Brinon Manor, Oldwick
14th May 1410

If Edmund thought his life could change in just a few days, it now seemed like very little compared to what two weeks could do. The previous eleven years of his life had been uneventful; he'd grown up learning the way of the world and having fun with his brothers. That was, he felt, how it should be. The busy confusion that was his life now was too stressful for his liking.

Papa had been home just for the evening. After that he had ridden across half the country to the homes of various members of Stephen's court, so Edmund had been told. He had always believed that Papa was friends with most of the men he saw nearly everyday - but he'd quickly come to realise that the real world outside his home wasn't like that. Men changed their friendships with a promise of land or power, and men who had been friends for years could be split apart by ambition. Men he'd often heard his father talk about with affection were joining Alexander of Baxter's campaign to rule the country - and with everything he'd heard Arthur and Oliver say about him, Edmund couldn't work out why.

Why would men join someone who would bring disaster on the country? Arthur had previously said that it was because Baxter was offering them land, and a higher place in his court than they'd had in Stephen's. But the more Edmund thought about it, the less likely that seemed. All the land in the country wouldn't cause him to rebuke his brothers, and a powerful position could never make him turn his back on his family. It must be that Stephen hadn't chosen the right men to have in his court, because no one who thought and acted like that should be in charge.

He and Thomas were trying to act as if nothing had changed around the house. They had been going for walks, playing outside, and making noise inside, all to show the rest of their family that they weren't going to let the threat bother them. He had hoped the effect would rub off on Arthur, Oliver or Richard - who had recovered from his illness too late to tell Papa in person that he wanted to fight alongside his brothers - but they had changed from before. They were never in the mood to spare even a small amount of time for their younger brothers, even if it was practising on the horses, which Edmund thought should have helped them in the upcoming battle.

But even if Edmund sought to bring up the subject of the coming battle, none of them wanted to talk about it. It was all they ever talked about amongst themselves, when Edmund happened to stumble across them and they didn't notice him in time to stop, but the subject seemed forbidden with everyone else.

Even Isabel had started to notice that something was wrong. Without Richard's constant attention, she often followed Edmund and Thomas around. Edmund could tell it pained Richard not to indulge his little sister, but it seemed as if the three of them were deliberately distancing themselves from their family. Edmund didn't know what that would achieve, but he hoped it would go back to normal after the battle was over and Baxter had been defeated.

He had been told very little about what was happening outside of Oldwick. Papa had been all around the country, coming back home sometimes for only an hour with his wife, before setting off again. Edmund didn't know if he was trying to persuade people to fight with them, or whether he was organising the soldiers for the battle. If Baxter had as many supporters as he'd heard, there was no way he didn't know about Papa's threat to him seizing the power.

With Thomas, he had discussed everything to do with what might happen, and now they were desperately trying to ignore the topic. Inevitably, their conversation would end up leading to any of their older brothers, and then that would make them worry. What if Arthur was captured by Baxter? What if Oliver was injured or maimed for life? What if Richard was killed? The concept of death didn't mean very much to Edmund because he'd never really experienced it first-hand - but that almost made the threat of it even harder to bear. And he didn't want to even think about the last time he'd see his brothers before they left for battle. Would that be the last time he saw them at all?

Mama had been the same as Arthur, Oliver and Richard - she seemed to be avoiding all of her children. He wondered if her greatest worry was for her husband or for her sons. But, he reasoned, Papa was a seasoned fighter, and had won many a battle for King Stephen. It seemed unlikely that he would have a problem battling his way through to Baxter - but that would leave the three boys by themselves.

Edmund turned over and tried to think of a different subject. He and Thomas were outside trying to enjoy the May sunshine; but no matter how much the sun shone, he couldn't enjoy it without his other brothers. He looked out over their land; its expanse stretched as far as he could see until it reached Brentwood Forest.

Would this still be their land in a few weeks? If the battle didn't go according to plan, they might lose their land as Edmund had heard happened to other Dukes under King Stephen, if they didn't obey him. Edmund didn't want to imagine this land belonging to someone else - or worse, belonging to Baxter and his family.

He wondered: did Baxter have sons like him? He knew that Baxter's wife was a lot younger than him, and by the marriage he had gained a lot of land. If Baxter did have children his age - then why was he putting so many families like his through this sort of torture? Every day was a task to get through, and neither he nor Thomas was sleeping very well with the knowledge that their brothers were just in the next room along. The toll on his parents must also be hard.

Edmund was almost looking forward to the battle, because at the least it would mean all the waiting would be over.

But he didn't want to know what would happen after the battle. The inevitable battle.

Thomas turned to him and they both looked at each other for a few moments, reading in each other's faces what they'd just been thinking; Edmund had been as close to Thomas as Edmund and Arthur were for as long as he could remember. They were very close in age.

"I'm bored," said Thomas, and Edmund murmured an agreement. They had been bored for the past two weeks but there was nothing they could do about it - everything interesting they normally did needed the supervision of Richard or either of the older two; besides, they didn't feel like doing anything exciting, especially when their plan to get the oldest boys having fun had spectacularly failed.

Edmund sat up and thought for a few moments. "We could go and see Mama. Maybe she'll want to do something to take her mind off the worrying."

Thomas looked up at him. "I guess she might want the company."

Edmund felt guilty that he hadn't thought about going to see Mama beforehand. They didn't really spend very much time with their mother now that they were growing out of childhood and ready to face manhood. His first instinct whenever he felt upset or lonely was to go to Thomas, but failing that then any of his older brothers worked just as well. He'd even go to Alice before he went to Mama, and for the first time he wondered if she was sad about that. She was sad that Arthur, Oliver and Richard were risking their lives for something that would only affect them indirectly, but he had never really wondered if she had cared for him in the same way as she did her heir.

The two got up off the grass and headed towards the house. Brinon Manor was the only home he'd ever lived in, and its familiarity comforted him somehow as they made their way back. If Baxter got hold on the land, it was likely he'd destroy the manor and build his own building on the land. Edmund felt a flicker of anger at that. He knew that his own father would never do anything like that; if he conquered another man's land, he'd make sure it was given to his wife and children rather than just seizing it himself. Well, that's what he thought Papa would do.

Mama was easy to find; she had been spending a lot of time in the library since Papa hadn't been around much, and it was here that Edmund and Thomas found her now. She had a book open on her lap, but it was only open on the first page and she was sat staring out of the window with her head in her hands. Edmund realised how little he knew about his mother; his awe and admiration had always gone to Papa, and he'd been raised by his nurses. Mama had always been there if he needed her, but when he didn't she didn't have a very big place in his life.

"Edmund." She stood up when she saw them enter. "Thomas."

Matilda closed the book on her lap and allowed if to drop to the floor, unnoticed. Edmund suddenly felt awkward around his own mother; he didn't know what to say to her that she wanted to hear, and he was scared he'd say something that would upset her. He tried hard to think of a subject he could talk about that wouldn't involve Arthur, Oliver, Richard or Papa.

"What book were you reading?"

He thought she would jump at the chance for pointless conversation, but instead she reached out her arms, knelt on the ground and pulled them both into an embrace. The unfamiliar intimacy of it made Edmund want to cry, and his eyes stung for a few moments before he hastily blinked them away; he didn't want Thomas, as the younger brother, to think that he was as worried as he actually was. At that thought, he realised that Arthur, Oliver and Richard only weren't talking to him about Baxter for that exact same reason.

It was only when they pulled away that he realised Mama was crying. He moved as if to wipe away her tears, but she held up her hand to stop him, and tried to compose herself.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I'm sorry Thomas."

The words were spoken softly, and they scared Edmund. Mama was normally practical and level headed; such emotion coming from her was unusual.

"Sorry for what, Mama?" asked Thomas, his eyes wide with most likely the same thoughts as Edmund.

"Sorry for-" she broke off, trying to conceal a sob. It wrenched Edmund's heart, but he could only watch, helplessly, as Mama tried to compose herself.

"I'm sorry that I can't do more to protect you."

She made as if to hug them again, but changed her mind at the last minute and pretended to adjust her hair.

"I can't protect you from the new King. I can do nothing but sit at home while my husband and sons might be risking their lives. Christ, I feel so helpless!"

Edmund bit his lip. There was something he hadn't been told, and now he could probably understand why. "The new King". That was something he didn't want to find out about. If Baxter had already had himself crowned, there was very little hope for the rest of them. All of Papa's supporters who had been mostly undecided would back the King over a rebel duke.

"The new King?" asked Thomas, tactlessly delivering the same question that had been on Edmund's lips.

At his words, Matilda couldn't control her tears. They fell easily from her eyes and onto her knees and, as if she couldn't control her arms, they reached out and once more embraced her two youngest sons.

She buried her head into Edmund's shoulder as if trying to find a degree of comfort in there. Edmund put his arms around Mama's neck, and felt Thomas do the same; they stood there in that position until Mama brushed them away, and wiped the tears from their eyes.

"You deserve to know, boys." The pain in her eyes terrified Edmund. "Alexander Maynet has had himself crowned in Hartbury. He's King Alexander now," she said bitterly.

"But..." Edmund couldn't bring himself to ask. "Papa..."

"Your father is walking willingly towards his death!" she exclaimed, and then immediately put her hands over her mouth at the terrified expression that appeared on both her youngest sons' faces.

"I didn't mean that, sweethearts. I didn't mean it. Your father and the boys will be fine."

Edmund shook his head in disbelief. If Mama thought that Papa didn't have a chance at beating Baxter - King Alexander - then there was no way Arthur, Oliver or especially Richard would have any chance of getting out of the battle alive. He was suddenly gripped with an indescribable terror; losing three brothers and a father was something that he knew he'd never be able to cope with. He put his hands to his face to block out the picture of Mama's face; if she had given up, there was no hope.

He looked up again as Thomas gave a sob, and watched - almost detached - as Mama leant forwards and drew him into a hug. She rubbed his back and whispered into his ear. Edmund couldn't hear what she was saying, but knew they wouldn't be reassurances that everyone would be all right. Saying the lie out loud had made all three of them realise just how big a lie it was.

He sank to the ground. Arthur, Oliver and Richard would know about this by now, and he wondered if they were as frightened as he was. If he were them, he'd not go into a battle if he knew that he wasn't going to lose it, and it seemed impossible to think that Papa would still go ahead and fight, knowing that it would cost the lives of many men who had sons like him. The world of politics was still a mystery to him and he didn't know that he wanted to get any more involved in it that he was.

He turned his head as the door swung open and looked up to see Isabel enter the room. She was looking dishevelled and Edmund guessed she'd been alone in her room for a bit otherwise she wouldn't normally have come looking for company. At her arrival, Mama broke apart from Oliver and went to her side.

"Isabel. Are you okay, sweetheart?"

Isabel looked from Mama to Thomas and finally to Edmund. He could tell that she was taking in the tears on Mama's face, and the frightened and angry looks on his and Thomas's faces, and wondering what they had been talking about. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried in front of anyone - let alone Isabel - and suddenly felt foolish.

"What were you doing?" Her eyes flickered to the abandoned book on the floor. They had always been taught to respect the books in the library and, together with everything else that had been throwing Isabel's world out of line, this must have been one more small thing to add to her list.

"We were just talking, sweetheart. Don't worry."

Mama tried to smile down at Isabel but it looked as if it was physically straining her face. Edmund went over to his little sister, and tried to imagine how Richard would react to something like this. He put his arm over her shoulder and bent down to her level.

"Don't worry, Isabel. It's nothing that you need to worry about, we were just talking."

He realised that was exactly what his mother had just said and felt stupid. To cover up his embarrassment, he put both of his arms around Isabel and drew her into an embrace.

"Don't worry," he whispered into her ear, stroking her hair like he'd always seen Richard do. It was a nice sensation, having someone you cared about in your arms, and Edmund wondered why he'd never paid much attention to her before. As the youngest child, most of his memories of her contained her crying or being immature and ruining his games. He had often suspected that she wasn't told off as often as them because she was a girl and because she was the youngest, but now he saw that it was just because she was so young - and she didn't know any better.

If there was anything he could do to protect her from the threat that Baxter posed to their family, he would do it. Arthur and Oliver and Richard could do all the fighting, but, as the oldest brother apart from them, he was going to do whatever he could to make sure that they didn't get hurt.

Thomas had also walked away from his mother and was putting his arm around Isabel. The three of them stayed in that embrace until Edmund started to feel uncomfortable with the closeness of it; although he and Thomas were always together, they didn't often physically display their love of each other's company.

Self-consciously, Edmund backed off slightly and watched as Isabel tightened her grip on Thomas. As the two youngest, Edmund felt a surge of brotherly protection for them.

He glanced back at Mama. She was staring at the three of them with something close to longing on her face, and Edmund had to look away before he started crying.

None of my stories will be updated during November because I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Updates will continue in December, never fear!

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