I close my eyes, I draw my knees into my chest and hug them tight, folding myself in half. It can’t hurt this much, it shouldn’t hurt this much.

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again but you broke me

Now I can't feel anything

Resting my head on my knees, I sigh, it’s dark in here, nobody can see me. It’s okay to cry. I can’t be seen, I can’t be heard, it’s just me, my memory, my head and this song.

When I love you it's so untrue

I can't even convince myself

When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

You’ve done this to me boy, you’ve done this, nobody to blame but you. Took me into your arms, but you dropped me, shattered me like a glass hitting a wall.

Oh

It tears me up

I try to hold on but it hurts too much

I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

I know its not your fault baby boy, I’ve always known it wasn’t your fault, that you would have chosen to stay with me if you could, but your leaving me had the worse effect, even though you didn’t choose to leave.

Oh

The truth hurts and a lie's worse

How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Every night I see that day flash before my eyes, every day I live the consequences. But everyday I ask myself if everyone else has forgotten, if I am the only one who remembers you should be at school with us.

Oh

What are we doing

We are turning into dust

Playing house in the ruins of us

Boy how the hell do I keep going, when I can’t move on from us, from you, from them. Every relationship since you has been a mistake, I’m not ready to let go of you, it’s clear now. Did I make the others treat me the way they did because I couldn’t let go? Baby, I need you back, you are my life. I’m still stuck in 2008, I don’t want to leave you there alone.

Running back through the fire when there's nothing left to save

It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

It’s been sixteen months, a month for each of your years, I should be letting go, Goddess knows I need to, but I can’t there’s the bungee cords attached between me and you that won’t let me move. You have my heart, it died with you, it belongs to you. I don’t want it back, I need you to keep it, I need you to keep me.

Oh

It tears me up

I try to hold on but it hurts too much

I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

I cry myself to sleep every night, every single night, doesn’t matter how tired I am, hell half the time I don’t even get to sleep, I just nightmare, I dream rarely and never of you, because you don’t want me to.

You can't play on broken strings

You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real

I’ve been told I need to forgive those who took you from me. I can’t forgive the seven who did, so please don’t ask me to, least of all can I forgive the person who began this, nor the person for the reason of it all. I won’t forgive.

Oh

The truth hurts and a lie's worse

How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Don’t ask me to lie to myself any longer, I won’t try and convince myself of anything anymore, I know what happened that day, I know why, and that just won’t ever change.

But we're running through the fire when there's nothing left to save

It's like chasing the very last train when we both know it's too late

Too Late

I pull Thumper from my bed into my arms and put him in between my legs and my chest, clinging to him and your shirt. Gorgeous, I miss you, I need you, I want you, and I don’t think anybody gets just how much.

You can't play on broken strings

You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel

I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts and a lie's worse

How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

My phone rings, it’s singing ‘Stand’, for a moment I think it’s you, that you’ve come back, but boy I know you ain’t coming back. Your gone forever.

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

All I want for my 18th, for Christmas, is you, to be in your arms, to hear your laugh, to have your kiss. I love you.