From the ash and darkness that I had borne on my shoulders from all my years past came a pretty little ghost of a young girl. Like Eve she sprouted from the very earth itself, clothed in a simple dress of white as brilliant as the moonlight, and with hair the color of polished cherry. That child glowed with the radiance of purity and on her unburdened shoulders a pair of strong, snow-white wings ruffled themselves to be rid of the ash that clung to them. The girl ran her hands through her hair to shake loose the clinging ash and dusted off her dress. Something in her mannerism was so familiar, yet my answers were just beyond my reach. They were hidden on her face that was, for now, turned away from me. I noticed that on her hands and feet she wore bangles of white gold and silver, all engraved with birds, flowers and vines. Around her waist she wore a wreath of lilies of the valley like a delicate belt around her slender waist. Who was this angel, this translucent little girl, who was born from the scars I had borne upon my body? What answers did she hold for me?

By now it should be plain to see. she said in a wise, laughing voice. My dear lady, you are me. The sound of a crystal bell chimed through the air and pleasantly lingered as she wheeled around to fix on me those brilliant mocha eyes.

I saw myself in that child… myself as I had been at that beginning of my time. I had been innocent then, before my demons. I had been strong and wise beyond my years with not a sad thought in the world, nor a single nightmare to terrorize my thoughts. I was not sure what to think or how to react to that familiar, glowing face. She noticed my expression of utter happiness mixed with confusion and she laughed. Never before had I heard such music flow from my lips. I had to smile at her. My arms and wings opened for her as a mother opens her arms to call her baby to her. The girl smile and on bare feet and fluttering wings she flew into my embrace. All my life I had waited to see her. Since my wings were ripped from me and I fell from the sky, I was afraid that I had lost her. So many years I spent searching for this girl, this form of who I once was, and yet she had been there all along; my little guardian angel.

Her laughter was the sound of crystal bells and it filled the stagnant quite of the surrounding woods. The vivacity of her essence was the promising rays of sunlight in my gloomy world to drive away the fog of uncertainty that forever clouded my dreaming eye and hidden my winding road. Together we took flight into the empty treetops while our companion watched our games with a fatherly smile. On graceful wings we dipped and dodged through the twisting branches. With the playful energy of the sparrows we chased one another, colliding, rushing, and dancing with delight in midair. What a thrill it was to feel the excitement only a child can truly possess. And what an exhilarating thing it was to finally soar above the earth, to jump from the trees, to flip and twist in expression without chains or restless spirits to hinder my emotional ballet.

My child and I landed back on the earth once the activity and elation had worn us down and robbed us of our breath. She was still laughing and I was still smiling with our hearts finally at peace. The answers I came into this space to find… never before, in my weary mind, did I ever dream to find them in this dreary, dreaming valley of life and death from a girl I believed to be long since dead, and a tainted stranger beneath a hallow tree. By the powers how could it be that such a creature was able to save me?

You’ve found the answers you were searching for. my companion said. Now you’re free to search for more.

“And who are you, stranger, to send me away?” I asked.

One who has shown you the light of the day. he spoke to me and blessed me with a smile one last time.

Go and live. my child coaxed me, pointing a finger behind me at the hidden road I had long ago forsaken. I nodded at the girl and she gave me the slightest of nods in return. Stranger, what shall we do today?

My darling girl, who am I to say? the old man asked with a laugh of amusement. Once more my child glanced at me over her shoulders. I looked back into those dark, wise orbs. Who can say what happened then. We said goodbye and hello without words. I received her silent vow that she would never leave my side. I’m not sure what was spoken between us, but I seemed to understand. She turned from me and the pair of spirits walked away hand in hand. I sighed at the two of them, feeling a bit afraid and alone. As I continued to watch them walk away, something struck me as odd. The forest we stood in was somehow growing brighter. The grey of dull and misery was lifting away, but by what? I touched my cheek, which had grown warm, and I took another look at my child’s wings. I had to laugh to laugh to myself with happiness as her snowy wings gleamed with a halo of brilliance in the light of the early morning sun.

The fog through the trees lifted with a sigh of freedom. What had been clouded before became so very warm and clear. Past the trees I saw a forest stream bubbling away over rocks and reeds. From beneath the dead autumn leaves the deep green grasses of summer and the exhilarating colors of hundreds of wildflowers sprung up to bring my budding woods to life. High above our heads the barren trees had sprouted leaves, flowers and fruit. In their branches the songs of many birds danced over the dew-sweet air. I pivoted around to take in all the life around me all at once. I absorbed it until I felt ready to burst. That is when I saw the road.

It was little more than a narrow trail of bare earth and stone hewn into the grass, lined with violets and wild lavender blossoms. But a single wolf sat beside it, her grey and brown fur vibrantly shining in the patchy sunlight that managed to pass through the thick emerald canopy overhead. She waited for me to join her, patiently sitting and watching me with her firm green eyes. I had forgotten her too in this forsaken space; my spirit guide and guardian. It was she who once guided my sets and listened to my sorrowful songs, as the stranger had done for me.

Travel your road and do not fear. his voice echoed in my still mind. Know that always I’ll be waiting here. I’ll be on your shoulder, forever near, and always I’ll be loving you, dear. All I needed was to hear those words, to feel that love again. I set foot upon my given path and my wolf joined me ay my side. She looked at me, then at the deep wilderness ahead, asking me if I was ready for the challenge. I did not need to answer her. We both already knew, but neither of us moved forward. I wanted one last glance at my companion’s face.

Off by the forest brook my child was splashing in the cool waters with a wolf cub running with her along the bank. Though her dress clung to her and her hair was matted with water and mud, she simply did not care. She would enjoy the freedom she had never been able to feel and she too would live her life as she should have from the start. Her guardian- my companion- sat observantly beneath an elder tree. His stormy eyes were smiling, and for once it was a genuine smile. Silently I apologized for my doubts and tears, for my lifelong fears, and I praised him as I would a god. For surely this stranger of wisdom and years was nothing less than a god, though his soul was darker than a new moon midnight. The question was still plaguing my mind: How could a god bear such sinful wings? As I continued to stare, my stranger lifted his wings to adjust the thorns again.

A realization washed over me.

My wolf licked my hand and with the widest grin of disbelief I turned away from my strange companion. I had become so much of a fool. How could I not have seen it before? With my feet on the road and my head held high I raised my wings into the sky. The woods up ahead were shadowed and bleak, but there I knew were the answers I’d seek. So I moved on into the dawn ready to answer more. And I smiled at my realization:

His wings were darker than they had been before.