The content on the computer screen started shaking violently, and it took me a few seconds to realize it was because my eyes were starting to fill with tears once again.

Even I would admit that it was a stupid reason to be so depressed about. No one had died. But it was painful. It was incredibly painful.

No, it wasn't the first time I'd lost a friend, or the first time I'd gotten my heart broken by a stupid, meaningless crush. But it was the first time it all happened so quickly, at once.

And it was the first time there had been no one close enough to be my shoulder to cry on. It had been the first time where all my real friends had been too far away for me to talk to them. It had been the first time where I felt like I shouldn't tell my mom, because she was too happy here, and I didn't want to ruin it for her with my stupid teenage trouble.

So it hurt. It hurt so much. If the only way to get over it was crying, that's what I would do. Close the door and pretend I'm asleep, just to cry all night long, whilst listening to cheesy love songs about how perfect everything in their perfect celebrity lives is.

I might sound like a drama queen, but that is honestly how it felt, and I couldn't really do anything about it. Damn I felt like shit.

Occasionally I would break down crying for a few minutes, and then just start mumbling to myself about how it was their loss, how I was perfectly fine with my friends who were too damn far away for it to be 'fine'.

And of course, that led to me crying for a thousand other reasons. Like the fact that my dad was too work obsessed to care about his two daughters, causing our already lacking communication to die almost completely. Or the fact that, then again, my true friends live thousands of miles away, which meant that I was pretty much alone right now.

Stupid time difference.

I won't force you to read my depressing, lame story. If you don't want to read about how shitty my weekend was, no hurt feelings, just stop reading. Really, I don't mind.

For those who are still here, I'll just flash back to Friday night, that way it might be a bit easier for you to understand.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I smiled at the text, before answering with something just as perverted. It was probably the third time we'd done something like that. Of course, it was always a joke. A really entertaining one at that.

My phone buzzed again, and a text flashed across my screen. I picked it up and read it, silently mouthing the words to the song my computer was currently playing.

He had decided to cut off the game pretty early, and asked 'What's up?' instead.

Alex Collins had always been a nice guy. A nice, funny guy who somehow knew every single detail of the school's gossip. Actually, most people in our class disliked him, but I never really saw why.

He could be two faced and mean at points, but then again, who wasn't? I just saw him as a joker, and a good friend. Even though he wasn't good at keeping secrets, which is exactly why I answered his text with 'Bored. Tell me gossip?'.

His response came back before I even had time to put down my phone. Of course, that was longer than usual, given the fact that my phone freezes nearly every five seconds.

'What do I tell you?' See? Not good at keeping secrets. He was going to tell me everything 'Well you just have to be difficult don't you? :P Umm.. Let's see.. Who does Jacob like?'

I put my phone down and bit my thumb lightly. I wasn't sure if he knew, they weren't really close, but my phone buzzed quickly afterwards with a single word. Anna.

And I couldn't say I wasn't surprised. It's not that she wasn't gorgeous, nice and completely hilarious, only that I didn't really expect Jacob to like anyone... Or Alex to know about it.

'Fine. Thomas?' I won't lie here, I wanted him to say me, even though I didn't like him back.

I just wanted to feel... Wanted for once. A feeling I hadn't gotten since I moved, but that I got more than often before that. And I missed it.

'No one' His answer disappointed me, so I quickly moved on to the next person. 'You?' I asked, and here I could doubt his answer, but decided not to once it came.

'No one' It kept going like that for a couple of guys, nothing really surprising.

I left Oliver for last. He was the guy I'd had a crush on ever since he'd come to school. The guy who'd known I liked him, yet decided to ignore it. That was enough to make me feel like crap. Anyway, that had been a while ago, and I still liked him. To be completely honest, I was planning to ask him out.

Maybe it would actually work out if I just asked.

But Alex's answer really surprised me; 'No one, he has a girlfriend'.

I'll admit it. I felt a small part of me die right then. A bit of hope went away so quickly it hurt. Yes, I'd known he'd had a girlfriend, but the rumour had it they'd broken up... Rumour also had it he'd slept with her though, which no one was able to confirm or deny except for him, and it was just plain awkward to go up and ask him.

I didn't waste long thinking about it. I knew if I took too long answering Alex would notice, and even though the whole class knew I liked him, I still didn't want to make it seem to obvious.

'I thought they broke up?' I wrote, trying to ignore the feeling that was starting to build up deep inside of me.

Sadness. Heartbreak. But how could I have my heart broken by a person I'd merely had a crush on? Maybe it wasn't heartbreak. Maybe it was just mere jealousy for whoever was lucky enough to be his girlfriend.

The guy was cute, talented and sweet. Not to mention funny. Maybe not the brightest crayon in the box, but intelligence wasn't something you paid much attention to in a guy. At least I didn't. It was good enough for me if a guy was funny and sweet.

'They got back together' the idea wouldn't have seemed so stupid if his girlfriend didn't live in Croatia.

Yes, I know what a long distance relationship is. No, I don't think long distance relationships usually work between teenagers. Maybe it was just me, I don't know.

He didn't wait for my answer. My phone buzzed once again 'Now it's your turn' he said.

I'm not the girl who knows everything about everyone, like he is, but I did know some stuff. It started off pretty normal, with 'Who does she like?' questions, and he hadn't asked about half the class when he suddenly asked how everyone knew he had a girlfriend.

We discussed that for a couple of texts, but Alex has a thing for changing subjects randomly, and the next text I got from him was even worse than talking about Oliver.

'Is it true that every girl in the class except for Anna hates you?'

It shocked me. It was so random and straight forward. I did suspect it, I mean, it wasn't hard to guess. But did he really expect me to just treat it like gossip?

It hurt. It hurt because I realized it. Before I just suspected it, and to be honest I just suspected it occasionally. Usually I just forgot about it.

But now, knowing it wasn't just me; knowing it was true. Knowing the people I'd trusted and considered my friends for over a year had been faking it all along? It hurt so bad.

He must have realized it was wrong, because his next text came quickly after the first one.

'Sorry. At least I don't hate you :)'

It made a sad smile appear on my lips. Yes, it did actually make me feel better, but not enough to avoid feeling like I did.

I changed the topic with Alex, but the conversation didn't last much longer.

I didn't want to, but I couldn't really help it either. I broke down in tears soon after. I felt sad, betrayed. I felt like the world I'd lived it for over a year was all lies. It wasn't real.

The friendship, the people. Nearly everything was just people pretending. Why they pretended? I have no idea. But they did, and that's what really matters. The fact that only one or two girls didn't hate me for no apparent reason.

And thankfully, those two didn't hate me at all.

When I talked to Anna, after I explained it to her, she didn't seem to be able to deny it either. Of course, she did want to make sure I was okay, and she made sure she told me that she didn't hate me, and that she thought I was one of the funniest people in the class.

It only made me feel a tiny bit better though. And I still felt like shit afterwards.

What would you do if you found yourself in this situation? Especially if all the people you actually care about are across the globe?

A/N: So that's it. First thing I publish on FP, and it's based of my too-shitty-for-words weekend. Will you guys please give me advice? Or just tell me what you thought of the story as a whole? Thanks for taking the time to read this, by the way. Means a lot. Reviews will make my weekend better :)