I Decided to Die

one, two, three… four
my heart continuously beats
one, two, three… four
I incessantly remind myself to breathe

I wonder what would happen
if I one day forget to live
as I watch myself leave my haven
would I be betraying all who believe?

the shadow of angst take over
toppling my courage & killing peace
I wish I am drunk & not sober
then I could just suffer w/ ease

it took some time to recover
I held on my thoughts for long
if the numbness meant it was all over
so I started humming our song

“live, live – for me & you
never shed a tear for the other
everyone deserves to be happy too
just bleed until you feel better”
21909

-I've been suicidal, I've had those nasty angsty days but you know what came to me after I was left with scars that already healed?-

"I've become a better person." ~watslftofme