This is for Subconscious-Flirt, for early Christmas. And for Christmas. Because I'm cool. And because when I started writing this I started thinking of her. Oh, and also because I had the idea while I was on Facebook and then I saw her name and…well, that's not important and it made more sense in my head. But anyways :D I shall post it on her Facebook on Christmas. This link, I mean. So even if she's reading this right now, on Christmas she can leave a review like omfg I didn't read this earlier or something. I don't know. Whatever. Christmas gay boys. Yay.

I also really want to write some male elf/male elf slash for Christmas. As in, Santa's elves. I don't know why. xDD

Happy Chrismanukwanzaakah

I can't give my boyfriend anything for Christmas.

Don't give me that look. It's not MY fault. And that's usually the point where I say, "…okay, it is..." but really this time, it's not. It's mostly because Elijah doesn't celebrate Christmas. Which is like, what the fuck with me, because Christmas is awesome and stuff. I love Christmas. Like, to an extent where loving Christmas should be a psychological brain damage…or something. Yeah. I usually like to relate it to my name, even though that doesn't really make any sense because I never really understood why Alvin & the Chipmunks have all these Christmas stuff, but I'm not really complaining. It just gives me more of an excuse to like the stupid holiday. The stupid awesome holiday.

Anyways.

Actually, I don't even know if he celebrates Christmas or not. But I honestly don't think he does. I'm pretty sure Elijah celebrates Hanukkah. I never got a chance to ask him, but really, do I NEED to? I mean, just look at his name. ELIJAH. It's a total Jewish name. Like, not in the derogatory-Jewish way (if that makes any sense. See: South Park), but it's probably the symbol that if there's ONE winter holiday he celebrates, it's Hanukkah. Which is fine with me, really. I'm game for any holiday during this time of year. Because really, it's the best part. The reason why the end is the best? Well, yes, because it's the END (and who doesn't like the end? Losers, that's who) but also that's when the giant concentration of holidays is. Like, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's. Hell, we could even go back to Halloween. Yeah. Holidays. They're nice.

But the issue here is that even though I don't know WHICH one of these winter holidays Elijah celebrates, regardless, I still have to get him SOMETHING. That has to do with the holiday, of course. Or else what would be the point of the holiday? So I need to know what he celebrates. You'd think after being his boyfriend for about six months, I would know, but I mean, the majority of the time we were together it was during the summer. How the hell was I supposed to know if he was Christian or Jewish or whatever the fuck religion Kwanzaa was for (if it WAS for a religion. I dunno)? But I'm pretty sure he's Jewish, though. You can't be more of a Jew than have your name be "Elijah."

Well, you could. And I'm not complaining, really. I mean, even though I'm not a big guy with names, Elijah's pretty sexy. Better than Alvin, at least. Anyways.

So that's kind of why I appeared at his front door on the first day of Hanukkah with a plate of latkes and a little menorah thing. On my face was a smug grin (since I was PRETTY sure that I was about to just make his holiday...or whatever) and even though I wasn't wearing anything but my underwear, jeans, a tee shirt and my mother's scarf around my neck, I felt pretty damn good about myself. So.

"Alvin," he said, and he looked astonished at me. I didn't think it was because of my presence (since I tended to show up at his house at random times, anyways. Once time I did at like, three am during a school day. Given, I had been pelting twigs (there weren't any pebbles. Sadface) at his window and he snuck me in and then we had sex, he got the flu from me (not swine flu, sorry) and then we stayed in his house for the rest of day; obviously I had gotten a detention for skipping because I didn't have an excuse for not going to school since I hadn't gone to my house. But whatever. Not like my parents cared, much less noticed. And you should see my grades. So.), but rather at what I was wearing, since, well, you know.

I just smiled some more and stuck my hands out to him.

"Happy Hanukkah, Eli," I said cheerfully. A bemused frown appeared on his face, but then suddenly his mother rushed to the door.

"Elijah, who is- Oh, it's you, Alvin." Elijah's mother looked at me, her lips curled a bit on the sides, but not exactly a smile. Well, she had never really struck me the type to be Jewish before, but I guess she could. I mean, I always thought that Jewish mothers were like angry and always on their menstruation period or whatever, but I guess the caring, loving, not a homophobe but not completely supporting teenagers dating kind work too. Hm.

She eyed the plate in my palms carefully, like I had spiked them with powdered coke or something. Which I didn't, for your information. Though I suppose the sour cream could look a little bit suspicious. I'm not exactly the best sour cream-maker. But I do make a pretty kickass batch of latkes. See: my best friend is Jewish. (He's straight, and male too. Weird? I guess, for the stereotypes. Then again, so am I) "What's that for?" Elijah's mom asked me. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"These are latkes, Mrs. Bennett," I said, stepping into their house. "You should know. You know. For Hanukkah?"

"I know what they're for," Mrs. Bennett said to me patiently, moving further inside and giving me more room to walk in. She closed the door, and then glanced back at the plate in my hands as I brought them into the kitchen. "I just don't understand why you have them."

"For HANNUKAH. Why else?" I pressed, setting them and the menorah on the counter. Then I turned around to face Eli, who looked both amused and worried. "Honestly, isn't it obvious enough?" I added to him.

Mrs. Bennett frowned some more. "But Alvin, we don't--"

"Mom, don't worry about it," Elijah interrupted, tugging at my arm and making his way towards the stairs into the hall. "I'll deal with Al. You should just like, eat the latkes or something. Or put them in the fridge."

"Well they do have a lot of carbs." Mrs. Bennett considered them a bit, and then shrugged and started pulling off the plastic wrap. Elijah rolled his eyes, and then led me up to his bedroom, while I stumbled down the hall. Damn, that boy has a tight grip.

Well, I would know. Heh heh. Sex jokes and stuff.

We went in, and once he had locked the door and turned around to face me, I looked at him and grinned. "Impressed, eh? I got you latkes and you didn't even need to tell me you were Jewish. Do I get thank you sex now?"

Elijah continued staring at me with a bewildered look on his face. "Al, um, I don't celebrate Hanukkah."

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course you celebrate Hanukkah." I rolled my eyes. "That's why I made you the latkes. And your name's Elijah, anyways. It makes perfect sense."

"Except I never told you that I was Jewish, Al," he said to me pointedly, going over around his room to his desk and turning the lamp light on. "You shouldn't assume things like that."

"You're not Jewish?" I said while raising my eyebrows disbelievingly. He seemed just as shocked as me.

"Not really..."

"And so you don't celebrate Hanukkah?" I asked, baffled. Elijah shook his head.

"Other than singing Jewish songs for chorus and eating Jewish food at parties, no, Al," he replied. "I honestly don't see when you ever could have been under that impression."

"Well, it was kind of the Biblical name that made me think that," I responded, pouting a bit to myself and looking down on the floor. Well boo. My four hours this morning making tasty Jewish foods for my boyfriend, wasted. Because he doesn't celebrate Hanukkah, but had never bothered to tell me, leaving me under the impression that he DID. You'd think that if you had such a flamboyant named like that that you'd at least mention it, once or twice.

"Sorry Al." Elijah looked at me apologetically. "But I do appreciate the latkes. They're just...not my holiday?"

"Shoulda told me that earlier," I grumbled. I met my gaze with his again. "Then that means I don't get thank you sex?"

Elijah glanced at the door.

"When my mother leaves the house for work. Just for the thought," he said. "We can innocently make out, though."

"Or not-so innocently make out," I grinned, and he just said nothing, but sat on his mattress and pulled me on his lap. He kissed me, and I smiled smugly against his lips.

I love having a horny, dominating boyfriend. Even if I get him the wrong winter present.

--

He didn't really seem like the type, but shortly after this, I started thinking that he might just probably celebrated Christmas. I mean, seriously. Plenty of non-Christians celebrated Christmas (though, my family was Christian and we did. That's not saying anything. I know), and it's pretty much the most popular holiday in the world. Or at least, the US. So if he didn't celebrate Hanukkah like I thought, then he MUST celebrate Christmas. Regardless being Christian or not (silly religion-based holidays).

So, you know, the next day at school, I approached him at his locker with a tiny cute Christmas trinket, complete with a miniature Santa on a sleigh lead by eight reindeer (obviously, they forgot Rudolph). He was busy putting all his books and stuff in, so he didn't notice me until he looked up and saw me grinning yet again, the present delicately wrapped in my hand. I stuck my arm out to him.

"Merry Christmas, Elijah," I sang cheerfully to him. He furrowed his eyebrows, and put the books in his right hand into his left, and then used his right hand to take the present from my grasp.

"Um, thanks Alvin," he said. "But Christmas isn't for like, ten days…?"

"I know," I said happily, glad that he had accepted it (well, it wasn't like he hadn't accepted the Hanukkah presents. But this time it actually looked like he wanted them pertaining to the holiday). "It's just an early thing."

"An early thing?" He turned his attention back to the gift in his hands. "What do you mean?"

"It's kind of like the latkes and menorah thing I gave you yesterday, you know?" I enthused, shoving his present and his hand together further into his grip. "Except this time, you know, you actually celebrate Christmas, right?"

"Well, not technically." Elijah swung his backpack over his shoulder, and then closed his locker. "I'm not Christian."

"So? That doesn't mean that you can't celebrate Christmas," I pointed out. He shook his head.

"No, actually, my family doesn't believe in religious holidays or anything like that," he replied.

"But Christmas isn't a religious holiday," I said to him. "I mean, I guess technically it is, but there's tons of fucking non-religious families that celebrate it."

"Yeah, but we just find it stupid. Well, I don't really, but just not to piss my parents off, I don't really do anything about it," he responded. "I mean, I guess to an extent I do do stuff for it? Like, at school and at parties. But not…really…"

"Wait, so you mean you not even Christmas?" I stared at him incredulously. "You don't celebrate Christmas? Out of all the winter holidays, you don't even celebrate the biggest fucking holiday on the Western Hemisphere?"

"Well I mean, I do sing carols and I eat candy canes and stuff, I just…I don't really exchange gifts or anything," he explained to me, like that was good enough. My hand felt incredibly willed to hit him upside the head at this comment, but I refrained and just continued watching him like he was the weirdest thing I had ever set my eyes on.

Which was pretty close, you know. What kind of person doesn't celebrate Christmas? Aside from the Jews, of course. Though I'm pretty sure that there might even be Jews who celebrate Christmas. Goddamn.

"So you mean that I didn't even need to get you this present either?" I gestured to the wrapped box in his hand. "I wasted my time buying this for you too?"

"Well you didn't waste your time. I do appreciate it, Al," Elijah said quickly. "I just…there's no point for it? Maybe?"

"You could have told me that earlier, too," I said to him. "So now what am I supposed to do?"

"It's okay. You don't have to get me anything," Eli comforted, resting a hand on my arm. I sighed, but allowed him to lead me away down the hall to our next class. Well. Great. I also now wasted about five dollars on the stupid little Christmas trinket (okay, maybe it wasn't stupid, since it was for my boyfriend. But I did waste the money. Because stupid fucking souvenir stores-and-pharmacy whatevers like to overprice Christmas presents because they know people'll end up wasting their money on it, so they want to make it about triple of what it's worth. Conspiracy, I tell you) for my boyfriend who didn't even celebrate the holiday. So what else was I supposed to get him?

--

On December 23rd, the day right before we got out from school for holiday break, I spent most of my school day pondering on what the hell I should be doing for Elijah. I mean, it had been nearly a week since the Christmas present, but since he didn't need that (he wanted it, obviously. He mooches things off me all the time. And even if I willingly gave him something stupid and pointless, like that ornament, he'd still want it) I needed to get him something. I just had to. It didn't matter what holiday he celebrated. Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, anything else, if I didn't give him any present that he actually wanted or needed this winter season, it'd just feel…not right. I'm a very giving person. And if there was one person I should give anything to, it would be my boyfriend, or no one else.

So, er. I didn't know what else he could possibly celebrate. Aside from Kwanzaa. Even though, if I hadn't mentioned it before, Elijah's completely all-white, and I really doubt that he has a trace of African in him. Though I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get him something. Just for shits and giggles. And, you know, maybe he did? Maybe.

So after school, I took a quick run back to the souvenir store-and-pharmacy whatever thing again, and as I jingled the door open, I saw Elijah standing there, by the counter and talking to the dude at the cash register. I stopped short and swore under my breath. Shit. I couldn't buy anything with him here. Well, I could. But I didn't want him knowing that I was buying his present while he was in the same room as me. I turned and ran down the first aisle of the pharmacy, to the small medical section so he couldn't see me.

The ladies at the medicine-dealing part of the store glared at me oddly (well, I suppose I did look a tad bit suspicious, since I was sneaking around and looking all shady and all), but I ignored them and cautiously looked around the shelves, to see the Elijah was just heading out of the store, and saying good-bye to the dudes at the counter. The bell on the door jingled again, like it had when I had come in. Once I was sure he was completely out of ear- and eyeshot, I went back around to the front of the store to look at the tables that were lined with expensive Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa presents and see what I could get for my boyfriend who had just left this shop. Yes, I'm slightly cheap. But I'm also giving. And that's what counts?

"Hey, weren't you here just yesterday?" asked the dude at the counter, who had obviously seen me. I glanced up to look at him.

"Um yeah. Why?" I asked.

"You bought that sleigh thing, didn't you? Did you give it to that guy who just exited?" he asked.

I scrutinized him carefully. He couldn't have been too much older than me. Though it was a bit weird on how observant he was. I mean, really. He knew I was here before, and then he knew that I gave it to Elijah. Stalker much?

"Yeah. I did. How did you know that?" I asked, frowning. He shrugged and gestured back to the glass doors.

"He was carrying it around and saying that it was one of the best presents he's ever gotten, even though he didn't believe in Christmas," he replied. "I don't know. Just thought it was thoughtful, I guess, that's all."

"What do you mean? He actually liked it?" I said, surprised. Not that I shouldn't be, but I didn't think he'd like it that much. To the extent that he'd tell some random stranger. Or carry it around. Really.

"Apparently. He also had a menorah thing that those Jewish people use," he responded. "I dunno. Did you give that to him too?"

"Yeah, I did…" I looked up in thought. "But he doesn't celebrate Hanukkah! Or Christmas!"

"Maybe he doesn't really care," the guy said, rolling his eyes and giving me a look. "Maybe he just cares more about the gifts. Did you ever think of that?"

"Well of course I did. I'm his boyfriend," I replied. "But he doesn't really believe in the stupid holidays! They don't count! And I need to give him a present for a holiday that he does believe in!"

"Well I don't know. All I can think of left is Kwanzaa. If you want to give him something, you could buy one of the kinara models," he suggested, indicating the small table of holiday trinkets I was currently standing at. I rolled my own eyes, but proceeded to do as he suggested, since I still had to get him something.

Weird creeper cash register guys. The things I do for love.

--

I managed just to catch up with Elijah on his way home from walking home. He had been at a rather slow pace, so not much attempt was needed as I ran up to him on the sidewalk. When he (clearly had) heard me, he turned around and gave me a slightly confused and shocked look at my presence. Which I didn't blame him for, since I had kind of appeared out of nowhere and since I usually walked with him after school, but today when he had asked, I had said no. Because I wanted to buy his Kwanzaa thing, of course. But now I was with him and he was mildly bewildered.

Okay, a little more than mildly. Anyways.

"Ah! Alvin, where did you come from?" he exclaimed, jumping back onto the grass. I shrugged and grinned.

"Nowhere. Here, happy Kwanzaa." I pushed my hands into his personal bubble and held them there until he picked up the tiny kinara in my palms with his delicate fingers, and observing it confusedly.

"Kwanzaa? Do I honestly look African to you, Al?" he asked me, looking at it around. I shook my head and shrugged again.

"Of course not. But I felt like I had to get you something. And I don't know what to get you. So." I pointed at the candles. "Do you like it?"

"It's…nice. Though I don't really know what it is," he said. "It looks like the menorah you gave me, except…not Jewish."

"That's because it's not Jewish, silly," I said, rolling my eyes and waving my hand. "It's a kinara. It's what Kwanzaa people use for…Kwanzaa."

"That's…interesting." Elijah looked at it, and then put it in his pocket gently. Then he looked up at me, a bemused expression on his face, and I glimpsed around his outfit and backpack to see that the menorah and the Santa-reindeer-sleigh things were sticking out from the side pockets. Hm. That cash register dude wasn't lying? I peeked back at Eli's face, to see that he was scrutinizing me like there was something wrong with me. "But Al, I don't get it. Why are you getting me all this stuff, when I don't celebrate any of it?"

"Well I didn't know you didn't celebrate them," I said defensively. "I mean, you could have at least told me you weren't Jewish, with a name like that. Or didn't celebrate Christmas, because fucking everyone celebrates that. Geez."

"Well I am sorry Al," Elijah retaliated. "But you don't really have to get me anything. I'm perfectly fine with like, no special holidays or traditions or anything, if that's what you're worried about."

"But you can't be perfectly fine! This is the gift-giving season!" I protested. "I have to get you at least something, albeit Kwanzaa or Christmas or anything!"

"What are you talking about?" Elijah's eyebrows furrowed cutely at the top of his face. "That's like commemorating July 4th in England! Or something. I mean, it's not like I don't appreciate the presents. I just…don't need them."

"But you must need something! You don't even celebrate some weird obscure gift-giving holiday I don't know about?" I said incredulously. Elijah shook his head.

"Not that I know of," he replied. "It's okay, Al. Don't worry about it."

"I need to worry about it! This is…this is blasphemous!" I cried. "Are you kidding? The winter season is the best part of the year! And you're telling me that you don't celebrate anything?!"

"I don't see the need to," he said simply. "But you celebrate Christmas, right?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I frowned at the sudden change of subject.

He shrugged and reached into his left pocket, not the one where he had put the kinara. The menorah and the Christmas sleigh jangled noisily from his backpack as he pulled a small blue box out. I looked at it oddly as he shoved it into my hands. "Here."

"Wh-What is it?" I looked at it bewilderedly. "Where did you get it?"

"The pharmacy back there." He thumbed back into the direction I had come from. "I felt like I had to get you something, because you actually care about it and I don't."

I stared at the box, not sure if I should open it at all. He peered closely at me, bending his head down to meet his eyes with mine. "Well? Aren't you going to see what it is?"

"Um…sure." Well this was definitely unexpected. You'd think that a guy who didn't celebrate some stupid holiday would actually get something for it to give to someone else. Especially if that someone else was his significant other, aka me. I flipped the box open by its lid, and then gaped when I saw what was in it. Oh my…

"It's a ring."

"Well, it's a cheap, plastic convenience store-bought ring. Your real one's coming in on New Year's. Now that's a holiday I definitely celebrate," he said teasingly, the sides of his mouth quirking. "Do you like it, Alvin?"

"I…I love it." I gawked at it sitting in my hands. Forget that it was lighter than a feather and its gold paint was clearly peeling off. "It's beautiful."

"Thanks." At this, Elijah actually blushed. We had made it to his front door at this point, and I was trying to manage myself from tripping over my own two feet because my concentration was much too focused on the blue box. While Elijah took his house key out from his backpack, I took the ring out and slipped it onto my finger, and flinched as it pinched my skin.

"I think you might have gotten it a size too small," I said sarcastically, taking it off and then pushing it onto my pinky. Elijah rolled his eyes, but he said,

"You still love it, yeah? And that's what's important."

"I suppose." I sighed and leaned against the inner walls of his front porch, and then looked at him. "I just…you know what I want this season. But I don't know what you want. You don't celebrate anything. What the hell am I supposed to get you?"

"You don't need to get me anything," said Eli, turning his attention away from putting his hand on the handle of his screen door, and instead shifted his body towards me. He eyed down at me, and put his fingers around my neck from the back of my head, and pressed our faces together until his forehead was leaning against my own and our noses were touching.

His hazel eyes looked into my own brown ones, stopping me short from saying anything at this sudden movement, as he said to me, "I think I've already got all I want, right here."

And then he kissed me, and then I kissed him, and then I suddenly I knew that things couldn't be any more perfect. Because whether he needed one or not, I knew that I was giving him the best holiday present ever.

--

Hooray it's over? I dunno. I kinda liked it XD Even though I didn't proofread it, I only F7'd it for spelling and grammar errors, so I apologize if some things were repetitive/sucked. And I had to do some research about Kwanzaa and shit too. Oh well. There's gonna be another Elijah/Alvin story soon. For New Year's. Obviously. I like them. They is cute. Please leave a review, and in English like the version of Caramelldansen I'm listening to. Not in…Swedish. Actually that'd be pretty cool. Anywho.