The Last Letter.

You leave me breathless
You're everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can't believe that you're mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you're leaving me
Breathless

Breathless by Shane Ward

The wind blew the curtains, while the evening breeze caressed the corners of the room. My eyes were fixed upon the lonely moon that was pinned above accompanied by the stars of this July night. Anxiety dressed me tonight, wrapped me with so much pain and leaving me so much matter to think of. "Should I be here?" I asked for a million times but no matter what the answer maybe, I am here. Already. So what was the point asking anyway?

Then I turned to look at the other side of the bed and saw the man. The man whose face I have seen every waking hour of my life. His eyes closed; his face somehow visited by uneasiness even in his sleep. A face I have known for so long; someone whose voice used to play so many musical words in my ears. I continued to run my attention down his feature while hoping his eyes would not open and wouldn't see the color that's painted in my face. I love him, I am sure, but somehow I want him to be not the one he is right now.

Three years it had been since I walked on the church aisle with the loveliest white gown and with beautiful white lirios in my grasp. People around me were beaming, but somewhere behind my chest…something could not afford to smile. I could not force it to smile knowing that the hands waiting at the altar were not the same anymore. I wanted to stop walking and turn around to go and to escape from my hurtful pretense. I looked at his face. "It's still him", I convinced my hammering heart.

I turned on my side of the bed and once again gazed at the dim creation that was presented upon me. While silence lost with the sound of the wind in battle, I closed my eyes and tried to think about him.

Someone's whose arms I wanted to be wrapped with; whose voice I wanted to hear.

I tried to imagine for only in my thoughts we could be together.

***

He.

She finally turned the other way the part away from me. She had been like this for countless nights. She would cry herself to sleep while feeding her aching heart with their memories. I know him, the one who owned the largest part of her heart and mind. I know I am not the man she wanted to be with or the man she wished I am…but here we were. I didn't want to hurt her but I had no choice. If only I could make it up to her, if only I could ask someone to give me back what I have lost.

I know far beyond the back of my mind, she's the one for me. How can I doubt that fact if every time I caught even just a glimpse of her, my heart wanted to get out of my chest? Yet, it gave me so much pain to gaze in her eyes and know that she's searching for the one that's not me, but I loved her not just once…twice if I may say.

Tragic, it was indeed but this was not my plan. If I could have it my way there would never be a day that she would feel abandoned by the one that she longed for, I hate seeing her cry because she's with me instead. I wanted so much to hug her tonight, but this only lead me to forming my hands into fists knowing that I am not the one she needed. My arms, no matter how similar they are to his would not give her the warmth she wanted in times of cold. Hurt is inevitable for the both of us and there's no way to escape the tears just like tonight as I finally hear her sobs once again.

***

She.

I could not help but cry for recalling him was the most painful want that I do. I remembered the way he said 'I love you' under the big shady tree. The way he kissed me just before he left to serve the nation. I love him and I would never hinder him from setting his feet on the paths that would lead them to fulfilling his dreams…eventhough it would mean change. And that change showed up much than I expected to be. Now, I am here, with him…but he's a stranger masked with the face of the one I love.

***

He.

I wanted so much to wipe her tears, to hush her to sleep tonight. But I am as powerless as a gun having no bullets to shoot or maybe a soldier without any means of surviving the battle. I wanted so much to think about the past and strive to remember beyond the veil that separated me from the ones that I had before, but I always end up failing...not just myself or her, but as well as the hope for this relationship to blossom. By this, I never get tired of blaming myself for her tears, for her sufferings, and her sobs of longing.

***

She.

I know it's wrong, an unwanted thing to even think of. But I could not help but be sad and think about him. About the one who stole my heart who brought it with him in battle but when he returned to me, he didn't come back with my heart, he left it there! I bet he was careless, but I know it was not his fault. Maybe he dropped my heart accidentally when bullets were chasing him. Or maybe, a thief had also stolen it from him, and my heart was not the only one that was taken away from him. The thief as well took the most essential part of his being: his memory.

***

He.

The moment I awoke that day and didn't remember anything, it was like starting all over again. I didn't know anything! Damn, not even my name. Then suddenly she went running to me with tears in her brown depths and while her hair danced with the air…something behind the skin of my chest ached. So loud, it wanted to shout for a name it could not even remember. She beautifully cried in my shoulder and told me how much she missed and love me and how she prayed for me to come back in her life. Then her sobs were cut when I finally uttered the words of a stranger. "Who are you?" Please don't ask me how to describe her the moment she knew about my memory loss. It was such a knife stabbing painful sight to behold!

***

She.

I cried, for crying is the only thing that I could do. My love for him wasn't gone. It was so strong that I still want to marry him amidst his amnesia. I, with other people, hope that one day I would be able to make him remember who he was, but after three long years...I keep on failing. Torment was present at all sides of the room leaving me no other choice to choose from but sleep in my tear-drenched pillow. It's way too painful knowing that he's with me all along positioned right beside me in the bed, but I could not tell him how I really felt right now, how much my love for him is killing me.

***

He.

She had finally stopped crying and now for the million times that I have been secretly wiping her tears, I also let go of my own sadness and let it drip down my cheeks. Feeling her wet face in my hands was like cutting the most beautiful rose in the garden, or maybe like a child letting go of his kite. I love her so much, maybe even stronger than I have loved her before. But I have nothing else to do. It's like losing my queen in battle...checkmate! So I finally made up my mind. If I am hurting the one that I love the most simply because of being with her, then I would do the sacrifice.

***

She.

The rays of the sun struggled to find way amidst the bright yellow curtains of the room. I gently turned the other side of the bed to gaze at his face while he still sleeps because the moment he opened his eyes, he would be a whole new different person once again. But when I was ready to see his face, his absence was the one that welcomed me. And there lay on his pillow, a letter.

"I could not afford to see you hurt anymore. I am sorry for everything that I have done since I came back. I know I would never cease to cause you pain if I stay, so I thought that maybe, I just have to let you go…but believe that I love you the best way that I could for who I am now. Maybe one day, I'll come back with who I was but for the mean time, I decided to stop hurting you with the mask of who I was before…"

Tears ran down my cheeks as I read his letter for maybe the hundredth time now. I have not heard any news from him since then. But I know that deep down in my heart that I love him. My love for him is an ever fixed mark! Just like a tiny little star that twinkled in the gray December sky. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. My heart started to hammer for I don't know what reason. And when I finally reached the knob, I saw a man in military clothing while his eyes looked right straight into my being.

"I am sent to give you this…" he uttered giving me a box as he immediately looked down at his feet. I guess wanting to hide the formation of despair in his face. My heart grew pounding, so loud it wanted to get out from my chest. I opened the box and found what I have dreaded to see. His stuff. Wallet. Picture. Ring. And a Letter.

My tears wanted to ran away from within my eyes the moment I took hold of his letter.

Another letter.

The Last Letter.

His familiar neat penmanship welcomed my eyes. "To my dearest wife," I read the first line. "I went back to battle to find what I have lost there hoping that the sound of the firing gun or exploding things would make me remember the treasure that was taken away from me." I ran down the next lines and was caught by one. "I have found it! How delightful it is to finally remember. And now, nothing could hinder me from coming back to you as me. The real me. Now I understand why you grieved so much about my former identity." I stopped reading that portion once more. My heart beat twice as the normal rate for knowing that he was finally able to retrieve his memory. Then I continued. "One week. Seven days my wife. You and I only have to wait for days before we reunite as the first lovers. If they would just allow me to leave right at this very moment, I would. But they just wouldn't. I feel like I could not wait any longer to feel and hold you in my arms once again." Tears continued to run down my cheeks. The letter was ended there for I don't know why. Then suddenly his scribbled signature was done hastily at the bottom. "Raphael."

I looked up and folded the paper that was now full of fallen tears. I stared at the man. "It was his last wish that this shall be sent to you in any way." He added. My sobs went louder. "He was such a great man. He talks about you everyday. He calls out for your name at night as if you're the only one he knows. I didn't know that a man like him is capable of feeling the way he felt for you." He paused to reach for my shoulders. "But I am sorry…he's not able to come back anymore."

***

She.

I cried while I absent mindedly crumpled his last letter in my hands. Seeing it crushed just like my very own heart. Then I looked up at the sky and saw the azure. The wind blew the curtains of the house as if it's trying to whisper something in my ears. But what it could be, I could not decipher. I could not hear him anymore.

And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I'm thankful for the life we've made

A/N: Thank you for reading this short story. And i'd be very glad to read about your comments. Tell me how you think about this. Thanks.

-faLLenvalley-18 (^_^)