|The Artist's Hands
Author: Soleste81 PM
Abandoned in an all boys boarding school, Rammas is fine with life and his boyfriend, until Sisn walks away when he needs him most. Now, Rammas is trying to move on and learn to use the hands he almost lost again.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,383 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11-11-09 - id: 2740264
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Rammas, you're back already," a surprised voice said behind me, making me jump and drop my carefully extracted key on the floor. Cursing softly, I ignored the person behind me, kneeling down and trying desperately to pick my key up off the floor with fingers that wouldn't listen to me. "Here, let me," he said, gently brushing my useless hands aside and picking up my key. Sighing, I righted myself and looked up at Ash, blinking a bit in surprise.
"Thanks," I mumbled and held out my hand to take my key back, only to have my wrist lose tension and flop. Grimacing in the pain caused by both the attempt to hold my hand out flat and the subsequent flop, I turned my eyes to my door.
"Coach said that they had to do surgery," Ash said, sliding my key into the lock and opening my door for me.
"Thanks," I mumbled again, stepping into my small room. "Come in, if you'd like." I turned and flopped into the desk chair, trying not to cry in front of the captain of the school's wrestling team. I felt useless, even moreso than before. Now, I was thoroughly screwed.
"You did these?" Ash asked and I looked up to follow his line of sight. He was looking at some paintings I had done of various sporting events the school had held. When his eyes traveled back over to me, I nodded, feeling my depression deepen. Those paintings had won first place in an art festival last year. Now, I couldn't even hold my hand out flat, let alone pick up a paintbrush. "They're really good. I'd heard that you were really talented, but I'd never had a chance to check out your work for myself. It's really- Hey, why are you crying?" he asked, and I finally noticed the tears sliding down my cheeks. I turned away from him wiping at my wet face with the back of my arm. Then my eyes fell on my sketchbook and pencils scattered over my desk.
"Rammas..." Ash whispered as my threw my arm across my desk, sending everything flying across the room in my temper tantrum. "What's wrong?" I could feel him behing me, a nervous hand hovering over my shoulder, afraid of further upsetting me.
"What do you know?" I asked softly, keeping my head on my desk, my eyes closed. "What all do you know of what happened?" I clarified, thinking my first question could have been taken wrong.
"I found you on the floor in the locker room, bleeding badly, half naked and unconscious," he said softly and I heard him sit carefully on the edge of my bed. "When Coach got there, he covered you with a towel, but I saw the blood on your legs before then. The nurse made someone get ice and then put your hands in it up to your elbows. I didn't understand right away why she had done that, but when Coach came back from the hospital he told me that you'd had to have surgery. After that, police came and arrested Shaths." I sighed a bit. He knew, but he didn't know. "If you're up for telling me, I'm up for listening."
"Shaths... asked me for help with something and like an idiot I followed him," I muttered. "When we turned away from the art room, I started to panic and rethink my decision. He grabbed my hands before I could get out of reach and then tied my hands together with some twine. He dragged me to the locker room, boasting about how the PE teacher always went off campus to smoke that period. He looped my bound wrists over a hook in the shower room and disrobed me from the waist down. The door opened just as he pulled his pants down and Sisn walked in, before walking right back out."
"Wait, wait," Ash said, interrupting me. "I thought you were dating Sisn. At least that is what I gathered when I asked around about you over the last couple of weeks." I turned my head enough to look at him, thrown off for a moment that he'd been asking around about me for a couple of weeks now.
"I thought so too," I mumbled, feeling that same sense of betrayal that I had when he walked away. "But he left me there, my wrists already beginning to bleed from where the twine was cutting my skin. He left me there for Shaths to rape me. When he was done, he cut the twine and left. The surgery they did, was to both save my life and save my hands. Though, right now, I don't really understand why. The twine cut most of the nerves, the veins and deep into the muscle in my wrists. They repaired it, as best they could, but they don't hold any hope of me having the same useage of my hands that I did before." I saw the horror of realization materialize on his face and I looked away. I didn't need his pity. I was wallowing in plenty of it already.
"So that means you're single?" Ash asked and my head snapped in his direction. I hadn't been expecting that kind of question. He moved closer, his hands sliding over my thighs until they got to my hips and he turned me to face him. "Are you single?" he asked again, leaning in slightly. My breath caught in my chest and my face heated up as I blushed. I was about to nod as my door opened and Sisn walked in.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sisn asked, hands on his hips as the door automatically closed behind him. Ash slowly pulled back, his eyes locked on Sisn as his hands returned to his side, clenched into fists.
"I could ask you the same, Sisn," he said, his voice darker than I imagined it could be. He looked angry and the tenseness of his muscles worried me. However, I couldn't bring myself to look at Sisn. Not without seeing the memory of him walking away anyhow. "I'm surprised that you'd show your face around here after leaving Rammas to be raped and nearly killed."
"This is between me and Rammas," Sisn snapped. "It has nothing to do with you, Ash. So get out of here and get away from my Rammas." Ash didn't move more than to turn his eyes to me, worry evident the green orbs that looked down at me.
"Do you want me to go?" he asked softly. I glanced between him and a fuming Sisn and shook my head. Before Ash could saying anything else, I felt the punch connect to the side of my face, the force knocking me out of my chair to the floor in front of my desk. "What the fuck, Sisn?!" Ash yelled, moving to restrain the thoroughly pissed off brunette.
"You fucking little whore!" Sisn spat, trying to kick me while Ash held him. "For a minute I actually believed that you were raped, but here you are already moving on with someone else! You're just a goddamned whore!"
"You abandoned me! You left me there for him to rape me! Christ, Sisn! He almost killed me! Because of you walking away with your stupid little beliefs, I can't even use my fucking hands!" I screamed. Suddenly he stopped thrashing against Ash's hold on him, his eyes widening as he stared at me. I'd never raised my voice in anger before. I'd always taken his insults and threats and just accepted it. I'd never fought back, even when he was too rough with me.
"Rammas?" Sisn asked softly. I could feel the tears of frustration and anger rolling in steady streams down my cheeks, as I tried to curl my fingers into fists. "So it was true? You really weren't seeing Shaths behind my back?" I closed my eyes, my lips pressing tightly together as I tried hard not to scream in frustration.
"Listen well, Sisn," I said very softly but firmly. "I am not the type of person who fucks around with others when I'm with someone exclusively. I wish you had understood that the first hundred times I told you, but this is the last time I will tell you. You betrayed me. I can't believe we are even standing here now having this conversation."
"Rammas, I-" he started, but I raised a hand, which immediately flopped over, to stop anything he had to say.
"Save it, Sisn," I muttered. "We could have had this arguement if you hadn't walked away when I needed you. I did care about you, but I'm done, Sisn. I can't look at you without seeing you turn your back on me. Please leave." Sisn stared at me in disbelief, as I showed my backbone for probably the first time in my life. He frowned deeply, jerking his arms from Ash's now loose hold on him and stalked out of the room. As soon as the door shut once more behind him, I collapsed like a marionette who's strings had been cut. Before I could hit the floor though, Ash had his arms around me, holding me up.
"Are you okay, Rammas?" he asked softly as he helped me over to the bed. My entire body was trembling now from the adrenaline rush.
"F-fine," I stuttered, turning my eyes down to my useless hands. "I-I'm j-just s-surprised at m-myself." I flinched as his hand touched my cheek.
"That's going to leave a bruise," Ash murmured. "And your wrists have bled through the gauze. You should probably go see the nurse and have her take care of it." I nodded a little.
"I needed to go see her anyhow, with the paperwork from the doctor," I muttered. I blew out a heavy breath and stood up, crossing the room to the door. I put my hand on the knob and tried to close my fingers around it, but I couldn't get enough of a grip to make it turn.
"If it's okay with you, Rammas," Ash said, reaching around me and putting his hand on top of mine. "I don't mind helping you for awhile. At least as long as you can stand me anyhow." I turned my head to look up at him, and then nodded slightly. He smiled, his hand gripping over mine and turning the knob on the door. "After you, then."