This is a story.

It is a story about a dumb guy and a schizophrenic girl.

To go into more detail, it's about a dumb police officer and a schizophrenic murderer.

To go into even more detail, it's about a dumb police officer named James Evans and a schizophrenic murderer named Illyasviel Medvedev.

I'm not very good with details, am I?

Anyway. Throughout this story, you may find many strange things going on. You may think that James Evans is the dumbest guy on Earth. You may think that Illy is the creepiest girl on Earth. You may think that the middle part of the story is just crap. You're entitled to your views, but please do leave some comments.

The same person will not be playing both Illy and Evans. Two different people are writing the story together. You do not need to know their real names. You may just call them James and Illy.

If this is starting to sound like an MI6 James Bond style briefing to you, then don't bother reading on, just start the story.

The summary of the story is:

Illyasviel Medvedev loves to kill. She loves blood. She thinks of herself as a rose with thorns (that was more obvious than a teapot wearing a top hat dancing on the kitchen table) and likes to kill. Basically, Illy likes to kill people. Except on Sundays.

James Evans is a twenty two year old collage graduate who knows he's the dumbest guy on Earth and doesn't do anything to stop people from thinking that. He is still wondering how he even got a job with the police. He has a girlfriend called Yuki.

When these two people meet, disaster happens.

This conversation did not take place.

This message will self destruct in five seconds. Good luck, agent double oh nothing.

What the introduction says. Basically, this is a story written by a friend and me. We apologise if you find some of the chapters short (I do), but do keep in mind that we were writing this with a deadline (end of school). And we had to write this under the noses of teachers with eagle eyes, so...some chapters are quite short and we apologise for that. Please do read and leave reviews, though. See if you can tell who's writing which point of view.