Aloha. So, the last chapter of the Loon Letters. This isn't from the Loons themselves; this is a letter from their trusty lawyers to Mr Barry, concerning the damages he has caused. The address makes no sense, but is made up of little things that the Loons should be able to recognise. If anyone recognises the 'postcode', congratulations and a cookie to you. ^^

Epilogue ~ So, Mr Barry, We Meet Again...

Turner and Tennant, Law Firm

Betelgeuse 7

KAZ 2Y5

Deep Space

1st January 2010

Dear Mr. B. of Pearly Gates,

As the solicitors in charge of the estate and accounts of the League of Lunatics [est. 2009] it is our duty to inform you that the eight girls in question are filing a restraining order against yourself and also suing for damages. They have kindly asked us to include a list of charges that will be presented to you by your own lawyers at a later date. These charges can be found below:

- Property Damages

Builders required for roof - £300 labour charge

200 quality slate tiles – £200

Kitchen table and chair set from IKEA – total of £129.99

Science equipment destroyed – £1,200

Broken water pipe - £50

Damaged door bolt - £9.99

Smashed windows – total of £255.99

- Further Damages

Two High School Musical posters - £5

Doctor Who figurines (193) – total of £97.35

Doctor Who posters (13) – total of £24

Doctor Who series' 1 – 4 boxsets – total of £85

Batman cape - £4.99

2 Nightwish CD's – total of £18.45

Supernatural Seasons 1 – 4 DVD boxsets – total of £80

Public Park flowerbeds (ruined by livestock) - £200

Staple gun - £15

Sheep costume (shredded by geese) - £24

Trilby (trampled by cows) - £7.99

Four bottles of 'Oust' – total of £13

-Other Costs/Charges

Psychiatrist Bills – total of £300.54

Vets Bills – total of £176.56

Pet Cremation – total of £1,005

Grief Counselling - £45

Gilford's Gun Repairs - £45

Kick That Habit! Motivational Calendar - £5.50

Complaints filed against clients registered by Tesco's – total of £500

Pet Therapy: Pets Faced Trauma? – five guinea pigs = £68

Alcoholics' Anonymous membership (total of three) – £24

Ammunition [3mm] packs of 300 (x2) - £34

Tranquillisers - £30

Sedatives - £14.50

Four '16 packs' of Pepsi MAX (no sugar) - £25

52 Deluxe Family bars of Cadbury's milk chocolate - £140

12 bags of Cadbury's mini eggs - £19.99

Caffeine Detox Guide Book: How to Get off the Coffee - £12

Quick-Turf: Easy Grow Grass Seed - £65

Wasting Police Time – [undecided]

Black matte paint for Chevrolet Impala '67 - £35

Re-upholstered interior seats of Chevrolet Impala '67 - £234.04

Anti depressants - £40 (for all)

Alcoholic beverages – total of £104.32

Birdseed - £23

Our clients also want you to know that any future mental health problems, paranoia or therapy needed will be entirely your doing and they would like to make it clear that they are converting to Satanism because of what they feel is a betrayal of their trust on your part.

We hope this will be taken into full consideration by both your solicitors and yourself. The payments are expected to be paid in full by the end of next month, and failure to pay will be treated with the utmost seriousness.

Yours,

A. TURNER

D. TENNANT

[solicitors]