when i strap my helmet on, i'll be long gone
'cos i've been dying to leave

-cave in by owl city

-

today was one of those days when i felt alone in the crowd,
and i really wanted to be physically alone. in a place with just me, my ipod, my laptop, my thoughts. my Moping Corner just didn't cut it.

i wanted to be apart from all the hypocrisy and gossip and noise and clatter and cheating and lying and selfishness and unkind people and people i have to pretend to like, and the people i really love but sometimes feel distant from for various reasons. there's such an empty feeling that comes from that.

and i know i'd miss those precious few people,
but sometimes i just want to go to a different place. a different skyline. a new, if not altogether different, world, along with a new life.

(and then i remember that, on a smaller scale, i have lived new lives in new worlds. and it's always disillusioning when i realise how quickly the new becomes the old and i just want to go home. then, soon, i'm wishing to find something new and different again.)

i think i might make a good nomad, so i'd never have to be bored and wouldn't have a home to miss.
but then again, it's not hard to see how prone i am to loneliness.

4 of november, wednesday, 2009. 20:01.