First Light

From silence and darkness we begin like bats screeching because we have lost our way. Like wayward particles we float from place to place emitting sound waves instead of photons. The world is only made of three interactions for us. Giving a gift, receiving a gift and throwing the gift away.

Ribbons of smoke in a pale moonlight. Flowers that only sing at night. These are the gifts that surround us but are lost as we fly into the night.
A small green light flickers like a lighthouse on a lonely beach, only to be consumed by a fury of wind and fur. One small light has gone out and a thousand more await the same fate.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in control but control is just an illusion. An illusion built on the sandy beaches waiting for the tide to wash it out. I'm just part of the tide of a thousand wings that surround me. I understand nothing except a present hunger and chaos. I only understand chaos because the storm has taught me. It tells me to turn but not where we are going. I can only hope that wherever the final destination there are gifts to receive along the way.

Because gifts let us tell stories and stories are all we have.

We streak across blades of grass and leaflets of leaves because the night desires a terror and we fulfilled the call. Strings of supersonic waves and pictures in black and white. This is the world that we zip across none the wiser as time flies alongside. Like waves upon rocks we break apart. It's a free for all and the certainty of hunger overrides the sense of chaos.

It only lasts for a few minutes.

Then the chaos returns. And we are swept backwards together again. Backwards to where we began from silence and darkness. And we ask what is better? To dance alone with understanding or to intertwine with another and submit to chaos. Because the gray skies are taking over the moonlight. The flowers have stopped singing and the world waits as my heart beats in this furry chest of mine.

We ask what is better but we are too afraid to answer, afraid to find out. And so we choose to hang upside-down as the first light reaches its tendrils across the sky. We shut our wings and shut ourselves out. One day we will decide to look into the sunlight but not today and not tonight. One day; just not today. This is the prayer that we utter as our dark world turns gray.

This is the only prayer that we know.