Death can be closer than you think. I remembered that saying from a book as I lay on the trolley, I started to think about the operation and whether or not I was going to wake up. A woman walked in and injected a fluid into my left hand; it went numb and started to ache… I started to get weaker and weaker…. My heart started to race… My eyes started to close as the whole room spun around…then a flash of light.

I opened my eyes, was it over? I was still in the theatre, every limb in my body ached. I tried to get up but I was paralysed… the surgeons rushed around gathering different equipment

“Erm hello I’m still awake?” I said right in one of the surgeon’s faces but there was no reply. Why couldn’t they hear me!

“ First we’re going to cut open her abdomen” I couldn’t believe they were going to cut me open when I was still awake, or was I???

No…No this couldn’t be happening to me!! I could see everything… hear everything and …NO!! … Feel everything. My stomach churned at the harsh reality I was about to go through.

In the corner of my eye I saw it, lying there… waiting for a gory job to take part in, it’s stainless steel point staring me in the face. A hand reached over and grabbed it; it shone as the light above reflected of off it. Then pain ripped through my body as my flesh was tore apart by it. Inch by inch the incision got bigger and bigger, blood seeped out of it, its red pigmentation made me feel sick but not as sick as the horror I was going through. The pain stopped. As I looked at my abdomen, which was part open in front of me, I saw everything.

I let out a cry and a hand rummaged around inside… grabbing different organs

“Please! Please stop,” I screamed hopelessly into the surgeons face, but it was useless … he couldn’t hear me … none of them could hear me. Tears rolled down my face as excruciating pain ripped through my body once again, but this time it was different.

“We’re loosing her!” the nurse shouted across the room.

“ Artery’s severed… she’s loosing blood,” the surgeon said as he moved his hand. I gasped in horror as blood squirted and gushed rapidly out of me, I felt weak and cold but it was getting worse.

“Stop it! Stop it!” I cried in what seemed to be a helpless moan. I could now hear my heart beating… it wasn’t normal though; it was slow and uneven as if gasping for breath.

“Blood pressures dropping! She’s crashing!” the nurse sighed. Suddenly a bright light swamped me… blinding my eyes… then I woke!

All mobility came back to me as I got off the table and walked toward the nurse standing by one of the screens, it was silent but she was shouting something? I reached out and put why hand on her shoulder… my hand went cold as it passed through her body effortlessly.

“ What the…” I stuttered shocked at what had just happened. I must have been dreaming but yet everything felt so real!

A crushing pain suddenly ripped through my chest… I went colder… then again… and again… then nothing. I turned around and looked at what they were all starring at… it was a lifeless copse lying on the table of which I had came from… I froze as I looked upon the stony white face…

It was me!