fears were not conquered, no new land was found.

as I am now, I could keep writing. I could not stop. I could turn off my phone, and lock my door, and write until my heart gave out. I could spend Halloween eating my keyboard, and not leave.
When Lanny calls I can not pick up. tell myself “I don’t want to party.”-(“I don’t want to fuck you new boy…”)
tell you “no, I will not pick you up because you crashed your car, and no I will not kiss you because your lips are too big, and yes it’s true, you are not special.”

.

in our dead end jobs at the 'Rainbow Factory'. (everybody knows)