Summary: Poor Vince Daniels is subjected to night school when a prank goes terribly wrong. Now all he has is his dumb friend Tanner and some freak who thinks he's a vampire. Oh God what is this world coming to? *slash* - Not a real vampire story.

CH. 1

Dylan Parsion is weird- and when I say weird I mean like the kid in the back of a kindergarten class eating paste (only a more mature version because we are way past that age). If it was up to me I would have never met the kid, but due to some unforeseen circumstances (that may or may not involve breaking into the school at three AM in a drunken attempt to prank a teacher by quick-dry-cementing everything to the floor) I was stuck. Damn teachers have no sense of humor. Wait where was I again?

Oh yeah. The reason I'm now attending night school. You see my principal, unlike the stoic teacher I was attempting to prank, has a sense of humor. Only his is pretty screwed up. He sentenced me to night school because I was "so keen on going to school after the sun had set." Ha. Ha. Ha.

Night school is for freaks or losers. They're the kids that are either so afraid of socializing they need to be with a smaller crowd or the pregnant girls too terrified of getting teased. I fit into neither of those categories seeing as I was male and it was physically impossible for me to get knocked up and I absolutely loved to party. I swear it was half the reason of my existents.

I guess that was another reason the maniacal principal Parks had chosen this specific punishment for me. It cut me off from all my friends. Well except Tanner but I swear he is a freaking idiot. I doubt he knows how to count past his fingers. Maybe night school would be good for him.

Any way the whole class of people in my grade taking night classes consisted of Dylan, A pregnant girl named Jill, another girl whom I guess falls into the category of anti-social because I didn't even know her name, a boy who was rather skittish around me and twitched every five seconds and lastly a girl named Tara who I could only guess hated me. I didn't know what her problem was. I had only been there one day so far -not even an hour- and she already was acting like I killed her cat.

I guess I should have included Tanner and me but really? If we had been able to run as fast as the others and if Tanner hadn't tripped we probably wouldn't be here. I snap the rubber band around my wrist every couple of minutes in punishment for taking the moral root and stand by the phrase "No one gets left behind."

"Mr. Daniels do you care to repeat what I just said?" The teacher asked glaring down his big nose at me.

I looked up at him once I heard my name. He was about the biggest geek I had ever seen. He was even wearing a sweater vest over a button-down, hell he even had polka-dotted bow tie. I praised the jokester who had told him that was a good look.

"Not really." I told him with a shrug referring to his question.

I got a murmur of laughs in response to my jest. Mr. Fauxtour (Pronounced Foe Tour as he reminded me several occasions on meeting me) did not find it as amusing. He sucked in his cheeks and his eyes narrowed. "Mr. Daniels please do not fall under the assumption that just because this is a punishment in it's self and that it is at night that I can not give you a detention."

That got my attention. I didn't want to spend another minute in the eerie school. It had a total different effect at night. I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with the fact that of how big and empty feeling it was, that and all the weird kids. "No way! I don't want to be here for detention!" I complained.

, who I'll just call Mr. F from hear on out –it's a lot simpler on the eyes and tongue- grinned. "Then I suggest you pay attention." The class again had a moment of giggles as I seethed in my seat. The only one who didn't laugh was Tanner. Good thing too. He may be dumb but he had a guy's back.

Like I think I've mentioned before this is a night school, which means we didn't have a lunch break but a dinner break. It was a pretty late dinner too because the lower grades go before us. Being a junior that meant we had five hours of school before our lunch leaving the time for dinner around nine o'clock. In all fairness I had been warned to actually eat a meal before hand. I just hadn't listened. I thought they were joking.

When we were released for dinner to the cafeteria I noticed some other kids in there too. So it seemed we weren't the only juniors. I smiled to myself hoping some of these kids would be more interesting and I could somehow get transferred to their class instead. My good mood stayed until I was pointed out that these kids were seniors. I could practically feel my eye twitch.

If cafeteria lunches were bad cafeteria dinners were by all means the most disgusting thing on the planet. Tonight they served two options. Option A, included a generous clomp of goop and Option B, included a delightful display of something I swear was hamburger regurgitated. I grabbed three bags of chips and went to sit down and wait for Tanner who, unlike me, could eat anything and was currently trying to convince the lunch- dinner lady to allow him to get three servings for the price of one. He was a charmer; I bet he could do it.

"Yeah, the Dinner's here kind of suck, might I suggest you bring from home? That's what I do." Dylan Parison (not that I knew that was his name) suggested sitting himself down from across from me. He opened a brown paper bag and pulled out a homemade sub sandwich. "You want some?" He asked offering me some.

Now let me you stop there. You're looking at me oddly aren't you wondering why in the world I would think this kid was strange, aren't you? I mean all you know is that the kid has offered me a bit of his sandwich and made polite conversation with me. Well that's not the whole story. You should see the kid.

If I may, I will know paint you a lovely portrait of the freak sitting across from me holding out what looks like the most delicious sandwich I have ever seen.

He's one of those Goth kids. You know, facial piercing and boys wearing makeup. He had pierced his left ear and if I was correct the shiny thing in his mouth was not a dime he was sucking on. Although I'm sure he would. Dimes taste metallic and so does blood but hold on we haven't even gotten to that part of the story yet. The little freak has so much wrong with him it's easy to get distracted.

Besides the piercing he had gone and dyed his hair. It was black color and had been swept over half of his face, so maybe he wasn't Goth but emo but honestly I don't know the difference. They both were weird people obsessed with death and other crap that related to it.

To top it all off he was taller then me. That alone didn't piss me off too much; I was only five foot seven so other guys being taller then me was something I just had to accept. However he was like six foot four and almost a foot taller then me, and that bothered me.

I declined the sandwich and stuck to my chips. I would bring my own tomorrow but there was no chance in hell I was accepting food from a freak. His freak germs were probably all over it and I didn't want to catch those. It was bad enough I was here I couldn't imagine what I would be put through if I got any more like a loser. The words "Social Pariah" do come to mind though.

Tanner trotted up to the table and put his tray next to me and gave Dylan and I look. It was sad really how easy Tanner was to read. It was like you could see him trying to get why the little Goth boy was sitting with us.

Giving up Tanner just smiled at him and offered him his hand, assuming I was okay with it just because he was sitting there. "I'm Tanner."

"Dylan." Although it was a comment supposedly for Tanner I felt the little slime's eyes on me.

I tried to ignore him and just continue eating.

"Dude! You're teeth are like messed up!" Tanner shouted. I looked up to see Dylan's mouth snapped shut. "They're all like pointy and shit!" My god was my friend gifted with the way of the word. He should become a writer or something with the way he can ease into things.

"Everybody has pointy teeth dip-shit." I pointed out to him with a light smack on the back of the head. I didn't want to hit him too hard and cause him to loose more brain cells then he could afford. No way in hell would I be the one spoon feeding his vegetable ass.

Ms. I-hate-you-and-wish-you-a-very-painful-death snuck up behind me and braced her hands on my shoulders. "Yes, but not everybody's a vampire!" She told us using what I guessed was her 'scary' voice.

I turned around and shook off her hands. "Yeah uh-huh and he glitters in the sun and reads people's minds." I rolled my eyes. Twilight really messed with girls minds.

"Oh shut up pretty boy. And do you have an explanation to why his teeth are that pointy and he won't go out in the sun?" She asked as she walked around the table to take a seat with Dylan.

He sent her a glare. "Tara."

"Yeah?" She asked suddenly perky. Could anyone say Bi-polar? 'Cause I sure could!

"Stop it."

I caught a glimpse of his canine teeth as he growled at her and fuck- they really were that pointy.

"So he got those Veneers or what ever. My Cousin's best friend's sister has them big deal." I shrugged it off.

Tanner looked at me in awe of my explanation. Man I bet I could get him to believe ants were walking chocolate if I wanted to. Not that I was lying in that particular insistence. My word just seemed like the gospel to him.

Dylan got an evil look on his face and leaned across the table. "Maybe they aren't veneers; maybe they're my real teeth. That would make me a vampire wouldn't?" He asked and I backed away from him. He was starting to really mess with my head.

"Y-yeah, but vampires aren't real." My voice was like a milkshake as I tried to rationalize. And not the good kind either- the clumpy and shook up kind full of foam.

To this he just rose a single eyebrow- the bastard and leaned back. He picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

"See!" I practically shouted. I don't know why but this was bugging me. "You can't be you're eating real food!"

"Yeah and vampires only drink blood." Tanner tried to help by putting his two cents in.

I gave him a look that clearly read (in a vary sarcastic tone), no really? Don't ask how looks can be sarcastic, if you ever had a friend in your life you'd know.

He shrugged at me and went back to eating his slop like a good little piggy.

"Hmm, maybe I'm not an ordinary vampire." He suggested with a wink (which I chose to ignore).

"What is this? – The psych-ward? Let me clear things up for you, vampires- number one aren't real. Number two don't sparkle incase that stupid book confused you and Number three?" I took a breath. "Vampire's aren't real."

He licked his lips. "Don't be silly the sun burns of course."

"So you're taking the classic route I see. Doesn't diminish the fact that they aren't real." I finished one of the tiny bags of chips. I hated how little they actually gave you it was like an evil master mind invented them to fill the landfills.

"Maybe." Smug bastard was taking way too much enjoyment out of my misery. I wish sporks were sharper. Then I could steal Tanner's and stab the grinning idiot.

Tara in all her radiance and brilliance chose to intervene. Not that it was good for me, of course not, what I was using right then was something called sarcasm. Something both she and I spoke fluently.

"Come Dylan it is time for us to leave these ordinary humans in light of far more pleasant company." So, it wasn't sarcasm- but it was something that I presumed she thought resembled a dis.

It didn't even make me blink. "Oh, and what are you a witch?"

"Precisely, my dear now be good or I'll put a hex on you." She stood and dragged the wanna-be-vampire away.

"Do you think they're really a vampire and a witch?" Tanner asked me cocking his stupid blond head to the side.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him on the shoulder. "Sure, and I'm an alien."

"You are?" He asked and his eyes got wide. I bet he was picturing me unzipping my forehead and stepping out of my skin as a green goopy thing. The boy watched too many sci-fi programs.

"No you idiot!" I yelled at him and hit him upside the head.

He rubbed the back of his head glaring at me. "Gesh, I was just kidding."

I got home around eleven thirty. I technically should have been home at Ten thirty. Considering Dinner was the last thing of the day (announcements aside which were attendance mandatory). But Tanner and I hadn't really felt like going home right away. It had been a stressful first day of class with the even bigger freaks then normal school and for the next two years I would be stuck.

On top of that I was grounded and wasn't supposed to be going anywhere anyway. But my parents didn't know when I needed to be home. They did however wait up- much to my dismay and my little sister Hannah (Like OMG like Hannah Montana! - does anyone else smell that loathsome hate?) Delight.

"How was your first day?" My mom asked as she flicked off the television and turned to look at me. She had been sitting on the couch braiding Hannah's hair while my father sat in his chair sipping decaffeinated coffee reading some old news paper.

I shrugged dropping my bag on the floor. "Sucked."

"Well, you should have thought about that before you broke into the school. You're lucky you weren't sent to Juvenile Hall." My Dad spoke somberly and took another sip. I could tell he had been waiting to say that all evening. Damn Bastard.

"Whatever I'm going to bed." I told them and tried to escape.

"Don't you have homework?" My annoying sister asked.

I glared at her. "I'll do it when I wake up."

She snorted and continued to try and get me in trouble. "If you wake up. You'll sleep the day away."

"And that's exactly what you'll wish you could do tomorrow when you wake up and realize that you stayed up too late arguing with your brother. Now Hannah up to bed. We told you, you could stay up to meet him when he got home but now-," My father made a gesture with the hand holding the coffee towards the stairs without looking up from his newspaper once. "On with you." I stuck up my tongue at her as she stomped up the stairs ahead of me.

"Vince?" My father's voice rang up as I almost made it up the stairs.

"Yeah, what?" I sighed.

"Make sure you do wake up in time to finish all your homework. You don't want to know what will happen if you flunk out on top of this. Your mother and I will not tolerate it."

I sighed again. "Yeah, I know."

A/N So kinda short first chapter but I hope this is a lot funnier then the other stuff I write. Before I have some people complaining- No, Dylan isn't really a vampire. Just thought I'd write that because there are so many cheesy vampire stories around after twilight came out. If your heart set on a vampire fic though I recommend

**Please note this is an unbetta'd version so if you are a person who would like to betta this just let me know and we'll work something out! **