First, I'll take the one of the four Big Ones. You know, death, sex, politics, and religion. I'll tackle them all, honey, trust me. First, my religion...

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I'm one of those religious freaks. You know, the ones who belt out songs praising God at the top of their lungs. The ones who annoy you by poking pamphlets in your face whenever you walk out the door. I'm a Christian, dear, not a Jehovah's Witness. I know what you're thinking.

I look at most religion and see idiocy, paganism, etc. I look at Christianity and see a God. I see my God. You see, Christianity is different from most religions. Most religions expect you to give something to your deity each time you sin, but outside of that, there's no big reason to obey.

You went and slept with the local prostitute? I see, son. Just dump ten bucks into the donations basket and I'll meet you at the brothel on Saturday. You robbed a bank? Ah. Put 15% into the donations and I'll help you rob First National Bank on Monday. I hear they're full up with cash.

But if you're a woman it's different.

You're the local prostitute? You slut! Now we have to stone you, even though I spent the night in your bed a week ago! You helped your hubby rob the bank? You bitch! Now I'm going to decapitate you! Right after I finish robbing First National!

Christianity is different. With the God I know, you offer him your love and he offers you his love, his mercy, his protection, his everything in exchange, and tosses your soul into the bargain.

What father do you know who would give up his own beloved son, his literally perfect son, precious and untainted, completely free of charge, to save a billion people who don't even care about him or his son, or his sacrifice, his ultimate sacrifice? I know only one, and he happens to live in heaven. Of course, he has every right. He happens to have created heaven.

And Jesus! An amazing man, wise, loves everyone enough to die for them! Incredible. Simply incredible.

I am not an emotional person, so I cannot say that I wept when I learned about Jesus relinquishing his life for us. All I know is that something snapped, something deep inside me, in a little corner of that thing I call my soul. I gave in and became a Christian.

I'm a daughter of God. I can't lie. I've done things I shouldn't have. So have you. The big difference is that if you don't have my Christ and my God, and my Holy Spirit, you're empty. Every sin empties you more. Grace can fill you up. Do you want to be full? Full of joy and hope and peace...

I guess that I should bow out now. If you have any questions about anything I write, don't hesitate to ask. I may take a while, but I'll answer. Also, If you want to set up a public debate on the matter, I would be very pleased to comply. So too with a private one.

Don't misunderstand me. I would like to be friends. But time is running out. I have to do something, and do it fast. The hourglass is almost empty. I'm ready to make an impact now!