AU: If you are (1) easily offended, or (2) just slow, please do not continue reading. This is a joke, and does not entirely reflect my, or my friends, views. Don't say I didn't warn you. Tanks mi ppls!!! Leave a comment or two on your way out. I think I might do Phillias (opposite of Phobias) next...

Phobias

This is pretty much just a list of phobias and my criticism following each one. Not a full list!! Just the more 'interesting' ones. The list is in Alphabetical order. Have fun.

~ Agateophobia - Fear of insanity. ~

You'll probably drive yourself insane from fearing going insane....

~ Alliumphobia - Fear of garlic. ~

Vampire Magnet

~ Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions. ~

Dude! This totally applies to the government!!

~ Amathophobia - Fear of dust. ~

Bet you hate bunnies to huh?...Clean freak.

~ Ambulophobia - Fear of walking. ~

You just freaking lazy...

~ Amnesiphobia - Fear of amnesia. ~

So if you actually got amnesia, would you remember that you were afraid of it?

~ Androphobia - Fear of men. ~

Well...I hope you aren't a dude.

~ Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society. ~

There is nothing wrong with being anti-social!!!

~ Anuptaphobia - Fear of staying single. ~

I hope your at least some what attractive...

~ Apeirophobia - Fear of infinity. ~

It is kind of intimidating. It just goes on, and on, and on....

~ Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched. (Haphephobia) ~

*poke* *touch* *poke* *touch* *poke* *poke*

~ Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. ~

No comment needed. I cracked up just reading the meaning.

~ Athazagoraphobia - Fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting. ~

Wow...all of that happens to me on a daily basis...

~ Autophobia - Fear of being alone or of oneself. ~

I'm so lonely...oh so lonely. ain't got nobodiiii, all on my own!!

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~ Barophobia - Fear of gravity. ~

**How on earth are you scared of gravity?

~ Bibliophobia - Fear of books. ~

The worst a book can do to you is give you a paper cut, GO TO THE LIBRARY!!

~ Bogyphobia - Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman. ~

Still have your mum check the closet and under your bed before you go to sleep? No? You probably should..

~ Bufonophobia - Fear of toads. ~

I hope you know you can't actually get warts from toads. How do I know? Personal experience.

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~ Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness. ~

Don't look in the mirror!

~ Caligynephobia - Fear of beautiful women. ~

Once again, hope you ain't a dude.

~ Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed. ~

I'm ridiculing you for being afraid of being ridiculed. I think I just confused myself...

~ Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors. ~

I think this and Cacophobia go hand in hand.

~ Chorophobia - Fear of dancing. ~

Don't try that mess, we know you can't dance.

~ Clinophobia - Fear of going to bed. ~

Ought to tell me mum that when I get in trouble.

~ Coimetrophobia - Fear of cemeteries. ~

I don't think anyone likes cemeteries very much.

~ Coprastasophobia - Fear of constipation. ~

I want to be free! Please!!!

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~ Defecaloesiophobia - Fear of painful bowels movements. ~

'nough said.

~ Dentophobia - Fear of dentists. ~

Being serious, I don't understand why so many people are scared of the dentist...do you like having bad breath?

~ Didaskaleinophobia - Fear of going to school. ~

I wonder if that will work as an excuse for not doing my homework...

~ Dipsophobia - Fear of drinking. ~

"You must be crazii!!"

~ Dishabiliophobia - Fear of undressing in front of someone. ~

You just mad you can't be a stripper, go on somewhere.

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~ Ecclesiophobia - Fear of church. ~

*Really? We know were your going.

~ Eleutherophobia - Fear of freedom. ~

*Oh America, America....don't remember the rest.

~ Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers. ~

Does this like, evolve with age? Seems like older individuals always have some sort of problem with us...

~ Eurotophobia - Fear of female genitalia. ~

I hope that you are not (1) a female, gay or straight (2) or a straight or bi male.

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~ Gamophobia - Fear of marriage. ~

Can you say commitment issues.

~ Geliophobia - Fear of laughter. ~

You must live a very sad, boring life... Then again I can't really talk.

~ Genophobia - Fear of sex. ~

*Dude...that's all I can really say...

~ Gymnophobia - Fear of nudity. ~

You must wear your clothes in the shower.

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~ Hadephobia - Fear of hell. ~

Now this one I can fully understand.

~ Heliophobia - Fear of the sun. ~

VAMPIRE!!! Run away!!

~ Hellenologophobia - Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology. ~

Most people don't like being so confused you feel like your head might explode. English please!!

~ Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms. ~

The thought just gave me the shivers...

~ Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words. ~

LAMO!!! I'm so serious! Look it up!!

~ Homophobia - Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.~

Is that suppose to be a homo joke!?!

~ Hydrophobia - Fear of water or of rabies. ~

What does water have to do with rabies?

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~ Kenophobia - Fear of voids or empty spaces. ~

Figures, since the largest empty space in the area is probably your head.

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~ Lachanophobia - Fear of vegetables. ~

What was that book about the vegetables and the evil bunny. I just popped into my head. something- zilla I think. A little help?

~ Leukophobia - Fear of the color white. ~

So what? You got somthing agaist white people!?!

~ Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth. ~

Dude!! Whats not to fear!?

~ Logizomechanophobia - Fear of computers. ~

I'm telling you. When the computers start trying to take over the world, don't say we didn't warn you!!

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~ Macrophobia - Fear of long waits. ~

If you tell them that, I wonder if they'll let you skip to the front of the line at Six Flags.

~ Melanophobia - Fear of the color black. ~

"It's cause I'm black ain't it?"

~ Melophobia - Fear or hatred of music. ~

Quite simply, you make sick. I want to beat the crap outta you, and I don't even know if you exist. Your making my stomach turn.

Please remove your self from my presence.

~ Merinthophobia - Fear of being bound or tied up ~

* ;)

~ Mycophobia - Fear or aversion to mushrooms. ~

You make me sick too. Go away please.

~ Myctophobia - Fear of darkness. ~

I think we all are in some form or fashion.

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~ Nephophobia - Fear of clouds. ~

Um...Those puffy things in the sky? Made of water....yea.

~ Nomatophobia - Fear of names. ~

Some of these folks have names with absolutley no meaning, and others are just plain outta this world so I can understand.

~ Novercaphobia - Fear of your step-mother. ~

Poor Cinderella

~ Nucleomituphobia - Fear of nuclear weapons. ~

I think you just got issues if you aren't scared of anything nuclear.

~ Numerophobia - Fear of numbers. ~

Ever had a Math teacher who was Numerophobic?

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~ Oneirogmophobia - Fear of wet dreams. ~

What exactly is there to fear?

Good night, lol.

~ Ophthalmophobia - Fear of being stared at. ~

*Stares*

~ Ostraconophobia - Fear of shellfish. ~

Okay, Shellfish? I could understand disgusted, but afraid?

~ Ouranophobia or Uranophobia - Fear of heaven. ~

Lord have mercy upon your soul.

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Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.

I'm sure the Pope don't like you either.

Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.

Another excuse to not do my homework.

Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.

Well, it is 'Friday the 13th'...I guess

Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls.

What are they gonna do, dress you to death...

Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.

They do have shiny heads...

Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)

More like extreem dislike of Mother-in-law.

Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.

Vampiirrre...

Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing.

I'd hate that...

Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.

So your afraid of being afraid of something?

Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.

Probably cause your slow.

Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple.

You too, sicken me. Go stand in the corner...

Proctophobia- Fear of rectums.

um...yeah...

Psellismophobia- Fear of stuttering.

D-don't m-mo-most people s-s-st-stutter when their a-afraid?

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Satanophobia - Fear of Satan.

Probably a good thing...

Scoleciphobia - Fear of worms.

Worms...really. Blind, legless animals that eat dirt. Good luck with that.

Scolionophobia - Fear of school.

Coolio!

Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.

It's like how far away?

Sexophobia - Fear of the opposite sex. (Heterophobia)

I just hope your Homo.

Staurophobia - Fear of crosses or the crucifix.

It was a Roman torture device.

Symmetrophobia - Fear of symmetry.

oookkkaay...

Syngenesophobia - Fear of relatives.

Me too babe, me too.

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Tapinophobia - Fear of being contagious.

Your fear of contagiousness is contagious

Tetanophobia - Fear of lockjaw, tetanus.

*rofl, I am so mean.

Toxiphobia or Toxophobia or Toxicophobia - Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.

So your not afraid of being purposely poisoned...

Triskaidekaphobia - Fear of the number 13.

What has 13 ever done to you?

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Urophobia - Fear of urine or urinating.

**Hope you know how to hold it.

Xanthophobia - Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.

What you got against yellow people? Bet you don't like purple peoples either.

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Xerophobia - Fear of dryness.

Don't get mad cause you ashy, it's called lotion, you should try it sometime.

Xyrophobia - Fear of razors.

Don't cut yourself!!

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Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.

Giant Mole Rat!!! Where!?!

Tanks for reading. Either e-mail me or leave a comment.

*If you get it, good. If you don't, well, you outta luck.

**No pun intended.