I look over, just a quick glance. I never thought, never dreamed I'd be this close to her again...

My body pulls towards her. It yearns for her. I turn back to the T.V. and try to remember what’s going on in the movie.

I imagine touching her, forcing myself on her, pinning her to the bed, so little effort, she looks so tiny now. I could probably overpower her.

I stop and think about what I'm thinking about. When did I become so twisted? So sick in the head? But she’s so close; if I just reach out I could touch her, Just an arms length away.

So close.

I look away, just a slight turn of my head, in the other direction. I could do this.

The bed creaks and I look at her, she lying down, tossing me a pillow.

"Go ahead and lay down."

I freeze up.

Is she crazy? Does she not see it, or feel it. How could she not realize what I'm thinking. I feel like I'm being so obvious.

I don't move, I hold myself in place. Cause if I move it’s gonna be me moving on top of her. She's so vulnerable right now, I could easily take her. My weight alone would keep her down, pinned to the bed while my hands wander over her.

Shit. Must watch movie.

I say something stupid. Laugh. Make it not seem awkward. Is it awkward? Or is that only for me? Because I'm thinking of things that shouldn't be thought about.

She's so fucking close.

I'd just have to pretend that I was lying down. She wouldn't notice. How can she not notice? Isn't there some instinct that should be warning her to run? To get away from me.

I grip my hands in front of me, keeping them to myself.

It hurts... The pull on my body, the mere thought hurts. Being this close to her and not being able to do anything, its painful. I can't do it. I wont let myself.

Gotta have some self control.

I'm not like them.

The movies over.

I say something else.

She's getting up, moving away from me.

Good... she's safe.

She grabs cloths and goes to walk out but turns to look at something, then turns back around to leave, to change.

Hello?

She laughs, "Never mind, don't think about that."

Heh, yeah right.

"But now of course I'm gonna think about it."

She walks back and grabs her bunny costume. But pauses.

"Do it!" I say. "I won’t try anything." I laugh again. So fucking obvious!

She walks out.

I sigh.

What’s she thinking? She must be out of her mind not to notice. I have to calm down.

I take in a deep breath and shakily let it out.

When she enters she asks for the shirt on her desk, wanting to cover up a little.

Damn.

I reach it to her, and then sit back down on the bed. I brace myself.

She puts it on and walks in.

I speak, but I have no idea what I'm saying.

All I'm thinking is, so easy! It would be so easy! How could she be this trusting?

We talk a little, I compliment her.

She walks out, I collapse on the bed.

So hard to keep myself still. It would be so easy.

I sigh again. And after a while she reenters in normal clothes.

We leave.

We're leaving.

I'm losing my chance...

Good.

She needs to stay away from me.

Far away.

But I don't want to lose her. Not again. I just have to deal with it. This pain. I just have to push it aside. Keep it hidden.

I just have to keep my hands off of her.