Mills College Anime Club

Chapter 1

"This first week of classes has been such a headache. I barely have time now to run to eat lunch, go visit a few of the club booths, and then I have freaking chemistry lab. I don't know why I put up with all this, except..." Mike made a face, mopping sweat off of his brow with his hand.

His companion (and friend since kindergarten) Gracie stared at him through her thick-lensed glasses that looked as if they were coated with petroleum jelly, every movement of her eyes hidden from anyone who wished to see them. "Why aren't you going to the Gay Pride Association table?"

"Yeah, I am gay, but..." He made a motion towards the table. "I don't think those people are going to be the friendliest to me. Why don't we just go to the Anime Club table and call it a day?"

"But....they look so..AWESOME!" Gracie jumped up and down. "I mean, they're so fashionable and...and...bishounen! I totally want to do them! Pleeeeaaaase?"

Mike sighed, "Whatever," as he had his childhood friend drag him towards the Gay Pride Association table.

"Hello there!" lilted one of the overly flamboyant students at the table. "I see we have a lesbian and a- GASP- rare male straight ally?"

"Uh, dude, I'm gay."

"Aw, pish. Gay men do NOT have crew cuts. Anyways- and the lesbian?"

Gracie became very angry; the tablers had stumbled onto her berserk button. "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!"

The other tabler looked up at her and said, "Your sensible clothes beg to differ."

A slight pause came over the table.

"I'm just dragging Mike here because he needs to get a date! Don't you Mike? Oh, and if you two want to go shopping with me...can I give you my number? Oh, and you two should totally make out right here in the booth and..."

"Dyke," the first tabler opined.

"Totally," agreed the second.

Gracie, by now, was completely ignoring them- well, except for the scenes of delicious man-sex she was imagining in her head featuring the two guys at the table gently taking each other on a bed of roses, yelling about how their love was so forbidden...

"What's with her?" asked the first tabler.

Mike answered, "It's better not to ask."

"So," said the second one, "Want to join?"

"It depends. When do you meet?"

"Thursdays at seven." The second tabler smiled.

"I have some free time for that. What do you do?"

"Protest against injustice. You know, fight for Macintoshes when the library wants to put in PC's..."

"Wait, hold the phone. What do Macs have to do with gay rights?" Mike scratched his head.

"Wow, we must be all muscle and no brains," snickered the first tabler cattily. "You know, only straight people use PC's."

"Yes," chimed in the second tabler, "why do you think Apple designed the logo with rainbows?"

"PC's are easier for me to use, and..."

"BREEDER!" chimed in the two tablers.

"No, I'm gay. My lesbian mom raised me with her partner Shirley. What more gay cred do I have to give you guys?"

The two tablers looked at each other and smirked.

"What's your major?" asked the first.

"Choose wisely!" cautioned the second.

"Pre-med."

"You mean nursing, right? Gay men aren't doctors." The first tabler put his hand behind his head in confusion.

"No, pre-med."

"If you're really gay, you must be lying," said the second tabler. "Umm...let me guess...theater?"

"No, I said pre-med." Mike was growing more and more frustrated, but his calm exterior refused to show it. "Why won't you two listen to me?"

"Because you're obviously a breeder. I mean, look at you. No fashion sense, a crew cut, and you want to become a doctor! My foot you're gay!"

The second one started laughing at him. "And if you really are gay, you obviously hate yourself. This club is about gay pride, not gay shame. Honey, it's in the name for crying out loud! I mean, we all know the butch ones hate themselves! We're all fairies on the inside, sweetie cakes! You'd better realize it sooner or later or you'll never get a boyfriend!"

Mike sighed. "Gracie, let's go. I told you this wasn't worth our time."

"But Mike....these guys are so cool! I mean, they're definitely an upgrade from you in the fag department! Plus they're so pretty and cute and..."

"I said, let's go."

Gracie hesitantly followed Mike, stars still in her eyes from meeting her two ultimate fags-cum-yaoi-boys.

----

The two of them strode towards the anime table, Mike trying to find where exactly the line was, and Gracie still looking around with a glazed look in her eye.

Upon finding the table, the two of them found that they were standing behind a very loud, rude, uncouth gentleman who was currently engaging the tablers with a lewd discussion of hentai.

“You see…um, what’s your name again? I’d remember it, but your tits are so huge and…”

As annoyed as she was, the first tabler, a girl with long red hair, grayish-blue eyes, and, of course, D-cup breasts, kept her composure, ever smiling. “Renee. Renee Vega.”

“Oh…umm…Renee…yeah. For a minute there I was just going to call you “Tits”. So…does this club have Naughty Anal Nurses 4 in its library? I mean, it’s nowhere near as good as Naughty Anal Nurses 1 and 2, but…”

A short boy with stick-straight, mousy hair, freckles, and black-rimmed glasses which were far too large for the size of his face spoke up. “You’re making me terribly uncomfortable.”

“Sorry, dude.” The uncouth boy paused for a second. “Why the hell is your voice so high? Someone cut off your nuts?”

“If you must know, I was born female. As for my life when I was known as a girl- do. Not. Ask.”

“Sweet, a trans guy! Always wanted to fu- erm, meet- one of those!”

“Greeeaaat, a chaser.” The mousy boy looked up at the other one again. “Listen, I don’t want to hear your straight-boy bullshit. I AM a man, thank you, and…”

“Yeah, I know that. And I’m bi, for crying out loud! I’d buy yaoi except it’s not pervy enough for me. Geez, no cum shots, no actual dicks, none of the good stuff. Straight hentai…boobs, pussy, the whole nine yards! But guy-on-guy…” He sulked. “I have to resort to real-life porn for that!”

“I know what you mean. That’s why I write my own fanfiction porn and post it online.” He pushed up his glasses with his middle finger.

“Hey, I read fanfic porn! What fandoms do you write for?”

“Original Gundam. And ONLY Original Gundam.”

“…I’ve never heard of it.”

The boy with the glasses stood up. “You’ve NEVER heard of Gundam?!? Excuse me, Mr. Blasphemer, Gundam is the single greatest anime franchise known to man- well, the UC timeline anyway. Wing and 00 are overrated piles of crap. If you say anything bad about Gundam one more time, I swear, on the soul of Yoshiyuki Tomino, and on my identity as Alistair Howard, I’ll…”

“Alistair, huh? Cute name, bro.”

“Like I fucking want to know yours”, Alistair scoffed.

“Erm…Randy. Randy Alvarez.” He smiled.

“I was being sarcastic, you twit.” Alistair pushed up his glasses with his middle finger again.

“Guys? Can we stop fighting so we can get the line moving?” Renee asked.

“Fine.” Alistair sulked and sat back down, as Randy signed up for the listserv. “Next?”

Mike walked up and smiled. “Me and my friend Gracie are here to sign up for anime club?”

“Sure, sure. What kinds of anime are you interested in?” Renee smiled.

“YAOI!” shrieked Gracie.

“Um, me, not so much. I am gay, and I got rejected from Gay Pride Union, but I’m more into shounen. Fighting shows and the like.”

Renee’s smile seemed warmer and more inviting than it had been previously. “We get that story a lot. The GLBTQ group here on campus is a bit…liberal…I mean, judgmental…I’m sorry to have offended you by calling it ‘liberal’, if that’s what you believe, and…”

“No problem. I don’t offend easily.” He turned to Alistair. “I heard your story. I’ve always wanted to meet someone like you, and I take it that you were in the same spot as me…”

“Yes, I was,” Alistair hissed. “Just don’t ask.”

“Sorry!”

“Anyway,” said Renee, “sign-ups are to your right. I want your name and e-mail for the listserv. Our first meeting is Friday night at eight.”

“Awesome,” said Mike as he wrote down his name. “Gracie?”

She, too, put down her name and e-mail.

“Anyways, see you Friday!” Mike chimed as he led Gracie away from the club fair.

“Those two seemed nice,” Renee smiled. “Don’t you think so, Al?”

“First off, don’t call me ‘Al’. Second off, that girl seemed like a complete bitch. I mean, she just seems like the kind of yaoi fangirl who ogles pretty boys together without knowing her impact on the actual gay men’s community. Next thing you know, she’ll ask me where she can get a sex change so that she can re-enact her fantasies.” He groaned; he had met many fangirls like that online, which is why he usually was stealth on fanfiction sites.

“And Mike? He was nice.”

“Yeah. Too nice. Though he was sort of hot…” Alistair started murmuring.

“What?”

“He seems like such a fucking Pollyanna, is what I said!”

“Oh.”

The two of them continued to table until it was time for them to go eat dinner.