Things I’d Rather be Doing

Well, here it is. The big one. The exam to end all exams—because we all know how well that phrase worked for World War I. The exam that makes all other exams quiver in their boots; granted, of course, that said exams are wearing boots. The exam that eats nails for breakfast sin leche. Note usage of Spanish right there; probably the only Spanish I still remember from high school.

So I did study.

Well, you know…

Between the facebook checks, which were just to make sure that no one had written something important on my wall that would be horrible to miss; email checks, for the same reason; coffee trips, because I need my caffeine; more facebook checks, because someone could have written something important in the last ten minutes; text answering, same reason; more coffee trips, because caffeine is what keeps college students from just falling over dead; more facebook, I’m not addicted… So I did study.

But this is the mother of all exams. And not one of those 1950’s mothers with the pearls and Leave it to Beaver. No, this mother was one of those scary mother goddesses that they worshipped in ancient cultures—I forget which. That won’t be on the test, though.

And now he’s walking around, passing out those evil blue booklets.

I think they’re glowing… Yep, with a purple aura. See, told you they were evil.

I can think of about a hundred things I’d rather be doing right now. Climbing over razor wire being one of them, battling gigantic carnivorous plants, running from velociraptors á la Jurassic Park. Note usage of French; I never even studied French.

Swimming in acid, being attacked and eaten by swarms of piranhas. Throwing myself off of the Empire State Building.

Did you know that if you threw a penny off of the Empire State Building, it would end up gaining enough force that if it hit someone on the street, it would kill them?

I wonder if someone ever did that. I mean, people used to jump off of it, right?

That’s a pleasant thought.

Oh great, he’s almost to my row.

Okay, okay. Just keep calm. You know this. So the reasons behind European colonization on the North American continent.

They wanted money. They wanted to rub it in the other countries’ faces.

Like England wanted to go up to France and be like “Haha! I’ve got more colonies than you do, loser! You’re just running after beavers up in Canada, eh!”

…I wonder what would happen if I just wrote that.

I mean, technically I’m somewhat right, so would I get some credit?

And here come the papers of doom. I can seriously see the purple aura of evilness…

I wonder if I could be excused if I claimed that the papers were radioactive?

I somehow doubt it.

…If I die, put down some awesome cause of death in my obituary. Death by exam would be totally uncool.

A/N: Yeah, this is basically my thought process during a test. It's amazing that I still manage to do pretty well.

And I made a bunch of Axis Powers Hetalia references in here. I feel ashamed. *hides head under blanket*