Dear Subconscious,

If you treasure our eyebrows and our sanity you will stop making me look at pictures of Jeffree Star. We didn't even know it was a man until we had been wishing we had his hair for half an hour. That thing is a freakish, wretched byproduct of the “scene”. You must ignore all the colorful clothes! Navigate away from that hellacious Facebook page! Anyone with Hello Kitty clothing past the age of 11 has issues that even years of delving will not uncover. I am in favor of people made of flesh, not plastic, and hope you will take this sentiment to heart when you send the next urge to look at candy-pink people.

And a side note: it's not helping that you keep reminding us that we will never be that pretty with or without lady parts.

Sincerely,

Conscious

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One of my Facebook friends was a "Fan" of Jeffree Star. The only other time I had ever heard of him/her was in that Medic Droid song... I got curious. I was looking at the pictures. Then I came upon one where s/he was shirtless... and a sickly horror descended upon my psyche. Poor world.