Schizoid

Chapter One:

Summary:“Maria had always heard voices, even when she was a little girl. But, as she gets into her teen years, she realizes that she’s definitely different from the other kids. After her real parents find her talking to the voices one day, they immediately decide to put her into the mental hospital. When she comes out, she finds that her parents put her up for adoption and she is now being moved across half the country in with a young couple who swears they can help her. Maria’s always had a problem with people; her father a molester, her mother an drug addict. Maria wants to get better but can she finally ignore the voices that have plagued her for years?”

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I sat in my class, chewing on my pencil eraser, trying hard to ignore Shadow, who sat in the desk beside me, talking the shit out of me. I kept shaking my head every so often, trying to get his shadowy image to leave my head but he refused to go away. I really hated first grade; he always made it horrible.

“I’m not going to go away,” he giggled, his eyes turning a horrible red color and I cringed.

“Leave me alone,” I hissed under my breath and he shook his head no. I tightened my grip around my pencil and nearly moaned as he started singing the Barney song out loud. My pencil started to crack under the intense pressure but I didn’t care. I wanted the voice to stop and I wanted him to leave me alone.

“Shadow!” I hissed more, my pencil shattering completely and I flung it to the floor. I barely glanced at my classmates when they stopped to look back at me.

“Maria!” I heard my teacher’s voice very faintly and I jerked my head up towards her voice. Her hands were sitting on her wide, fat hips and Shadow and I snickered. “What are you doing? Who are you talking to?” she asked sternly, her eyes narrowed at me.

“I was talking to Shadow!” I said loudly, throwing my tiny hand out in the direction of Shadow.

“I’m not here, remember?” he smarted off, hoping off the desktop and smirked. I groaned and picked up one of the pencil pieces that had broken off.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I screamed at Shadow, throwing the pencil as hard as I could.

Since I had thrown the sharper end of the pencil, it had landed point down into a classmates eye. I didn’t see him; Shadow was blocking my way from seeing anyone behind him. I barely glanced in the boy’s direction and all of everyone else when they ran to his side to see if he was ok.

“It was your fault Shadow!” I squealed and my teacher grabbed me by my upper arm and dragged me up to the principal’s office. I remember lashing out and biting Ms. Fat Hips on her hand and she screamed, cursing to high heavens about my attitude. My butt became glued to the chair while they called my parents. I barely listened to them; Shadow was screaming and teasing and taunting me as I sat in the uncomfortable, icky green leather chair for him antagonizing me.

“Aww, what’s wrong. Did I get you in trouble?” he taunted, laughing at me. I growled and reached out, expecting my small hands to wrap around his neck. Instead, I came out of my daze and noticed I was hanging onto empty air and the office ladies were staring at me. I dropped my hands and stuck my tongue out at them.

“Leave me alone!” I shouted at them and they quickly ducked their heads, going back to their typing and whatever else they were doing.

“Maria, your parents are on their way. This is the third time this week.” Principal Hooter (yes, even at that age, I made fun of her name) explained, stepping in front of me and getting to my level. I rolled my eyes and looked in the other direction. I didn’t really care as long as Daddy didn’t decide to do the usual whenever I got in trouble.

“Fine,” I said, folding my arms across my chest and taking a deep breath. Principal Hooter sighed and stood up.

“Bring her parents in when they get here.” she instructed the ladies and they nodded their acknowledgement. I closed my eyes and I could hear my mother’s heels clacking into the office a few minutes later and I knew she was mad from how heavy she let them hit the floor. I winced and I could hear my father’s boots thumping and I shivered; he wasn’t in a good mood and I was in for it when I got home. I took a sniff of the air as they were ushered into her office and I could smell the funny smells on her clothes. I wrinkled my nose and quickly plugged it up by pinching my nose shut.

“Maria,” the little boy I had hit in the eye slowly got my attention. I glared in his direction and he jumped. I chuckled in my mind.

“Such a meanie,” Shadow said, sitting next to me.

“Go away,” I told Shadow but the little boy took it as I was talking to him. He burst into tears and ran from the office. The ladies looked over at me, frowns creasing their mouths. I stuck my tongue out at them and they frowned even more.

“If you keep frowning, you’ll get even more wrinkly and old.” I sassed off, my arms still folded across my chest and one of them sighed. I really hated them at times. They always had that look of pity on their faces.

“We’re going home,” I was suddenly yanked out of my chair by mommy and I stared up at her, her body screaming she was angry and daddy stood behind her, giving me the look. I gulped, knowing I shouldn’t have flipped out in class.

“I’m sorry!” I shrieked suddenly, clawing at mommy’s hands. Principal Hooter and the ladies were watching me now. “I didn’t mean to! Shadow made me do it!” I screamed, trying to twist from her grasp. Daddy had come up beside her, pushing her hand away and taking my tiny arm into his hard, calloused hand. I froze and became quiet, letting my body go limp and be dragged out from the office and then the school.

“You disgust me!” he roared as we reached the car. Mommy flung open the door and the car stank even worse than she did and I tried not to gag from the smell. A moment later he lifted me and tossed me in none too gently. I could barely see teachers and the principal come outside, all concerned for me.

“It’s all your fault!” I screamed at them and Shadow, who was sitting calmly next to me. He just gave a chilling laugh and smirked.

“I’m always going to be with you,” He said, touching my hair and I freaked out, twisting and turning to get away from his hand. Daddy swung the door shut tightly, still going on about how he hated me. Mommy had turned around and glared at me.

“Why can’t you be just a good little girl that way daddy won’t have to get out the belt when we get home?” she said, her eyes narrowed at me as she lit up a rolled piece of stuff she loved so much. I gulped down the knob of fear stuck in my throat as he got in on the driver’s side and glared back at me.

“Oh, she’s getting more than the belt tonight.” He ground out and I started shaking. I knew what that meant when we got home; I wouldn’t be going to school for a week, and from the looks of the boxes in the back of our van, I had a feeling we might be moving again. It was something that we did whenever there was a possibility that they would be discovered.

“It’s always your fault isn’t it Maria?” Shadow taunted in my ears and I put both hands over them to try to cover up the sound of his voice. He snickered and shifted to my other side, grabbing a hold of my shirt and running a finger down my chin.

“It’s quite fun isn’t it? To know you are the only one who can see and hear me.” he giggled and pushed me back against the seat as we pulled out onto the blacktop road. “To know no one will ever see me and never understand what I’m saying. Hmm.. Seems like a blessing to me!” he cackled more and I whimpered, my eyes squeezed shut and hands tight over my ears.

“She’s doing it again, Jack.” my mommy told my father and I whimpered more. My daddy turned around, letting my mommy take the wheel and his large hand landed on my face, my cheek stinging with the sudden slap. I groaned as the pain flooded my face and he smirked in the review mirror.

“Maybe that’ll teach ya,” he said, taking a drink and I could smell the vodka inside of it. I knew I was in for hell when we got back to our house. He was in a really foul mood and I knew he’d give it to me enough to probably kill me.

“Kill me,” I whimpered, and I could hear Shadow and my daddy laugh at my words.

“Them kill you? Yeah right,” Shadow clapped his hands and grinned in my face, his nose only an inch from mine, his breath smelling foul in my nose and I tried to stop breathing through it to block the nastiness of the smell.

“You’ll always be mine. No matter what happens. I’m with you forever!” Shadow gave an evil smile and then kissed my stinging cheek, which made me wince and try to scoot away from him.

“Aww, don’t be like that!” he cackled more, his hands suddenly lashing out, landing blows all over my arms. I felt the car turn since I had shut my eyes and I knew we were home. It was the only time we turned to the left. I opened one eye just a slit and saw our grimy, run down house staring back at me, its knowing smile and I wondered if everyone else would even care if they knew.

“Get out of the car,” he ordered, flinging the door wide open and mommy snuffed out her smoke. I whimpered more, my voice becoming high pitched all ready. He growled and I flung open my own door and made a run for the front door, wanting to get inside to get it over with. I could hear them coming behind me as I turned the doorknob and let myself inside the darkened house. It stank so bad in here; human urine, smoke, vodka everywhere and other things I didn’t wish to know.

“Upstairs,” he said, ripping the door from my fingers and I earned a couple splinters from how hard I was gripping the door. He muttered something and mommy started to undo his belt and I decided to run upstairs to my room. My room was the only one up here, minus the bathroom. Their room was downstairs and that’s where I wanted him to stay. I could hear his lumbering steps slowly coming upstairs and I could hear the clank of metal buttons being undo and I shivered, curling myself up into a little ball. My door flew open and I screeched, my body tightening even more.

“Sit up,” he said, slamming my door behind him and dropping his pants. A moment later his fist came flying at me and when it connected, it sent me into the state of bliss.