I should have never let you in, if only I knew the consequences.
I should have never given you a chance, if only I knew it would hurt you more.
I should have never lied to you, if only I knew it was not true.
I should have never made it seem as if I felt the same.

I should have yelled, I should have screamed, I should have made you hate me.
I should have cried, I should have wept, I should have shown the pain I felt.
I should have cared, I should have loved, I should have felt some joy.
But why, why do I hurt now, when I no longer care?
And why, why are you still sad, when I finally told you truth?

I should never have let you convince me that anything could be worth the effort.
I should never have let you deceive me into believing that I matter.
I should never have let you tell me all those things you said.
And now, after all of this, you are still hidden here.
Burrowed deep within my heart, eating away at me.
I don’t care, I really don’t, you’ll never understand.
And I really, really never should have done the things I did.

So just stop apologizing.