THOMAS: 17, high school student, has an attitude, wearing a hooded sweatshirt

JONNY: 17, high school student, very polite, good looking

LIZ: 42, very bubbly, loving

AL: 43, quiet but intimidating

WAITRESS: no specifications

Fancy restaurant. Light comes on and we see a table with 4 chairs. LIZ and AL are sitting next to each other. He is reading a paper and she seems to be whispering something in his ear. He has no reaction. THOMAS and JONNY enter and sit in the two empty chairs.

LIZ: Tommy and Jonny! You’re here! We were getting worried something happened to the two of you.

JONNY: Sorry we’re late, Mrs. Keyser. We had a few errands to run. (to THOMAS) Here, hand me the bag.

THOMAS reaches into the front pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a crinkly plastic bag which he hands to JONNY.

JONNY: We got something for you. (hands her the bag) Happy birthday.

LIZ: Oh you guys! You shouldn’t have bought me anything. I completely forgot it was my birthday today.

THOMAS: Sure you did. That’s why you picked today to drag us all to The Bermuda. You do remember that we’re poor, right? Or has that slipped your mind too?

JONNY: (quietly) Be nice, Tom, it’s your mom’s birthday.

LIZ: No, it’s okay, Jonny. Tommy’s just a little cranky because he knows he has to go get his physical tomorrow for the college admission requirements.

THOMAS: I’m not going.

LIZ: Of course you are. It won’t be that bad, they’ll just check to make sure you’re all healthy and ready–

THOMAS: No. I mean I’m not going to college.

JONNY: What? When did you decide this? LIZ: What are you talking about?

THOMAS: I didn’t want to get into this today.

LIZ: Have you even thought about what you’re going to do after you graduate?

THOMAS: Yes. Now leave me alone. Aren’t you going to open your present?

LIZ: Oh yes, I almost forgot. But we’re not done talking about this.

THOMAS: Just open it.

LIZ opens the bag and pulls out a stone slab which is engraved with a poem.

LIZ: “Although I may not show it all the time, your presence in my life has helped me grow. Your love has kept me strong and let me shine, and I hope you can forgive me once you know.” Oh, this is beautiful! Did you write this for me?

THOMAS: Sure.

LIZ: I love it. (LIZ leans over the table to give THOMAS a kiss, but he pulls away)

JONNY: Mrs. Keyser, actually Thomas and I worked on this together. I want you know that you have been like a mother figure to me all these years, and I wanted to put something into this gift for your birthday. I feel like you should know that you are appreciated.

THOMAS: I carved it into the stone.

LIZ: Well, it’s beautiful. I don’t know what to say.

JONNY: You don’t have to say anything. I think it’s now our turn to speak. We have something to tell you both.

AL: Huh? (AL looks up from his paper for the first time and now starts to pay attention)

JONNY: (to THOMAS) Do you want to tell them, or should I? I think you should. I mean, they’re your parents…

THOMAS: I’m not telling them shit.

LIZ: What is it? What do you want to tell us? (LIZ looks worriedly at AL, but he just averts his gaze to the paper yet again)

JONNY: Alright. I guess I’ll say it. Mr. and Mrs. Keyser, Thomas and I… we’re… we are gay. And we love each other. I hope you can understand and… I don’t want you to think less of us.

THOMAS starts to look uncomfortable, although LIZ and AL are not fazed.

LIZ: Well, that’s very nice. I wonder where the waitress is. Does everyone know what they want to order?

JONNY: Umm…

THOMAS: I’m getting the roast duck.

JONNY: (quietly, and to THOMAS) That’s the most expensive thing on the menu. I thought you just said that your family is poor.

THOMAS: I’m getting the duck.

LIZ: That’s fine, Tommy, I think I may just get the same thing. Al?

AL: (throws his paper down on the table) Excuse me.

AL exits

JONNY: I wonder where he went.

THOMAS: Probably went to take a shit.

LIZ: Thomas! That language! Not appropriate for the dinner table.

JONNY: I’m beginning to wonder, Mrs. Keyser, did you hear what I said earlier? I’m afraid you might have missed it. And I don’t think I can say it again.

LIZ: Oh, don’t worry, Jonny…

Waitress appears

WAITRESS: I’m sorry about the wait, folks. Can I get you all something to drink?

LIZ: I’ll have a pink lemonade please.

THOMAS: Give me a… rum and coke. And I think he’ll want the same (points to AL’s empty seat.)

JONNY: Just water.

WAITRESS: Alright, those will be up in just a minute.

JONNY: Seriously. Aren’t you going to have any reaction?

LIZ: Reaction to what?

THOMAS: I think she’s lost her mind. We shouldn’t have told her on her birthday, John, I was right.

JONNY: We didn’t tell her, I did. And–

LIZ: (as AL enters) Al, you’re back! Tommy was nice enough to order you a rum and coke.

AL: That’s fine, I guess.

THOMAS: See, a shit. He was taking a shit.

LIZ: (to THOMAS)What did I tell you?

JONNY: Mr. Keyser, do you remember what I said a while ago, about… me and Thomas?

AL: I wouldn’t know. I was reading the sports section.

JONNY: (aggravated)Do I really have to say it again? Thomas is gay, I’m g–

LIZ: Shhh, Jonny. It’s okay, we know. Now quiet, we don’t want to get kicked out of the fanciest restaurant in town. You’re being very loud.

JONNY: (more calm)I’m sorry. I was under the impression you didn’t hear me the first time. Why didn’t you say something? Like, get mad, or freak out, or… anything?

THOMAS: She’s fuckin’ crazy that’s why. My mom went crazy on her birthday in a crowded restaurant that serves broiled duck, roast duck, and any kind of duck you could ever want.

LIZ: (ignores THOMAS) Of course I wouldn’t get mad. Not at you two. My son and his best friend. I love you guys.

JONNY: Okay… but still–

AL: We’ve always known.

THOMAS: What?

AL: We’ve always known. You didn’t have to come out and say it. We know. Now can we just order? Where’s my drink?

THOMAS: Shit.

JONNY: How could you have known?

LIZ: Know what, sweetie? Now who wants the roast duck?

Waitress comes back with drinks and we see her start to take the food orders, but we do not hear anything. LIZ seems bright and cheery, and after AL orders, he is back to reading the newspaper. JONNY and THOMAS sit further back in their chairs, looking quite puzzled. Light fades out.

End.

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