Preface

I remember when I was three and I use to get scared all the time, my mom would whisper reassurances in my ear. Then later on when I was 12 and my dad died, my mom would come into my room and whisper the lyrics to my favorite song until I stopped crying and fell asleep.

So to have her here whispering in my ear, when I was 16 years old after the guy I loved dumped me for my best friend....well this wasn't anything new. And unlike some would say, it wasn't embarrassing it was simply comforting.

“Honey its gonna be ok.” She whispered in her soft voice, like she had done so many time before. I knew she was right, I never doubted when she told me something was going to be fine because it always was, but this...it hurt. It hurt a lot. “Shh, its OK mommy's got you.”

I fell asleep with her whispering in my ear, and when I woke up she was still there. This was how my mother was. She believed to things, and both were theories.

One was that when the heart was in pain, it needed soft help...this was whispering in her case.

Two was that you never left someone in pain or fear. This only made it worse.

“You feeling better Lou?” My mom was the only one that called me by my middle name...she was the only that knew it actually.

But now she is gone, and her last words were 'find the one who will hold your heart...find your heart'.

My name is Marrisa Lou Judkins. I am 16 years old and as I have said before my dad died when I was 12. This is the story of my life.