wolf sighed and prepared himself to tell his side of the story. The truth.

But, the police barged in, Grandma remained unconscious and they believed Little Red’s side of the story.

“Alright Wolf, you’re coming with us,” one rather chubby police officer said. He grabbed each of the wolf’s paws and hand-cuffed him.

“It’s off to the SPCA with you!” the other police officer pushed him out the front door of Grandma’s house.

Little Red Riding Hood’s cackling was lost in the wolf’s loud howl.

Author’s Note:

Good, bad, ugly? YOU tell me! Look, a pretty green button. Why don’t you press that? (:

…Or else I’ll put Not-So-Little Red Riding Hood on your butt!

(Just kidding.)

(But really. Review. [=)