Don’t Wake Her

Stop screaming. You’re going to scare the baby.

Hush little baby, don’t you cry…

I said to stop screaming! Stop pounding! It won’t help anything, love. I have to take care of the baby. Don’t be selfish.

Now she’s crying. You upset the poor dear. It’ll take me hours to calm her down again.

...

There, now she’s gone to sleep. And there was only one last pound. You’ve quieted. See, you’re finally being a good husband.

I’ll set her in her cradle now. See how lovely she is as she sleeps. She has your mother’s bright green eyes and my father’s ash blonde hair. How beautiful. She fists her pink blanket in her tiny fingers. I’m sure that we have the most beautiful baby in the world.

You’re being so quiet. I’m so proud, my sweet husband.

Oh, but now there’s pounding on the door. Hush! Hush! You’ll wake the baby again.

I’ll just go to answer the door so they don’t wake the baby.

Who are you? Why are you on my porch?

Nothing’s wrong. My daughter just fell asleep. I’ve been fighting with her for hours.

My husband? He’s just in the kitchen. Making dinner.

I’d prefer you stay outside. You might wake the baby and I finally got her to sleep.

Screaming? That was probably just the baby. Or perhaps myself. I screamed at her a few times. You know how frustrating it can sometimes be.

All right. If you must. Just be quiet, please.

This is the living room. See, she’s sleeping right there.

That’s the kitchen.

I put the towel under the door so that the screaming wouldn’t irritate my husband. He’s suffering from a hangover, so…

No, no. Don’t go in there. He’ll be angry.

Please stop…

Stop!

Don’t open the door. It’ll hurt the baby.

The gas will hurt the baby.

A/N: ...Yes. Not sure how to respond to this one. I'm not sure if this is even possible, but it wanted to be written so I gave in.

I think I've been reading too much Edgar Allan Poe recently. ;)