I hate how they always assume I will be there forever, without payment in return. That they assume I will be there forever by their side and never ask for anything. Yet in reality, I'm human. I need a lot and have little. I cannot be there for everyone and not get anything. Lesser more, I know where I stand in line; At the end.

I know I'm being selfish, asking for something in return for me being kind. I know things are going to be hard without anyone to help me. I know that no one knows about my being alone, and I plan to keep it that way. No one has to know I need things normal people take for granted like family, love, hope, misery...

Nothing like being isolated in a white room sitting in a chair, nothing to do... Nothing to live for... Nothing to wonder about because I have already thought about everything I ever wondered about. I knew this was what being dead on the inside was like. You don't think anymore because you have no conscience to tell you what to think about. And you never feel. Love, hate, grief, pain... Nothing.