Dear Subconscious,

I have just rearranged our room. I want to inform you again that you were present for this, so it should not come as a surprise that the mirror is on the opposite wall. The fact that your face is reflected in it every time without fail should not come as a shock either. Our poor heart cannot take much more of this when you wake us up in the middle of the night with a dream or some such thing. You see no one, I see no one, case closed.

Sincerely,

Conscious

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Conscious should really share the blame here; it was her idea to watch part of "Paranormal Activity"...