mind bickering wonderland
taste like dissatisfaction and lies
looks like unwanted txts in the recycling bin
could be misinterpretation
although tight hugs,visiting,& nightly messages
are a very unlikely reason
unable to let go of memories
that apparently meant nothing
a simple "I'm not interested"
would have sufficed
but to play games in my head
and render what you thought you meant to say
is so down right unfair, and cold
to pull at damaged heartstrings
and touch and tease what you don't want
makes ones self esteem drop negatively
to force, and muster up embraces
and place unsuspecting victims on the back burner
while you watch and throw out your digits randomly
and when raindrops fall down
it's so easy for you to scurry away unbothered
and when a simple txt for explanation passes by
you appear as if love is nonexistent
and when I want to believe I'm not wrong
you throw out the bait again to lure me in
purely wanting you alone I recollect
the thoughts I tried to throw away before you called
I'm given hope once more.
my guard dropped purely because I want you so
And the need for your attention, your affection..
is killing the last part of me that remains sane enough..
to still hang on, and remind myself it will be okay
..because loving you alone is not enough
and silence is poison
agonizing, unbearable poison
but boys will be boys
and men will be men
I've yet to S E E the difference
but once more I'll try to recollect in wonderland
what means more to me than what I've felt in 3 years
ofcourse.. I'll never understand why I even try anymore.
Because I always end up the one being hurt, and confused.

_...-+=Mahal Kita Benjamin B.=+-..._