Chapter Seven:

Sunlight filtered through the dirty window, falling on my swollen face. My whole body felt like it was on fire, sore and swollen at other places. I groaned, sitting up on my right elbow and glanced towards the doorway, my eyes still not able to focus on anything.

“I’m so sorry,” I heard Shadow’s voice from behind me and I slowly turned towards him. I shook my head, trying to let him know it wasn’t his fault. He grunted and sat down beside me. “They injected you with coke, then all of the men had fun with you.” he said softly, wrapping his arms around his knees and drawing them up to his chest.

“It’s ok Shadow, it’s ok.” I said, barely able to reach over and pat his arm. He shook his head frantically and muttered,

“No, it isn’t! I’m not real so I can’t help you!” he grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me a little. I sighed and laid back down, listening to the voices I could hear in the other room.

“Oh, your mom is making you another doctor’s appointment soon.” Shadow said, surprising me. I cracked open one of my brown eyes and raised my eyebrow.

“Why the hell is she doing that?” I asked, my voice filled with disbelief.

“I’ve no idea but I’m wondering what your parents have going on in their mind.” he said, thinking hard and tapping his chin with his index finger. “I wonder if they’re going to start sending you there for the pain medication?” he suddenly popped up, his eyes wide.

“Who knows? Maybe,” I said softly, shrugging my tight and aching shoulders.

“I bet that’s the reason why. Your mom seems to like your pain killers.” he said, lying back next to me when I laid back down on the floor.

“Did they at least take the time to NOT finish inside of me?” I asked, having the dreading feeling that they hadn’t.

“They finished inside of you, yes.” he said quietly and I groaned, rolling over onto my side and pulling my knees up to my chest.

“Bad thing is my period is already late,” I said softly and I could see the look of horror in his eyes.

“I think you need to get a test,” he said, patting me on my head and I shook my head.

“You have the money, I moved the other six hundred before your mom came home that day. It’s under your floorboard.” he said, putting his fingers under my chin and trying to get me to look up at him. I shook a bit, wondering if I could be and I shook my head quickly, not wanting to even think on that idea.

“She has the appointment for sometime soon.” he said softly, standing up and disappearing. I felt tears stinging my eyes and I curled up even tighter. I heard thumping and I tried to imagine myself disappearing. A moment later the halfway broken door flew open and father stood there, staring at me in his boxers.

“Get up girl,” he said, his voice rough like he wasn’t high or drunk. I nodded and uncurled myself from the floor, slowly sitting up and standing up finally, feeling blood and other things rush from between my legs. I whimpered and bit my lips, wanting to burst out crying. He grinned and stalked into the room, slamming the door behind him. His eyes were for once not glassy but clear, almost as if he had something planned and needed to stay sober.

“Hehe, your period hasn’t been for a couple months,” he grinned evilly and my eyes widened in horror. I was only sixteen, I couldn’t get pregnant! I shivered and he stomped forward, his hands grabbing me by my waist tightly.

“You’ll be pregnant with my baby!” he chuckled, his eyes widening even larger and he looked so insane. His wide brown eyes had this hysterical look to them and his mouth was turned two different ways. I whimpered and he hugged me close to his chest.

“I get to get a father again!” he whooped and hollered, laughing loudly and my mother came into the room, her hands on her hips. My father grinned ear to ear and sat me down on the floor, still smiling that sickly smile that made me want to hurl.

My mom simply cocked her head sideways, puffing away on some pot she had scored last night. I groaned, my stomach rolling at the thought of having my father’s child. I screwed my eyes shut and he lifted me again.

“Finally, someone in this house that can get pregnant!” he boasted, his eyes though, were over on my mother and giving her a cold stare. She shook her head and took another drag on the thing, blowing smoke in our direction.

“Ok sweetie, just make sure when we take her to the doctor that we tell them she got raped.” she said, popping her neck and giving me a smile my way.

“Wha? No, no, I don’t want to be pregnant!” I gasped, turning towards my father and clawing at his chest. “I can’t be pregnant! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” I gasped, hitting him with my fists as hard as I could. He raised his fist and a moment later it connected with my temple and I flew across the floor. I screamed in pain when I stopped, and I sat up slowly, holding my forehead in my hands.

“You are going to have that baby,” my father ground out, quickly striding over to where I landed and got to my level. He grabbed me by my hair and lifted me up a little. “Now, what are you going to do?” he sneered, his face twisting evilly.

“Have your baby,” I whispered, screwing my eyes shut tight again. He laughed and stood up, his feet slightly kicking me in my side, I winced by stayed silent so he wouldn’t come back and hit me some more.

oOoOoOo

School was torture; I had been behind already by a week and being out of school for a few days put me that much more behind. I slipped into class, the teacher and classmates not noticing me, well, minus Sapphira. She looked horrible. She dyed her hair since I had been gone, now it was a black with hot pink tips. I sat in the empty desk next to her and leaned over to whisper,

“Sorry.” she jerked her head up when she heard those words and gave me a stone cold look.

“Why are you sorry?” she said, her words clipped and spoken in a truly dead tone. I licked my lips and reached over without thinking, clasping her hand in mine.

“When lunch period comes up, will you meet me in the downstairs bathroom?” I asked quietly, biting my lip and hoping that she would agree. She nodded slowly and I let out a breath of relief, especially since we had only this class period left before it let out for lunch. The minutes slowly ticked by, twenty minutes become fifteen and fifteen became ten.

“Here,” she whispered, handing me a piece of paper. I raised an eyebrow but took it once the teacher wasn’t looking. I slowly slipped it into my binder and opened it just as quietly. Her handwriting was pretty, I noticed right off the bat when I scanned the page.

“You act so afraid of me and yet, you’re daring yourself to get closer to me. Is there a reason? Is there something I can do to help you with?”

I grabbed my pencil and bit the eraser, thinking on what to say. I did like her and wanted to become friends with her but how could someone become friends with a person as screwed up as me. I nibbled down onto the actual pencil, leaving behind teeth marks. Then my flimsy handwriting was added to hers.

“I’m not afraid, I’m just… Well.. Curious. I want to know why you want to be my friend, rather than being always left in the dark. I want to know why you want to be friends with me so badly and I also want to know why you were there, shooting up drugs that one day.”

I handed the note back to her and she ripped it from my fingers before the teacher saw it. I watched her out of the corner of my eye open it and read it slowly. I glanced up towards the clock and realized a moment before the bell rang that I was already time for lunch. Everyone gathered up their bags and rushed out of the room, while we stood back and waited for everyone to leave, including the teacher.

“I’ll meet you down there in a few minuets. I have to go to my locker,” she told me, slinging her back over her shoulders and I nodded, gathering my things to head on down. I took the longest hallway to get down there, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. The halls down here were darker and I smiled to myself, finding the bathroom with no issue. I slipped in quietly, noticing the red stain on the floor from my stupidity.

‘What are you doing back here?’ I heard Aqua for the first time in awhile. ‘Coming back to have some fun?’ she chuckled and I dropped my bag to the floor.

‘No, I just needed to see someone.’ I told her, shaking my head back and forth, staring at myself in the mirror. I heard somebody walking nearer to the bathroom and I froze, resisting the urge to dart into a stall and climb up on the toilet. The door opened and Sapphira walked in, dropping her back right behind her, lodging against the door and she turned and locked it before looking over her shoulder at me.

“What’s up?” she asked, her eyebrow raised and I noticed the heavy makeup she was wearing. She caught my gaze and chuckled,

“I’m hiding some secrets myself.” she grinned and fully turned towards me, her arms folded across her chest.

“I know how that is,” I said, facing her and leaning against the porcelain sink and looked her up and down. I cringed when she moved forward and she stopped, assessing my reaction to everything that she did.

“I know you do drugs,” I said, looking down at the ground.

“I know your father rapes you.” she countered, leaning up against the first stall door. My head jerked up and I frowned, then remembered that I had made mentioned of it.

“Don’t think just because I’m high on something doesn’t mean I won’t remember later.” she said raising her hand to her mouth and chewed on her long, fake fingernails.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked and we both sat on the floor at the same time. I shrugged my shoulders, unsure how to really start talking to anyone other than Shadow. I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I glanced up to see him sitting down next to me.

“Just start talking about anything,” he whispered, kissing my ear gently. I nodded to him and looked back at her.

“Start talking,” we both said at the same time, our arms folded over our chests as we stared each other down.

“Maria Lambert, please report to the principal’s office.” the intercom boomed, startling us from the sudden silence that had fallen. I jumped up, curious why that I was being called up there. I glanced to Sapphira and she stood as well.

“I’ll go with you,” she said, closing the gap between us and grabbing a hold of my cold hand. I nodded slowly, wondering if that meant my parents were here for something. I swallowed and we both got our things, and I turned slightly towards Shadow, the horror in his eyes.

“They’re here to take you to the doctors,” he whispered, shaking his head and knowing that it was going to get worse from there. We wandered out of the bathroom, Sapphira still holding my hand tightly as we made our way up the stairs and down the hallway.

“It’ll be ok,” she whispered as we neared the office and through the glass I could see my parents, being sickly nice and caring towards the office women. I nodded towards her and she laid her hand on the door handle, pushing it open for the both of us. My mother stood and smiled towards us.

“You have a doctor’s appointment,” my mom said, looking to us and I felt Sapphira drop my hand and I nodded at my mom. “You’ll be out of school the rest of the day,” she said, gathering up her purse and handed me a coat, playing the part of a concerned mother well. I took the coat with lifeless fingers and shrugged it on, watching my father sign me out.

“I’ll get a hold of you somehow tonight, ok?” she whispered into my ear and I simply nodded, my body going numb and I was unable to really do anything else. She patted my hand and hurried out of the office when the tardy bell started ringing.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing me by my shoulders and almost shoving me out of the office and outside to a new vehicle.

“Where the van?” I asked, looking around for the old van. I heard my father chuckle and he opened the small car door for me.

“We had to get a new car for the baby since you’re going to be having one.” he said, his eyes looking crazed. I bit my lip but slipped inside the fresh smelling car. I sniffed a bit and let out a breath, so far this car didn’t smell of pot and drugs and beer.

The car started smoothly and quietly, starting towards the doctor. She looked over her shoulder towards me and scoffed.

“You’re keeping the baby, too. No getting ideas of trying to get rid of it.” she told me in her sternest voice and I just nodded, knowing that if I said otherwise, then I’d be in for it when we got home. She turned around and started talking to my father about something that I had no interest in.

“You know by law, you can have an abortion and they don’t have to know.” Shadow said, waving his hand in front of my face. I glanced over at him and today his hair was blonde with black tips. I raised an eyebrow.

“I know, weird choice but I’m enjoying it this time.” he chuckled, pushing his emo haircut aside and showing me his emerald eyes. I chuckled at his style this time and he patted the back of my hand some more.

“Do you want this baby in the first place?” he asked, leaning down to look at my face and I slowly nodded. I couldn’t say the words that I wanted to say. I wanted to have the child but knowing the condition of the house, I couldn’t have it.

“I think you need to sit down and tell the doctor what’s really happening in the house.” he said softly and I jerked my head up sharply and shook my head no quickly. He sighed and shook his head in defeat and we sat in total silence until we reached the big hospital. I raised my eyebrow and un-clicked my seat belt. I followed them out and into the hospital, remembering this was the place that they brought me before.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, grabbing a hold of my mother’s arm. She shook me off and refused to tell me anything. I started getting a panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach and I saw Doctor Wisner through the sliding glass doors.

“What is she doing here?” I asked, my feet slowing up and then stopping. My father stopped and turned around before hissing,

“Get your fucking ass up here. Now.” he growled and I snapped out of it. I nodded and slowly started shuffling towards him, my head hanging down. We walked into the bright building and I heard Doctor Wisner.

“Hello Maria. I’ll be seeing you again today.” she grinned, a nurse ushering me into a room away from my parents. I glanced her way and raised an eyebrow towards her.

“What’s going on?” I asked her once she shut the door behind me. She motioned for me to sit down and I found the ugly chair.

“I’d like to admit you to the hospital for a week.” she said, getting to the point as she picked up a char.

“Why do I have to go to this hospital?” I gasped, my fingernails digging into the ugly green car’s armrests. Doctor Wisner looked up and put down her chart that she was finishing up. I shook my head in disbelief. Why did I have to go away while it was my parents that needed to be locked up! I shook my head no even more, wanting her to believe me that I didn’t have to be locked up.

“I’m not the one who needs to be locked up!” I screamed at her, knowing people outside the room could hear me yelling at her. She didn’t answer right away, glancing down at the chart and finishing something that she left unmarked.

“Stop,” she finally said as I continued to dig at the chair. “You’re going because your parents are putting you in there. So, stop making a fuss and embrace it.” she said, glancing up from over her reading glasses.

“But why?” I asked, coming out my seat and she got up, grabbing my shoulders with both her hands and pushing me back down.

“Because you’re mentally unstable.” she simply said and I screamed nonsense at her. How was it I was the mentally unstable one and yet, my parents were getting away with doing drugs and abusing me? I stood back up as soon as she turned her back to me and I advanced to her until I had her pinned. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes flickering with slight fear. I got closer to her.

“Who says that I’m unstable?” I asked, slamming my fist into the wall.

“Your mother.” she replied and I backed away, suddenly feeling numb.

“She’s afraid that your father might do something to you.” she said as I backed away and fell into the chair again.

“She knows I’m pregnant,” I said softly and I heard the doctor gasp a bit.

“What?” she asked, taking three strides to get to my side.

“Well.. I.. I think I am. I’m nearly three months late on my period.” I said, jerking my head up towards her and looking into her eyes, my eyes wide with horror.

“Do you want to take a test to make sure?” she asked, sitting in the chair next to me. I nodded, my body starting to feel cold and as if I couldn’t move. How could my mother really care for me when she was using me to get pain medication?

“Here,” She said, handing me a small clear cup with an orange lid. I took it and a nurse led me from the room and down the hallway to a bathroom. I walked in, not seeing anything. I dropped my pants and peed in the cup, my body starting to sting. I capped it and walked back down the hallway, feeling funny having a cup of pee in my hands.

“Here, I’ll take that.” a pretty black haired nurse said, giving me a friendly and mother like smile. I nodded and handed it to her, glad to have the warm cup out of my fingers. I watched as her plain white shoes made their journey down the hallway and I slipped back into the room, surprised that Doctor Wisner was still in there.

“It’ll take up to fifteen minutes to find out. Would you like to talk about anything while you’re here?” she asked, giving me a kind smile. I sat down and just stared blankly at the floor. She waved her hand in front of my face and I merely glanced up to her.

“I want to talk but I don’t know where to start,” I whispered, shaking my head back and forth. She nodded and put down the chart, her pen still in her hand though.

“Just tell me what you can,” she said softly, patting my hand. I nodded and took a deep breath.

“My father rapes me all the time,” I said quietly and heard her pen clatter to the floor.

“What?” she gasped, shaking my shoulder gently. I glanced up towards her and her face had a look of horror plastered all over it.

“He thinks it’s fun and it’s his baby inside of me,” I felt my lip quiver and I tried not to cry.

“How often does he do this to you?” she asked, picking up the pen and chart, the pen poised and ready to start writing things down.

“Four, sometimes five days a week. Once in a while, if he’s passed out, I get more than three days of time to recover before he wants his fun again.” I said softly, shaking my head back and forth.

“Good girl,” I heard Shadow say and I jerked my head up towards him.

“Then why does it feel like I’m doing the wrong thing Shadow?” I asked, turning my face towards him.

“Wait, who’s Shadow?” I heard her ask, and I ignored her.

“I can’t let them know though Shadow, I can’t have him taking his anger out on me even more. I get it nearly every day as it is!” I gasped, feeling the tears pouring down my cheeks and I reached up to cling to Shadow.

“You have to tell them everything Maria!” he said loudly, clutching me by my shoulders and gently shaking me. I shook my head no and took a shaky breath.

“I can’t Shadow! I can’t!” I said, my voice raising and becoming hysterical. I felt her hands on my shoulders and suddenly my ass met the chair again.

“Tell me who Shadow is!” she said loudly in my ear, jerking my attention from him to her. I stuttered, giving her a confused look.

“Shadow is right in front of you! Are all of you doctors blind?” I flung out my hand in his direction, getting upset that even she couldn’t see him. “He’s right there! How can you not see him!”

“Doctor Wisner,” the door opened and I saw the pretty nurse come into the room, holding a piece of paper out towards her. She stood up and took it from the nurse and she walked out of the room, the brown door shutting behind her.

“Well, you came back positive,” she said, taking a deep breath and running her fingers through her cropped short hair. I nodded, already knowing the news.

“Am I still going to admitted into the hospital?” I asked, looking up with her, my eyes pleading for her to say no.

“We’ll see, I need to go see another doctor really quick.” she said, picking up the chart and walked out of the room, the door clicking as if it meant I was going to be locked away soon.

“Doctor Singer, she has the obvious signs of Schizophrenia.” Doctor Wisner insisted to a short haired doctor, her parents standing by. Doctor Singer looked over Maria’s file, humming here and there at a few of the comments that had been written on the page.

“Schizophrenia?” her mother asked, standing up and holding her jacket close to her. Doctor Wisner nodded and took the chart back.

“Yes, it’s not an uncommon thing honestly. She has all the signs of it honestly.” she told them, glancing down at all the comments and such that had been written down on the paper.

“She also does seem like she suffers from depression and suicidal tendencies. Which is the main reason we’re concerned with at the moment. Also, Mrs. Lambert, I’d like to speak to you privately for a moment.” Doctor Wisner said, taking Maria’s mother by her shoulders and leading her down the hallway and out of earshot of her father.

“Your daughter told me that your husband rapes her. Is this true?”

“No! Why would her father do that to her?” her mother’s eyes flickered with something but Doctor Wisner couldn’t put her finger in it.

“How could you say something like that?” she asked with a look of disgust and horror on her face. Doctor Wisner sighed; she had seen the exams that all pointed to sexual abuse but it sounded like someone was lying in the family.

“Well, we’re just trying to figure out what’s going on and we need the whole truth Mrs. Lambert.” Doctor Wisner said. Her mother frowned and pulled the jacket around her even tighter.

“I am telling the truth. Ever since she was a little girl she was very well known for talking to imaginary people and making up stories.” her mother snapped, her eyes blazing in anger.

“All right,” she said, leading them back to where Doctor Singer and Mr. Lambert stood.

“Would you like to go talk to her?” Doctor Wisner asked Doctor Singer and he nodded. “This way,” then led him down the hallway to where Maria sat in a room waiting for what was going on.

“Someone is coming.” Shadow said, halfway standing up. I raised an eyebrow and I saw Doctor Wisner walk in with a new doctor. His hair was cut super short and he had a dark mustache above his lip. His eyes looked tired and tiny compared to the rest of his body.

“Maria?” he asked, holding out his hand towards me.

“Yeah?” I asked shaking his outstretched hand. He chuckled and took the chart from my doctor and they both sat down, him across from me.

“Doctor Wisner says you talk to people.”

“Uh, yeah. Everyone talks to people.” I smarted off, sitting back in the chair and licked my lips since I felt very uncomfortable. He made a note on the paper and I raised my eyebrow at him. He chuckled and gave me a challenging grin.

“So, are you going to answer my question?” “I already did.”

“No, tell me more about the people you talk to.” he insisted and I gave a confused look.

“Why? They’re normal people.” I said, my head turning sideways slightly and my eyebrow arched higher. “I mainly talk to Shadow, though, and sometimes Sapphira.” I said, thinking of all I talk to. “Oh, and Aqua of course.”

“Sapphira?” Doctor Singer asked, his own eyebrow matching how high mine was.

“Yeah, she’s from school.” I said, thinking about how nice and kind she was earlier. “She’s in my grade, and is kinda cool.” I said, chuckling at remembering how we were just sitting in the silence of the bathroom earlier.

“How about Shadow?” I heard Doctor Singer prompt me.

“He’s one of my best friends. I talk to him nearly every day. He comes and lets me know what’s going on, or if my father is about to come in and do something bad. Or, sometimes he just sits next to me and we don’t say anything for hours.” I said, a smile coming to my face. Doctor Singer took down a few more notes.

“And, Aqua?” he asked, looking down at the paper.

“She’s a pain in the ass. She never shuts up or leaves me alone.” I said, rolling my eyes and frowning at the mention of her name. I watched as he wrote down more notes and then looked up towards me.

“Do you feel depressed a lot?” he asked, folding his hands for a moment.

“What do you mean?” “You know, upset, sad, feeling left out? Those kinds of feelings.” he said, thinking on what words to use.

“Well, yeah. I do really often. But I also have really quick mood swings. I go from being happy to angry to sad within seconds.” I said, thinking about how quick my emotion changes on me. He nodded and wrote everything that I just said down.

“Why do you ask?” I asked, shifting in the seat and looking between the two.

“We think you might be either schizophrenic or bipolar and we want to get down to the bottom of it.” Doctor Wisner spoke up for the first time since the questions had started. I looked to her, feeling confused as to what was going on.

“What do you mean I might be ‘schizophrenic’?” I asked, making a funny face at them.

“Well, you have some signs of it.” Doctor Singer said, looking straight me.

“What kind of signs?”

“Well, you do have hallucinations, suffer from depression and possibly might be bipolar. We’d like to do some more tests to be sure though.” He said, watching my reaction. I stood up, my fists clenching tightly.

“I don’t hear or see anything no one else is not supposed to!” I said loudly, my head spinning from suddenly sitting up. They both jumped up and she waved her hands to calm me down.

“We’re not saying you’re crazy, we just want to do some testing to make sure you don’t have something else wrong.” Doctor Wisner said, grabbing a hold of me by my shoulders and I tried to shake her off of me.

“We think something else is going on and we just want to make sure we don’t do something wrong.” Doctor Singer stood up and put down his chart and I stopped struggling.

“I’ve been told you’re pregnant. I want to make sure you’ll be healthy mentally and physically enough in order to carry this child to term.” he said, his arms crossing his chest and I stared up towards him. I glared at him but I understood what they were saying.

“I’m going to start you on a round of depression medicine. This should help your mood swings.” Doctor Singer said, pulling out a prescription pad from his pocket and writing something down on it and I took it from him, staring down at the chicken scratch he had written down. I narrowed my eyes but stuffed the paper into my pocket, looking down the other way, knowing that I needed something to help me. I was ushered out of the room by Doctor Wisner and I glanced back at him.

“What’s going to happen next?” I asked her, glancing up in her direction and she shrugged her shoulders before saying,

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”

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Authors Notes: I Hope you guys enjoy! ^.^ Thank you for reading!